This episode: Deliverance from sexual sin often comes only after truly waiting on God. Learn some of these principles in today's episode!
We're so excited about all the Lord is doing through our ministry! Check out our latest video to find out what we've been up to in 2024.
Timeless Truths: The evidence of saving faith is not that a person believes doctrines, but that they love and obey God from the heart.
This episode: We’ll provide a biblical response to the question, “What is the first step to breaking free from sexual sin?”
Jesus made the perfect sacrifice for us on the cross and there is a right and a wrong response to that kind of love.
One of the things the Cross is for man is a perfect sacrifice for his sin. We are hopelessly unable to atone for our sin, yet Jesus offered himself as a perfect sacrifice on our behalf. What should our response be when we see the wonder and beauty of such love? Ed Buch uses Colossians 1 to show us in this brief talk given to the men in our Residential Program.
Tonight I’ve been thinking about the Cross and there was a line in one of the songs we were singing during worship earlier that says, “Spotless Lamb of God was He.” That just had me thinking about how the Cross represents different things Scripturally, and one of those things is the perfect sacrifice for sin. When we think about the Cross, it was our sin that required the Cross as a sacrifice. According to Hebrews 9:22 without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness and no remission of sin. We see in the Old Testament that life of an animal was is in the blood. And what is the wages of sin? Death. Sin brought death and the life is in the blood. So in order to bring life, it required the shedding of blood. And if you look at the Old Testament system, God accepted animal sacrifices for a season, but even in that, it tells us over 100 times in Scripture that the sacrifice had to be blameless or perfect or unblemished.
The emphasis was on this perfect sacrifice because we couldn't do it. We had to choose perfect animals. They were closer than anything we could have come up with ourselves as a sacrifice. But then God of course, sent the perfect one, right? The spotless Lamb of God who could become that sacrifice for us. And if we go to Colossians 1, there's a passage there that is just worth spending a moment on. Colossians 1, verse 19:
“For it pleased the Father that in Him all the fullness should dwell, and by Him to reconcile all things to Himself, by Him, whether things on earth or things in heaven, having made peace through the blood of His cross.” (Colossians 1:19-20, NKJV)
That peace is real. It's deliberate and it's more than just an emotion. It's the peace of God. Like Jesus said, it's a peace that the world can't take away. The passage continues on to say:
“And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight.” (Colossians 1:21-22, NKJV)
He was the perfect sacrifice. And what's it saying there? He's saying he’s going to make you perfect. He’s going to make you the blameless one, the perfect one. And that's what we can become in Him. Because of Him and because of His sacrifice. None of us are going to live sinless lives, but we are going to stand before God one day and we’re going to be in a wholly blameless situation if we have really committed our lives to loving and worshiping and surrendering to the Lord. But notice the very next word after all that. A lot of times we want to stop reading at a place like that. But what's the very next word?
"If indeed you continue in the faith, grounded and steadfast, and are not moved away from the hope of the gospel which you heard, which was preached to every creature under heaven, of which I, Paul, became a minister.” (Colossians 1:23, NKJV)
So, there is something we must do. We must respond to all of this message, and responding to it is not just the act of mentally accepting it. A true response to the Lord is grounded in being steadfast in the faith and continuing to endure in the faith. That's what's required. Jesus did make the perfect sacrifice in our place because of our inability to do so. But there is a right and a wrong response to the sacrifice He offered up for us. And I hear in some of the worship that is going on in our services here at Pure Life that the right response is in many of you, but I want it to be there in all of you. I want you all to have a true sight of the Cross. I'm may not be able to convey the excitement of it very well, but the Cross should excite you. The Cross should be a symbol of gratitude to us. A symbol of hope to us. A symbol of perfect sacrifice to us. It should also be a symbol of Jesus's perfect obedience.
