In this week’s sermon, we will be unveiling the wisdom of the Cross.
This episode: We look at fasting—why it will help you battle porn, doing it with a right heart, and how to incorporate it into your life.
In the latest sermon, our speakers unpack several biblical texts to unveil Yahweh as Redeemer.
This episode: In this podcast we'll give a biblical answer to the question: "What role does accountability play in overcoming sexual sin?"
In this bonus discussion, Michael Wheaton expounds on the methods he uses to study the Bible.
In this bonus segment, Nate sits down with biblical counselor Michael Wheaton to discuss some methods he uses to study the Bible.
--
Methods we discussed:
---
Resources we mentioned:
In Hosea, a stunning picture emerges. God's deep desire in our pain is not to destroy us, but to open a doorway into hope.
When God visits a person’s sin in judgment, their lives begin to unravel. Frustration builds to misery, then gives way to despair, and often, finally collapses into ruin. But in Hosea 2, an astonishing picture emerges. God's deepest desire is not to destroy sinners, but to use the pain of judgment to open a doorway into total restoration.
Jordan's Story (Testimony) by Jordan Yoshimine
At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry (Book) by Steve Gallagher
The kind of self-control that can withstand times of temptation is a fruit of the Spirit that can only come from God.
A couple of months ago we recorded a series of podcasts entitled, "Key Lessons on the Road to Freedom." In this portion of an interview that comes from episode 4 of that series, Ed Buch explains the difference between self-effort, which has no power to give someone real victory, and self-control, a fruit of the Spirit that will bring real freedom. We can often confuse the two when trying to avoid harmful and addictive behaviors. But true self-control that can withstand temptation can only come from God. (from Podcast Episode #512 - Fight in God's Strength)
Nate: I think that anybody who's lived with any kind of life controlling behavior is going to agree that a big part of them finding freedom was learning how to control themselves. And probably anybody, no matter how they're approaching the idea of addiction is going to say that self-control is a big part of overcoming the problem, right? Even if they totally disagree with us about the spiritual roots being pride and selfishness, they're still going to say, “man, these people need to learn how to control themselves.” That's where I want to start today, and I just want to throw this out there. You have been in the counseling office with a lot of people and I'm sure that many of them have said, “I've tried, and I just don't know how to stop doing these things.” So, what do you think is the most common reason that these men have not learned to control themselves?
Ed: Well, the first thing I think that we need to understand is that self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. That’s the kind of self-control at least that Pure Life is talking about. And that’s what will really withstand times of temptation. That is a character quality that only the Lord can produce in a person's life. So, to be perfectly honest, I would say that the reason so many of the men that we get in our counseling programs have lacked that self-control is really because they either have no genuine relationship with the Lord at all, or they have had such a shallow relationship or a backsliding relationship with the Lord that self-control has never come into maturity in their life. And so, the experience that they end up having is a cycle of repeated failure. They throw themselves into fighting out of addiction with all their strength, all their might and all their self-effort. And that repeated failure from trying to exercise self-control in their own strength just leads them to give up, and in a sense, failure itself has convinced them that they can't do it.
I will say this too because I think there's probably something else involved for many people. Our default responses to sin are classic defense mechanisms. We deny it, we minimize it, we justify it, we hide it, or we shift blame for it. But in every case, whichever one of those mechanisms might be in play, a person is essentially denying the sinfulness of their sin. As long as our response to sin is to deny its sinfulness, we'll find that self-control remains very elusive. We are not really going to try very hard to overcome it if it's not such a big deal to us. And the bottom line then becomes that we have no control over it because we're still pretty much in love with it. We are at least in love with the pleasure aspect of it.
Nate: Yeah, I think that's really good to bring to the forefront because essentially if a person has genuinely repented, then they have done the opposite of what you've just said. They finally have really taken this to heart, and they've owned the seriousness of it and said, “I'm wrong. This is all me.” Once they do that they can actually move into the place where they have access to the fruit of the spirit.
{{blog-bwalk="/blog-ads-storage"}}
Ed: That's right. And they're crying out for help and then they'll find the help that they need.
Nate: Yea. So, how often have you found that a person who's sitting across the desk from you, one of the reasons that they don't have that self-control is because they just want to pick and choose what areas they want to be controlled in and what areas they don't want to be controlled in.
Ed: My first thought when I hear you say that is that that happens when I'm sitting alone in my office, because we all tend to do that. It's our default response to sort of pick and choose the areas where we're willing to be disciplined. And then we have those areas where we honestly would prefer that God would just leave us alone about. So, for me, the core issue is surrendering to the Lord and that is a pretty universal problem. Practically everyone we counsel is having a major difficulty with this issue. We don't immediately want to surrender our whole life to the Lord, nor do we want to fully surrender our will to the Lord. So, we often try to negotiate our terms of surrender. And in many cases, as I kind of alluded to a moment ago, I think it's because we aren't ready and willing to give up certain activities or pleasures that we're indulging in.
