"Friendship with God is reserved for those who reverence him. With them alone he shares the secrets of his promises." (Psalm 25:14 LB)

For those who understand ancient Middle Eastern culture, there is a clear picture being presented in David’s statement above. Before we present that image, we must briefly consider the life of royalty.

Typically speaking, the common man would only see his nation’s king in controlled settings. It is possible that he would catch a glimpse of him as he traveled through town surrounded by his aides and bodyguards, but he would be more likely to see the king on his throne. Everything surrounding him in that regal setting is meant to convey the idea that this is a special person. The last thing the king’s assistants want is for the commoners to enter that room and see the king on their own level.

<pull-quote>"Friendship with God is reserved for those who reverence him. With them alone he shares the secrets of his promises." (Psalm 25:14 LB)<pull-quote><tweet-link>TweetThis<tweet-link>

The point in all this pageantry is to exalt the king—not so he can somehow feel better about himself—but so his subjects will respect his authority. The average citizen will never see his king under circumstances other than these.

However, every monarch has those close confidants to whom he can share his heart. He has his “joint chiefs of staff,” the military leaders whose job it is to defend the country. He also has economic advisors, political consultants and those who specialize in foreign affairs. Each of these people have access to the nation’s leader that the common man will never enjoy.

But then there are those with whom the king shares his deepest secrets: his perspectives and attitudes about other leaders, the long-range purposes he holds for his kingdom, the way he handles the great variety of issues of the day he faces.

This is also true in God’s kingdom. He too has His favorites. However, there is an amazing difference between an earthly leader and the Almighty. While a president or king confides in old friends and gifted advisors, God opens the door for any commoner to enter that level of intimacy with Him. He leaves it completely up to us: we can have as little or as much fellowship with Him as we desire.

Another difference in the two situations is the quality of people desiring attendance in these two throne rooms. One of the greatest challenges an earthly monarch faces is the difficulty in discerning a person’s motives for wanting to be near him. Too often, crafty, ambitious men adept at using flattery and feigned devotion are the ones to gain a position of trust.

This is not the case with our God! Not only does He have personal knowledge of each and every citizen in His kingdom, but He can see past a person’s outward show and right into the very motives and attitudes of the heart. As the Lord told Samuel, “God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

So God can flawlessly choose the ones with whom He wishes to share that level of intimacy. Not only can we rest assured that only those who belong in such a place of honor will be awarded it, but that door is open to all! Every citizen of God’s kingdom has the right to such a position if he will only prove it through his reverential devotion to the Lord.

And how about you?

• Where do you see yourself in God’s circle of friends?
• Are you willing to consecrate yourself to His kingdom in such a way that He could call you friend?

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In this "Timeless Truths" segment from our archives, Kathy Gallagher talks about the beauty of forgiveness and mercy, and shows hurting wives how to be in that spirit toward their husbands.

Host: Kathy, I know that you were thrilled to get this letter from Yolanda. She wants some information and help on how she can live the mercy life. Her problem is, how do you live the mercy life in a marriage where you've been hurt by your husband?

Kathy: Yeah. First of all, Mike, I'd like to try and describe what the mercy life is as we know it here at Pure Life Ministries. The Mercy Life is a life where we put the needs of others above our own. It's a Biblical life. The Mercy life is a life where you are meeting the needs of other people. It’s a life where you see a need and you fill it and that can be applied in any situation in life. You could do some small thing to meet a need for someone that's struggling in your workplace. You can do an act of kindness for a neighbor.
        There's an endless list of ways that you can just simply meet a need. And because you love Jesus and because He lives in you, naturally you do kindnesses to other people. So, now let me paint how this mercy life can be lived out in a marriage where the husband is living in sexual sin. A lot of women are afraid to be too kind because understandably, they have their guard up. But I just want to encourage wives that living the mercy life toward your husband is the only way to live your life in a way that's pleasing to God.

Host: Well, basically what you're saying Kathy is the mercy life is what Christianity is really supposed to be about. But you're not talking about just people doing good things for other people. There's nothing wrong with that, but it has to be motivated by something. What is it in us that produces the mercy life as we mature as Christians?  