Philippians 2 says that He obeyed even to the death of the Cross. You and I struggle with rules. I struggle with following rules as simple as driving the speed limit. But Jesus laid down all of His self-will and obeyed perfectly. When we don't have a will of our own, we don't struggle when it comes to obeying. And the less of our will that we have the better. But that's what the Cross is. It is perfect sacrifice and it is perfect obedience, and we need to come into an understanding and a responding to that. Here at Pure Life Ministries, we talk about having encounters with the Cross or getting a sight of the Cross or even a revelation of the Cross. Yes, you should be seeking to have all of that happen for you, but I also want you to embrace the Cross. I want you to make it yours. The Bible tells us that we need to pick up our cross and carry it daily, so that's what I want us to be able to do as well.
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Let me just mention one other thing. The Cross was an instrument of death. But just contemplate for a moment what Jesus went through for you. He had spikes driven through His hands and His feet. He was nailed to the Cross with His limbs stretched out and He was suspended so that his body weight was pulling on all of His wounds. He had to actually push himself up to be able to take a breath because His insides were being pressed in tight and it's hard to even breathe in that position for very long.
Imagine you're hanging out there in the middle of the day in a place where there's no shade and no rain and no cloud cover to speak of. If you've been to Israel, you know it's hot most of the time. So, you'd be just hanging out there with that sun scorching you as you're trying to push yourself up. But every time you push, you're like pushing against gaping wounds in your flesh where you've been nailed. It was the cruelest form of punishment known to man. And maybe it still is even, but certainly in that day it was the cruelest form of execution known and it was so bad that Roman citizens were automatically exempt from it. It was considered cruel even to them.
They would only put their enemies through that punishment. That should tell us something about how much suffering Jesus went through. It was meant to inflict the most pain possible for the longest period of time possible. That's why they used it as a deterrent against criminal behavior because you were going to hang on a cross in incredible pain for an incredibly long time. And then even as Jesus was hanging there everybody was reviling Him. If you remember from Scripture, it says that even the thieves on either side of Him were reviling Him. The people walking by or standing there at the foot of the Cross were mocking Him.
He didn't get any sympathy or respect even while He was on the Cross and even all of his friends had fled and deserted Him. This was a horrible thing. I don't think you or I could write a script that would be more horrible than that. And what was Jesus’ attitude like? His attitude was, “not my will but yours be done Father. I want to do this. If this is the way it has to be, this is what I want to do. I want to lay down my life. I want to give my life up for the sake of others. I want people to have hope. I want people to have a way out of their sin. I want people to have a cleansing for their sin that they can't have otherwise. I want to give them this.”
So, there should be a lot of gratitude in our hearts as a result of that kind of love. Don't cheapen the Cross.
When everything is crumbling around us, Jesus is solid and the source of real hope.
For over 35 years, we have been ministering to hurting wives. And the essence of our message is that when everything is crumbling all around us, and when everything feels hopeless, Jesus is solid, trustworthy and the source of real hope. This is the second episode in our series, "Hope for Hurting Wives." Thanks for watching!
The core of our message to hurting wives is that when everything is crumbling around us, Jesus is solid and the source of real hope.
For over 35 years, we have been ministering to hurting wives. And the essence of our message is that when everything is crumbling all around us, and when everything feels hopeless, Jesus is solid, trustworthy and the source of real hope. This is the second episode in our new series, Hope for Hurting Wives. Thanks for listening!
Kathy Gallagher joins us to begin a 9-episode series going through her book, "When His Secret Sin Breaks Your Heart."
When a wife finds out that her husband has been unfaithful, her world is shattered by gut-wrenching pain, tormenting fears and haunting questions. But there is HOPE. In our latest series, Kathy Gallagher uses personal testimony and decades of counseling experience to show the hurting wife how to find the God of hope in the midst of the pain.
Join Kathy Gallagher for the first episode of our "Hope for Hurting Wives" series as she shares the hope available for devastated wives.
When a wife finds out that her husband has been unfaithful, her world is shattered by gut-wrenching pain, tormenting fears and haunting questions. But there is HOPE. In our latest series, Kathy Gallagher uses personal testimony and decades of counseling experience to show the hurting wife how to find the God of hope in the midst of the pain.
We need to learn to be givers instead of takers and to deny ourselves instead of indulging ourselves.
