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Have you been devastated by the pain and rejection of an unfaithful husband?
Pure Life Ministries has been helping wives deal with the pain of unfaithful husbands for over 35 years. Whether your husband’s problem is pornography, an adulterous affair, soliciting prostitutes, or even secretly struggling with homosexuality…we can help you.
Each one of the Wives Program counselors have traversed this dark valley herself. Because she has lived through the pain, anger and confusion of this ordeal, she is prepared to be a compassionate and trustworthy friend for the counselee who needs support. Her personal experience gives her the ability to be a godly influence for the woman who is navigating her way through the maze of issues involved. Her own personal testimony gives her the insight and faith to show the counselee what God can do through this trying time.
Our counselors will offer the kind of sound, objective and loving advice needed during such a difficult situation.
The discovery of a husband’s secret sin can often lead to overwhelming confusion. One minute a wife might be full of anger and revulsion, but the next minute feel pity for her husband and hope for her marriage. To complicate matters, many wives face a barrage of opinions from well-meaning friends and family members about how to handle this crisis, often leaving them feeling more lost and bewildered.
The worst thing a woman can do when such huge issues are at stake is to make decisions concerning her future based solely on emotions or the opinions of others. More than anything else, she needs to hear from the Lord. He alone has the perfect answers for her dilemma. Our female biblical counselors know how to help the woman discover God’s will for her specific situation.
Pure Life Ministries has a long history of helping the wives of sexual addicts. In 1986, a brokenhearted wife named Rebecca asked Kathy Gallagher for help. All she needed was someone who cared, understood her dilemma and could assist her in making biblically-sound decisions. Her life with God came alive, her husband repented and our ministry to wives was birthed. Since that time, hundreds of women have found similar help with their marriages.
Download an application (see the Get Started section below).
Instructions for submitting the application are included in the application packet.
You have 2 payment options when you submit your application:
Call 888-740-8825 to pay over the phone
Send in a check by mail with your application
You may choose to pay your program fees up front, or in three payments, as follows: $360 at the start and $260 before sessions 5 and 9. Those who prepay the entire amount will receive a $65 discount.
Your materials arrive in plain packaging and will include instructions for setting up your initial counseling appointment. These typically arrive within 10-15 business days after we receive your application.
If there is a waiting list for the Wives program, you will be notified by our Wives Coordinator.
Each week you will complete assigned homework and have a 45 minute counseling call.
These homework assignments are designed to give you a firm foundation in the Lord, anchoring you in his peace and freeing you from the captivity of your emotions and the uncertainty of the future.
Your counselor will help you navigate the crisis in your marriage by keeping your eyes fixed on the Lord— just as they've had to do themselves.
Click the link in the Get Started section below to go to the application portal.
Follow the instructions there.
You have the following payment options when you submit your application:
You may pay online through our website payment page: https://www.purelifeministries.org/payments
If you are unable to pay online, you may call Customer Service at 859-813-1558 or mail a check with the applicant's name clearly indicated
You may choose to pay your program fees up front, or in three payments, as follows: $360 at the start and $260 before sessions 5 and 9. Those who prepay the entire amount will receive a $65 discount.
Your materials arrive in plain packaging and will include instructions for setting up your initial counseling appointment. These typically arrive within 10-15 business days after we receive your application.
If there is a waiting list for the Wives program, you will be notified by our Wives Coordinator.
Each week you will complete assigned homework and have a 45 minute counseling call.
These homework assignments are designed to give you a firm foundation in the Lord, anchoring you in his peace and freeing you from the captivity of your emotions and the uncertainty of the future.
Your counselor will help you navigate the crisis in your marriage by keeping your eyes fixed on the Lord— just as they've had to do themselves.
NOTE: If you are applying from outside the United States or Canada, please email customer_service@purelifeministries.org to request an application.
First, let me say this: God hears your cries.
These same words were spoken to me 12 years ago. I was at a women’s retreat and met a woman who could fully relate to the situation I was in. She also had cycled through her husband's sexual sin with him, but she had found deep healing from years of pain and anguish. I wanted so desperately to believe her words, but years of profound disappointment in the reality of my marriage left me trapped in a hopeless longing to be loved. ...