Kathy: As time goes on, the love of Jesus takes over in us and we begin to see the needs around us and we want to meet those needs. I'll never forget a lady I met up in Vermont. She was an elderly woman and she was just such a tremendous blessing to me. And I don't even know why she said this to me, but she walked up to me and she wrapped her arms around me and she said, “The most God-like characteristic there is, is forgiveness.” That was many years ago and it really affected me.
        When she said it, I was trying to process through why she was saying that to me. And over the years it has become so real to me what she was saying. It was Jesus Himself speaking to me through her that forgiveness, mercy and love are the characteristics that are manifested in the life of a believer that shows we really belong to Jesus. You know you've been born from above when you love the brethren and mercy is flowing out of your life. As we mature as Christians, that's what comes out of us more and more.

Host: I know as you're saying that women are going to be thinking to themselves, “Okay. So, I have to go be merciful and I have to generate forgiveness in my heart.” But we can't do that on our own. We have to have a revelation of something for that to take place.

Kathy: Right. And I think that revelation comes when we come to terms with the mercy that's been given to us. When we understand and we really grasp the goodness of God toward us then it becomes much easier to forgive those who have offended us. But if it's not real to you in your spirit, how much debt has been forgiven you then it becomes very difficult to forgive the debt of another, even if it is your husband. Now, I understand it as well as any woman listening how much it hurts to be devastated by your husband's unfaithfulness and yet I know, and I knew at the time, what a sinner I was and how much God had forgiven me.
        So, with that knowledge, how could I not forgive Steve? And that revelation and resolve came to me from God. That didn’t come from Kathy Gallagher. It's not in me to be that way. And I think that it is a very big part of the process for a lot of women to really examine themselves when they get in a self-righteous spirit, and they don't want to forgive and they want to hold their husband's sin against them. What they need to do is just remember the debt that has been forgiven for themselves. Their husband's sin is not worse than their own. It's not that God forgave her a little bit and God needs to forgive him a whole bunch. We are all on equal footing.

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Host: And whether it's a spouse or someone else who sins against us, we have to recognize our own sinfulness. That is the beginning of living the mercy life. Are there some practical ways that a wife can help her husband in a situation like this. What are the needs of her husband who may be struggling with sexual sin?

Kathy: Well, there's a lot of things a woman can do. Number one is that without becoming overbearing and demanding, she needs to come up with ways to come alongside her husband. For instance, she should offer for them to pray together. This should be the husband's role, but we have to deal with reality and a lot of guys that are struggling with sexual sin aren't even trying to facilitate times of prayer. So, she can offer to pray with him or they can study the word together, but he needs his wife to support him as he struggles through.
        That doesn't mean that you're putting your seal of approval on his sin, but you're there for him and you're believing with him and you're going to just throw yourself into this marriage as best you can while he works his way through it. And this is only possible if he's in a repentant spirit and has a repentant heart. A lot of men that women are married to are not in a repentant state of heart. So, everybody's got their own set of circumstances that they have to navigate through. And if he's not repentant, she can't be his cheerleader. So, I'm speaking to women whose husbands are really trying to work through the repentance process. She can really offer herself and be supportive. She can be not afraid to give of herself to her husband. He needs that.

Host: Well, I'm glad you made that point because mercy does not always take the same form. Sometimes mercy requires that we rebuke someone.

Kathy: Yea, mercy can be very severe at times. And there were many times when I had to pull the plug on Steve so to speak. I'll just mention here one of those times. I did not know that it was the Lord directing me at the time, but I kept sensing that I needed to separate myself from Steve. And that seemed like the weirdest thing to me because he was doing so well in my mind. Well, eventually I did and sure enough, I found out that the whole time I thought he was doing great, he was doing terrible. So, when I did the hard thing, which was to separate myself from him, it ended up really being the merciful thing. And that was the thing that turned it around for Steve.
        Then there are times when a woman will just have to put her foot down. But again, I always feel like I have to balance everything I say with, “you've got to be in the right spirit,” because we can operate in the flesh. It's too easy to be in the flesh and think what we're doing is mercy when it's really just your flesh causing you to be controlling. Mercy is love in action. It meets the need of another person no matter what the need is and it always costs you something. Whether emotionally, spiritually or physically. When you love someone else, you're giving of yourself. You don't do mercy to get something. Mercy is freely given.

Host: And of course, the greatest example we have of mercy was Jesus. And what he did for us.

Kathy: Amen.