Who would have thought that getting into the needs of others would help a person overcome their sexual sin issue? In this interview, Ed Buch & Jordan Yoshimine open up about how the root of their sin problem was a life of selfishness and how the mercy of the Lord broke through that selfishness and broke the power of lust in their lives. (from Episode #559 - Mercy Destroys the Spirit of Lust | Key Lessons on the Road to Freedom)
Nate: Alright. So, it's time for another episode in our series, Key Lessons on the Road to Freedom. Today's key lesson is learning to meet the needs of other people. And the point of this lesson is that our lives should be at some level devoted to meeting the needs of other people.
First off, let me just ask you guys both very simply, why is the mercy life a key lesson that we have to learn as we're walking toward freedom?
Ed: Well, the journey down that road to freedom requires us to deal with the roots of sexual sin. And at the root of sexual sin, there's a major preoccupation with self. That's just the way it is. Living with self at the center, serving self, taking for self and doing what feels good to self is all hand in hand with the sexual sin issue. So, in biblical counseling, we deal with any issue really with a three-pronged approach. It includes putting off the sin, renewing the mind and then putting on the new man. So, obviously with sexual sin, the put off is pretty obvious. Stop acting out the behaviors that are violating the Word of God with your sexuality. Renewing the mind happens through Scripture. The put on in this case comes through meeting the needs of others and investing into the needs of others. And if you never get to the putting on in this area, you won't really be able to sustain lasting victory over your sexual sin.
Jordan: Yeah. I had noted for this discussion pretty much the same concept. Put off, renew the mind and put on. But I also would add in Philippians 2:3, which says, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3, NASB 1995). So we need to put off selfishness. We shouldn't be doing anything that feeds our self-lives, and we should actually be putting on getting into the needs of others. Then we should be doing what Colossians 3:12-14 says, which is to put on love and we should bear one another and forgive one another. So, I think that's an important aspect to remember. When you are battling against selfishness, you need to put on mercy and getting into the needs of others and put on love which is the bond of perfection.
Nate: So, what you guys are saying is that the mercy life, or getting into the needs of others, or giving or serving actually is the thing that's chopping out the root that the sin is flowing out of.
Ed: That's right.
Nate: So, it's not just a matter of needing to put a filter on my phone or I need to have all these boundaries in place. Those things can help. But if you chop out the root, then you're really doing what is needed.
Ed: That's right. You're really getting at the heart issue of all of it and that's what you really want to do and need to do.
Nate: Yeah. And sexual addiction is actually a pretty hot topic these days. People are talking about it a lot. And a lot of people are trying to offer help, so inevitably they're going to start asking questions like, “What are the root issues?” And, “What is really going on that is giving way or giving rise to these addictive behaviors?” And I wonder how many places or people would bluntly just say that the root issue is selfishness in a person.
Ed: I don't think you’d hear that very often.
Nate: Yeah. When did the lights come on for you guys where you were like, “Oh my goodness, the reason I'm doing all this stuff is because I just love myself.”?
Jordan: I've shared my testimony before and it’s on our website, but there came a point in the program where my counselor asked what my biggest idol was. In that moment I couldn't come up with an answer that wasn’t surfacy. I said that my biggest idol may be my car or hockey, but after I walked out of the counseling office a light bulb went off in my head and I thought, “Wow, it's me. I'm the problem.” It was like the veil was torn back and I was able to see the reality of my condition. I was able to see the devastation that my sin had caused. It was very difficult to see all that, but it was necessary.
Ed: Yeah, I honestly did not see myself as the problem before coming to Pure Life. So, when I came to the Residential Program, what really opened my eyes was reading through the book, At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry. I think Chapter 6 in that book deals with the root cause of sexual sin, and I remember that section of the book pretty vividly because that's where Pastor Steve talks about how you need to quit blaming other things. He talks about how we can't blame our past. We can't blame the fact that we were sexually abused or any of those other sorts of circumstances or issues of our upbringing. On top of that, he talks about how we need to quit blaming other people. So, through that I saw that it wasn’t my parents’ fault and it wasn’t my wife's fault either. And as I eliminated all of the people and things that I was focused on and looking at as the problem, the only real problem left was me in the end.