For almost 40 years I had been cycling through my husband's destructive patterns of sexual sin. I trust that you can imagine how wounded, alone and grieved I had become over such a long and painful journey. I had read every book about sexual addiction that I could get my hands on. We had attended several national conferences on purity and marriage and participated in intense marriage recovery weekends. I had exhausted every resource and every avenue of help that I could find—except for one—Pure Life Ministries. My husband refused to go, maintaining that there was "too much to lose"...his job, our insurance, time away from the family, etc.
In October of 2017 he lost it all anyway. He was fired from his job for viewing porn at work. I asked him to leave. I was done with the decades long battle of trying to get him to lay down something he was determined to keep. That's when God brought me to the reality that I had been battling my husband's sin for over 35 years. My husband had not. It was time for me to lay this battle down and leave the work and the result to God. I filed for divorce. I cannot tell you how difficult this was to do. I was scared. I was empty. I was numb. BUT I did trust God, and I promised Him I would wait and let Him clarify my future relationship with my husband.
Facing an impending divorce, my husband informed me that he had enrolled in the Residential Program at Pure Life Ministries. I knew this was God's hand on my husband, but at this point, I didn't have the faith to believe that our marriage could be restored because I didn't have any confidence that my husband would do the work of repentance. God began whispering to me that my faith had to be solely in Him.
I reluctantly enrolled in the At-Home Program for Wives, but it wasn't long before God made it obvious that He had put my counselor and I together for such a time as this. She was always willing to listen. She was appropriately compassionate, yet firm in leading me to the truth of God’s Word. She was my friend. She was a comrade. She provided enough light for me to see the next step I needed to take in this confusing and painful season.
I cannot begin to tell you the impact this program had on my heart. It met me right where I was.
The first thing I was led to consider in this program was the sovereignty of God. 40 years’ worth of handling disappointment in an ungodly manner had left me in a cycle of woundedness, bitterness, resentment, and eventually, apathy toward my husband. But if I truly believed God is sovereign, then handling disappointment in a godly way meant embracing it as "His appointment"—His way of teaching me tough lessons that I wouldn't be able to learn in any other way. Grasping this truth set me up for success in opening my heart to the deeper things that God wanted me to evaluate in the program. I began to understand that God was going to shine His light on some very ugly and very painful realities in my heart, but also that His motive would only be to shine the brighter light on the path that leads toward my healing.
For many years I had believed that my husband's sin was responsible for my deepest pain. But God tenderly and patiently began helping me unravel decades of woundedness so I could learn things about myself that I had only skimmed the surface of in times past. He showed me how I had developed a craving for love as a small child. How ungodly motives had stealthily grown in the midst of godly motives as I tried to serve the Lord. And how the only way out of all of the pain of my marriage was to redefine who God is in my heart and ultimately redefine who I am in Him.
The schooling of God was so powerful in my life throughout the program. The next area I had to confront was the pride in my own life. Through one of the resources, my eyes were opened, and I began to see areas of sinful pride in my heart that had gone undetected. I learned how to define pride, how to detect it, and finally, how to go to war against it every day in order to eradicate it with God's true humility.
God has done and is doing a great work in me through Pure Life Ministries. I have re-established a firm foundation of who God is in His sovereignty. He has redefined who He is in my heart and who I am in His. He has set me free from wounds that I thought I would have to drag to my grave. He has walked through the work of repentance with me in the areas of disappointment, unforgiveness, bitterness, self-righteous pride, jealousy and comparison. He has redefined for me what true meekness is—the controlled power of God in me—given as a gift of the Holy Spirit.
I am experiencing such a deep sense of freedom and peace and a greater intimacy with Jesus than I have ever experienced before. I'm so, so grateful. With God's loving guidance, I am beginning to experience peace, joy and a freedom from fear that is no longer conditional to how my husband is doing.
I now believe with all my heart in the words of my precious friend, "He hears your cries!” My prayer is that you would trust God, take your steps and let Him do the same for you.
Trusting Him, Debbie Apple
Psalm 34:17-19 “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.”