"O God in Zion, we wait before you in silent praise, and thus fulfill our vow. How greatly to be envied are those you have chosen to come and live with you within the holy tabernacle courts! What joys await us among all the good things there." (Psalm 65:1, 4 LB)

It’s Sunday morning and the home of Jim and Janet Smith is a picture of bustling activity. Having gotten ready for church, they turn their attention to the needs of their three children—getting them showered, dressed and fed. Eventually, the family is making their harried drive to church. The scene at their house of worship is amazingly similar to home. Kids are running around the foyer, playing and frolicking. Women huddle together gabbing about their kids, while their husbands discuss the plight of their favorite sports team. The music emerging from the sanctuary brings the conversations to a forced conclusion and, having retrieved their children, they make their way to their seats.

Allow me to present for your consideration a typical Sunday morning service at Pure Life Ministries (PLM). The seventy or so men in the residential program are required to be in the sanctuary 30-60 minutes before the service begins. There they sit in absolute silence until the worship service begins. This routine is a wonderful discipline to men who have allowed their lives to spiral out of control to the point of engaging in illicit sexual behavior. To be required to resist the natural tendency to talk, joke and laugh before service is an entirely new discipline for these men.

While this restraint provides its own benefits, there are other reasons for this practice. First, there is a great gulf between singing hymns and choruses by rote and truly worshiping God from the heart. “God is spirit,” said Jesus, “and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” (John 4:24) If we are going to go through the motions of worshiping God, we must do it in the Spirit (as opposed to the flesh) and in truth (as opposed to contrived and insincere devotion). Realistically, the only way such worship can take place is for a person to quiet himself; to subdue his flesh so that he can be properly prepared to offer sincere, Spirit-led worship to God.

<pull-quote>If we are going to worship God, we must do it in the Spirit (as opposed to the flesh) and in truth (as opposed to contrived and insincere devotion). The only way such worship can take place is for a person to quiet himself so that he can offer sincere worship to God.<pull-quote><tweet-link>TweetThis<tweet-link>

Secondly, it is proper to approach the Most High God with a reverential attitude. I believe that one of the reasons sin is running rampant in the Church is that people have increasingly become familiar with holy things. It’s not uncommon anymore to hear the Lord spoken of disrespectfully, e.g., “Jesus is my bud!” How much better it is to approach God with the holy fear that befits the situation.

Having been in at least a thousand such meetings at PLM, I can testify that when we begin to worship the Lord, it is real, it is meaningful and it is sincere. Visitors are amazed at how God’s presence is so tangible in the Pure Life chapel. Is it because we are better than others? No, I believe it simply because we approach the Lord with the respect He is due.

And how about you?

• Can you see how it would help your walk with God to quiet yourself before going to church?
• Are you willing to commit yourself to approaching future worship times with a quiet spirit, a loving heart and a reverential attitude?

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"The Lord has corrected me sternly, but He has not abandoned me to destruction." (Psalm 118:18 Har)

It should go without saying that the Lord handles newborn Christians with “kid gloves.” They cannot handle much so the Lord tends to shield them from overwhelming difficulties. A boxing manager would not throw his new fighter into the ring with a seasoned veteran; a mother would not send her toddler across a busy thoroughfare by himself; and the Lord doesn’t put His baby believers into situations they are not yet prepared to handle.

<pull-quote>A boxing manager would not throw his new fighter into the ring with a seasoned veteran; a mother would not send her toddler across a busy thoroughfare by himself; and the Lord doesn’t put His baby believers into situations they are not yet prepared to handle.<pull-quote><tweet-link>TweetThis<tweet-link>

However, correction is as much a part of the Christian maturing process as it is for the young child. Solomon could have been talking about the Lord’s dealings with His people when he wrote, “If you refuse to discipline your son, it proves you don’t love him; for if you love him, you will be prompt to punish him… A youngster’s heart is filled with rebellion, but punishment will drive it out of him.” (Proverbs 13:24; 22:15 LB) And, as the writer of Hebrews later pointed out: “If God doesn’t punish you when you need it, as other fathers punish their sons, then it means that you aren’t really God’s son at all—that you don’t really belong in his family.” (Hebrews 12:8 LB)

As members of a race of rebels, there is much within us that must be corrected. If we are left to ourselves, we will nearly always tend to think, speak and act in a way that characterizes the fallen nature. The very fact that it comes so “naturally” points out the need to have our mindset continually adjusted. The Lord uses different tools to accomplish this, but, by and large, the most effective means He has to help us to acquire the mind of Christ is through various forms of discipline.

There are those times that we are disciplined because we have committed some outright sin. But just as often, we must “go out to the woodshed” simply as part of the maturing process. Sometimes those bouts of discipline can be very severe. While we fragile humans can’t handle too much adversity, the Lord knows far better than we how powerfully effective such times are in changing our natures. There are some times when the Vinekeeper must prune the branch all the way back to the Vine. And yet, it is this very kind of severe pruning that always produces the most bountiful crop.