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At that point I was left sitting there thinking, “Wow, OK. It really is me. I'm the problem.” And after that realization it is good for a man to couple that with some good solid teaching from the Bible about needing to be a giver instead of a taker and how he needs to deny himself instead of indulging himself. It is important for us to see that we need to put others ahead of ourselves. It’s also important to be receiving clear biblical teaching on those themes and then look at how we can't blame anything or anyone else. And that should lead a man to say, I'm the problem and I'm not doing things right at all.
Nate: Okay, so then you guys both came to a place of genuine repentance over your selfishness and self-centeredness. And then you had to learn a totally different lifestyle. What helped you learn to live the mercy life?
Ed: As I think about it, I would say it started with good teaching. There was some really good teaching that was assigned to me to read during my program. I was really impacted by another one of Pastor Steve's books called Living in Victory: Through the Power of Mercy. There was also the Mercy Studies class that we would have and still do have every Sunday evening during the program that uses the book, What the Bible Teaches About Mercy by Rex Andrews. And probably outside of Pure Life not many people have ever heard of that book, but there is solid teaching in there about getting into the needs of others and really making that a focus and a priority of the Christian life.
But I really think I learned a lot more about living the mercy life toward others by seeing other people do it. That's one of the blessings as you're in the Residential Program. You have these staff members who are a little further along in their journey of freedom from sexual sin and you see how merciful they can be toward you as a student. There were staff members who would show mercy toward myself and others and there were even some odd examples of it that would really capture my attention. There is one that is a long story, so I won't tell the whole thing, but there was one staff member who had a reputation of being kind of gruff. And I was kidding with him one day about giving me some Oreo cookies. When I got back to my room the next day after being at my job, there was a bag of Oreo cookies on my bed and it was just a simple sort of gesture, but it told me that these people are really investing in others and laying down their lives for others.
On top of that, probably nothing taught me more about living the mercy life than having to deal with difficult people. I was in this program with 70 men who were all at least as selfish as I was. And when you are in that situation something's got to give. You're either going to kill each other or you're going to learn something about putting others ahead of yourself and meeting the needs of others. You are going to learn to yield your rights away and put others higher than yourself.
Jordan: Yeah, I didn't even think of this when you mentioned it but Living in Victory was my favorite Steve Gallagher book in the program. And it was because in the last half of the book it talks about living out the mercy life and that was a completely new concept for me. It was foreign to me that I needed to consider others needs above my own and that that was part of the Christian life.
Ed: It took it from being just a mental idea of esteeming others better and it brought into light the need to actually put others ahead of myself by serving them and by doing something to practically invest into the lives of others.
Jordan: Yeah. And sometimes people can believe they are living the mercy life but they don't recognize that they have mixed motives. They may be doing things for others, but there is some benefit to them for doing their good deeds to others. But the book Living in Victory taught so well that mercy is doing something for others and considering their needs above your own without expecting anything in return.
So when I was in the Residential Program, the thing that really impacted me was learning how to pray and becoming an intercessor. That was really transformational for me. I don't know if it's in that Rex Andrews book or where I heard it, but I heard someone say that 95% of mercy is in prayer. And so, it was emphasized in the program that we needed to spend time in prayer, but also you need to be praying for the needs of others.
When it came to doing mercy through prayer, I got practical applications all the time. When I would complain about other students in the program, my counselor would ask me, “Are you praying for them?” And when he said that I thought to myself, “wow, that's something I can do.” And you can’t imagine the power that prayer has. The person you're praying for may not even change, but your perspective changes and your heart changes through prayer. You begin to see them through God's eyes and you really get into a flow of mercy toward them. Also, when you pray for someone, love wells up in you for that person and genuine concern. So, prayer and intercession for me are pillars when it comes to living the mercy life.
Nate: Yeah. So, if anybody's pretty honest and self-aware, they're going to say, “Wow, this is not natural for me to do.” Because it's not. It's not natural to live a life that is intentionally putting the needs of others above your own needs. And so, it can be taxing. It involves a lot of sacrifice. It can be tiring. It can be disappointing. When you get used by other people or the people that you've poured into just don't do well, it can be very discouraging at times. What keeps you guys going with that kind of focus? Where you can say to yourself, “I'm doing this no matter how difficult it is.”