While there are those occasions when the discipline seems to be so overwhelming that the person despairs of life itself, there is an inherent promise found in the psalmist’s testimony: “Yes, the Lord has disciplined me severely, but He will never allow me to be destroyed by it.” In fact, it could easily be argued that His desire to save us from destruction is one of His primary reasons for allowing the discipline in the first place.

As difficult as the Christian life can be at times, what is the alternative? I would rather the Lord thrash me to an inch of my life; nay, I would rather He allowed me to die a violent death, than for Him to allow me to destroy myself through sin and rebellion.

And how about you?

• How do you respond when the Lord brings correction into your life?

• Have you learned to see the value of it, or are you still at an early developmental stage of resisting the process?

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"My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises! Awake, my glory! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn." (Psalm 57:7-8)

In yesterday’s devotional, we took a brief glimpse at the word “steadfast” in Psalm 57:7 (Heb. kun). This Hebraic term is also used in the sense of preparation. For instance, of the Israelites who wandered in the wilderness with Moses for forty years, the psalmist said that they were “A stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation that did not prepare its heart and whose spirit was not faithful to God.” (Psalm 78:8) In contradistinction to this wayward generation, King Hezekiah would later pronounce a special blessing on a certain group of Israelites: “May the good Lord pardon everyone who prepares his heart to seek God…” (2 Chronicles 30:18-19)

Elsewhere I wrote the following:

“The important position the heart occupies within a person can be seen in Scripture… People are told to ‘rend’ their hearts (Joel 2:12), seek God with all their hearts (Psalm 119:2, 10), and pour out their hearts before Him. (Psalm 62:8) We are told of those who deceive their own hearts (James 1:26), backslide in heart (Proverbs 14:14), spurn reproof in their hearts (Proverbs 5:12), and regard wickedness in their hearts. (Psalm 66:18) It’s no wonder then that we are admonished to, ‘Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.’ (Proverbs 4:23 KJV) Surely it is true: ‘the inward thought and the heart of a man are deep.’” (Psalm 64:6)

Preparing one’s heart to meet with the Lord is an important aspect of maintaining a quality devotional life. The truth is that the heart of man has a natural propensity toward sin, selfishness and pride. Spiritual pursuits do not come naturally to us. We must prepare our hearts to seek the Lord.

<pull-quote>The truth is that the heart of man has a natural propensity toward sin, selfishness and pride. Spiritual pursuits do not come naturally to us. We must prepare our hearts to seek the Lord.<pull-quote><tweet-link>TweetThis<tweet-link>

The other interesting word found in today’s passage of Scripture is “glory.” Why would David be speaking of his own glory? The Hebrew word literally means “weighty.” From there it is used to describe someone of substantial character. Of course, this term is rightly used repeatedly of the Lord. I believe Spurgeon captured the right idea when he said the following about this phrase: “Let the noblest powers of my nature bestir themselves: the intellect which conceives thought, the tongue which expresses it, and the inspired imagination which beautifies it - let all be on the alert now that the hour for praise has come.”3

And how about you?

• Do you consider your relationship with God valuable enough to prepare your heart to meet with Him?

• Does He mean enough to you that you will gather together all of your most noble aspirations to praise His name?

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‍"My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing, yes, I will sing praises!  Awake, my glory!  Awake, harp and lyre!  I will awaken the dawn."  (Psalm 57:7-8)

David was running for his life when he penned these words. It’s possible he felt that he needed to rouse himself up to maintain his devotional life, but his story clearly shows that for years before this he had already maintained a solid time with God every morning.

Generally speaking, American Christians have been able to get by without much of a connection with God. Life has been good in the United States. But I believe those days are coming to an end. When calamity is striking from every side is not the time to attempt to establish a solid devotional life. When times of distress come, a person who is not accustomed to a solid connection with God is going to come unraveled. It is so much wiser to get one’s devotional life in order during times of peace than to attempt to do it when “all hell is breaking loose” against believers!