Jordan: Gratitude. I tell a lot of the guys I counsel how vital it is to be living at the foot of the Cross, keeping your eyes on Calvary and remaining thankful for what Jesus did for you. When I look at Christ and His mercy, what rises up in me is, “Wow Jesus! You did all of this for me?” And of course, that causes gratitude to just well up inside me. So, when I'm discouraged or I have a counselee that's tough or one that's not responding, I always go back to who Jesus is to me and what He did for me. When I do that, gratitude fills my heart. And then out of that well of gratitude mercy just pours out towards others.
When I look at the Cross, what do I have to complain about? What do I have to be discouraged about? The Lord experienced every grief I have known. He is so merciful. He is so lowly. He is so humble. And because of that I choose to be grateful. Yes, I'm going to face trials in this life, but gratitude is what drives the bus for me in this life. If I can stay in an attitude of gratitude, then things are going to go well because my focus is on Jesus.
Ed: Yeah, and I would agree with that. Gratitude always tends to take me back to the Lord because when I don't know what else to give thanks for, the four things I was taught is to give thanks for are Jesus, the blood, the Word of God and the Holy Spirit. And usually that's how I'll start my gratitude portion of my prayer time with going through those four things and just talking to the Lord. Then throughout the day, when I want to change the atmosphere of my inside world, I just start thanking the Lord. And if I can’t think of anything new, I can always go back to those four things and end up with my focus on the Lord. And when your focus is on the Lord, it's not going to be on self or serving self.
Ryan used porn and drugs to escape emotional pain. But when something terrifying happened at a party, he was determined to find freedom.
Ryan's childhood home was full of arguing, tension and chaos. In order to escape from his painful reality, he turned to porn, drugs and alcohol. But he found out soon enough that these only made him far more miserable. Then, something terrifying happened to him at a party one night, and that was it. He was determined to get real help.
In the final episode of our series "Ashes to Beauty", we'll talk about why being ruled by God brings so much peace to our hearts and homes.
If you and your spouse are walking down the path laid out by Jesus in the Beatitudes, something wonderful is on the horizon. From the ashes of sexual sin's destruction will rise something new and beautiful. Where sin once reigned with terrible fury, God will rule over your hearts and home with a powerful sense of peace. This is the final episode of our series, Ashes to Beauty. You don't want to miss it!
Seeking fulfillment in earthly things is futile. But if we seek fulfillment in God Himself, He will meet our deepest needs.
Human beings have a deep need for fulfillment. It's how God made us. But things go horribly wrong when we seek satisfaction in earthly things. We end up becoming dependent on, maybe even addicted to, things that cannot satisfy us. But if we will seek our fulfillment in God Himself, we'll find that He can do what nothing else can. That’s why seeking fulfillment in God is one of the key lessons on the road to freedom.
Seeking fulfillment in earthly things is futile. But if we seek fulfillment in God Himself, He will meet our deepest needs.
Human beings have a deep need for fulfillment. It's how God made us. But things go horribly wrong when we seek satisfaction in earthly things. We end up becoming dependent on, maybe even addicted to, things that cannot satisfy us. But if we will seek our fulfillment in God Himself, we'll find that He can do what nothing else can. That’s why seeking fulfillment in God is one of the key lessons on the road to freedom.
After sexual sin, it can seem like an enormous task to re-establish good communication and intimacy in the marriage bed. But God is able!
When a husband truly repents of sexual sin, most couples are ready to put all of that behind them and to enjoy a new life. But they soon find that there are other huge areas of their marriage that still need God's powerful touch. In today’s show, we'll talk about two of the biggest: healthy communication and intimacy in the marriage bed.
This world is a spiritual warzone. But if we will stay close to our victorious Jesus, He will give us the strength to win our battles.
As long as we are living in this world, we are going to be engaged in a spiritual war. As A.W. Tozer said, this world is not a playground, it is a battleground. But if we will stay close to the captain of our faith, the victorious Jesus, He will give us the strength to win our battles.
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