<pull-quote>When times of distress come, a person who is not accustomed to a solid connection with God is going to come unraveled. It is so much wiser to get one’s devotional life in order during times of peace than to attempt to do it when “all hell is breaking loose!”<pull-quote><tweet-link>TweetThis<tweet-link>

The word “steadfast” in Psalm 57:7 (Heb. kun) is rendered “fixed” in some translations. This is a man who had determined—above all else—to have a time of worship, praise and prayer with God every morning. This kind of commitment is the key to establishing an important habit like prayer. In a certain sense, it is very comparable to quitting smoking. Making the resolute decision to stop the habit is half the battle. What makes the experience so unnecessarily miserable is when the person constantly waffles back and forth with his commitment.

So it is with establishing a prayer life. Once a person has made a firm consecration to doing this—no matter what distractions the enemy might throw at him—he is halfway there! Notice David’s commitment: “I will sing… I will sing praises!... I will awaken the dawn.” I will! I will! I will! He expressed this same sentiment on another occasion when he said, “In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice; in the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch.” (Psalm 5:3)

It will take this kind of resolute determination to get one’s prayer life established. Someone once said, “Satan laughs at our toiling, mocks at our wisdom, but trembles when we pray.”1 It is for this very reason that he and his minions do their utmost to discourage believers from praying. Watchman Nee wrote: “When we pray with such prayer, our prayer will shake up hell and affect Satan. For this reason, Satan will rise up to hinder such prayer. All prayers which come from God touch the powers of darkness. Here involves spiritual warfare. Perhaps our physical bodies, our families, or whatever pertains to us will be attacked by Satan. For whenever there is such prayer, it calls for Satanic assault. The enemy so attacks in order that our prayer might be discontinued.”2

We must be determined to overcome all the distractions and attacks the enemy will hurl our way. Once they see that you consider your devotional time to be inviolable, they will grow discouraged and give up.

Yes, there is a reason they are called “devotions.” You must be truly devoted to Christ to stay faithful to your daily devotions.

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And how about you?

• Have you made this kind of commitment to spending quality time with the Lord? Do you faithfully seek His face every morning?

• Can He count on you to intercede for the lost?

• Does your daily life reveal a true devotion to Christ?

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Like any wife, Kathy Gallagher felt utterly shattered by her husband's affairs and pornography addiction. But God also helped her to see that her husband Steve was in the fight of his life. He was fighting tooth and nail against his own flesh, the world and the devil. In today’s episode, Kathy Gallagher offers a new perspective about a husband’s struggle with sexual sin.

Resources

• When His Secret Sin Breaks Your Heart (Book) By Kathy Gallagher
• There is Hope in Knowing the Truth About Sexual Sin (Blog)

Like any wife, Kathy Gallagher felt utterly shattered by her husband's affairs and pornography addiction. But God also helped her to see that her husband Steve was in the fight of his life. He was fighting tooth and nail against his own flesh, the world and the devil. In today’s episode, Kathy Gallagher offers a new perspective about a husband’s struggle with sexual sin.

Resources

• When His Secret Sin Breaks Your Heart (Book) By Kathy Gallagher

When life gets really hard, we often cry out “God, why did you allow this to happen to me?” But the real question we should be asking is, "Am I still trusting that God is good and merciful, despite what I'm going through?" In this interview, Kathy Gallagher exhorts wives to make sure that their trials are not destroying their faith.

Resources

• When His Secret Sin Breaks Your Heart (Book) By Kathy Gallagher
• Rescued, Redeemed, Restored (Part 1) | Greg and Paloma's Story of Hope (Podcast)
• One Woman's Submission to the Lordship of Christ (Podcast)

When life gets really hard, we often cry out “God, why did you allow this to happen to me?” But the real question we should be asking is, "Am I still trusting that God is good and merciful, despite what I'm going through?" In the fourth episode of our series, Hope for Hurting Wives, Kathy Gallagher exhorts wives to make sure that their trials are not destroying their faith.

Resources

• When His Secret Sin Breaks Your Heart (Book) By Kathy Gallagher

There is nothing wrong with wanting a good marriage, or even a "perfect" one. But what is a perfect marriage from God's perspective, and what does it require to have one? Kathy Gallagher is back for the third episode of our series, Hope for Hurting Wives.

Resources

• When His Secret Sin Breaks Your Heart (Book) By Kathy Gallagher

There is nothing wrong with wanting a good marriage, or even a "perfect" one. But what is a perfect marriage from God's perspective, and what does it require to have one? Kathy shares about this in episode 3 of our series.

Resources

• When His Secret Sin Breaks Your Heart (Book) By Kathy Gallagher
• Hold Fast to a Living Hope (Blog) by Kathy Gallagher