We love freedom and we just aren't willing to let go of what we think is our freedom or our right to do as we please. We may want God to absolve us from guilt or fix any of the damaging consequences, but we really don't want to do things His way. I once heard an expression that kind of sums up the mindset of most people and it was something like, “Until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change, you won't change.” We won't go through the difficult and painful process of change until it's actually more painful for us to resist that change.
That's the kind of thinking that many of us can be in. And even the Bible acknowledges that sin is pleasurable for a season, but eventually that season ends. So, it's like what we read in Romans 1. The Lord often has to give us over to the consequences of our sinful choices and let that pleasurable season run its course until we realize that those sinful behaviors are just not worth it anymore to us. And of course, in that process of being given over like that, we've gotten further and further away from the Lord. We’ve gotten more immersed in the kingdom of darkness and have heaped many more damaging consequences than we even realized, and we've made the process of changing our behavior much more difficult and painful than it needed to be.
How can we find the confidence to return to God after terrible sin? When we comprehend this glorious truth about God: He is FULL of mercy.
When you know that you've sinned terribly against God, where do you find the confidence to go back to Him? How can you know that He will be willing to receive you? Today we'll look at two passages that shed light on one of the most precious truths about God: He is full of mercy toward anyone who will repent.
Lives that aren't built on God's Word will come crashing down. In our newest podcast series, we inspire and equip you to study God's Word.
George Barna recently reported that over 75 percent of Americans read the Bible once a month or less. According to Jesus, that is a recipe for spiritual devastation. Join us for our newest series, where you will be inspired and equipped to begin a life of studying God's precious word!
Because of His humility, the Lord condescends to a people who have polluted themselves with sin and teaches them to walk in His humble ways.
When we think of the attributes of God we often think of things like His Holiness, His righteousness, and His omniscience. The thing that hardly every gets mentioned as an attribute of God is His humility. But that humility is what motivates Him to love us, even in our sin and failure. (from Podcast Episode #469 - Don't Stop Fighting for Humility)
Nate: I touched on this a little in part 1 of this interview, and you did too: God Himself is humble. That still boggles my mind because that's so different from what I'm like by nature. And Jesus said this, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matthew 11:28-29) This is the most powerful, most intelligent, and most wise being imaginable and He is lowly in heart. It's just astounding. When you look at His earthly life, where do you see His humility the most?
Steve: Humility is almost like a non-thing. So, I almost want to say, instead of Him saying, “I am lowly in heart,” or, “I am humble,” He is more saying, “there is no pride in me.” So, it’s like he is saying, “because there's no pride in me, come unto me.” But yeah, the Lord just doesn't have anything in Him that wants to exalt himself at someone else's expense or anything like that. The opposite is the devil. Self-exaltation is what he lives in.
Nate: I was just talking to one of the students in the Residential Program last night and he told me this story that was really amazing. He said that at one time in his life, he told the Lord, if you were here right now before me, I would spit in your face. I don't want you telling me how to run my life. And he said, The Lord said, “And I would still love you.” And that shattered him. And he said, if that's what you're like, I'll spend the rest of my life serving you.
Steve: The only thing I would say about that is that the Lord knew that was the thing that would shatter him. But if he did not reveal His majesty and His almighty power to people, most wouldn't even pay any attention to Him. They have to see Him in fear first and then, as they come to know Him, eventually their hearts do dissolve and they do humble themselves and come to love Him because of what He's like. But it usually must begin with the sight of His fearsome majesty and power. That's where most people have to begin.
{{blog-brse="/blog-ads-storage"}}
Nate: Yeah. That's what it was for me. I want to park on this still and just talk about God's humility a little bit more because when somebody says, “Let's talk about the attributes of God,” there's always a list that comes to mind. His love, His righteousness, His holiness, and His omniscience. There are all these attributes, but I don't know that I had ever heard someone mention humility in that list before I came to Pure Life. So, I want to bring more of that out. God says this in Isaiah chapter 57, “For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: ‘I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with Him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit.” (Isaiah 57:15a ESV) What other ways do you see God's humility revealed?
Steve: Before I answer that question, I would like to comment on that verse you just quoted from Isaiah. We did a Bible study as a staff body a few weeks ago on fellowshipping with the Lord and when I think of fellowship, I believe that one can only fellowship with people at the level they are at. So, a brand-new Christian is going to be on a pretty shallow level of fellowship. Whereas seasoned saints can really fellowship on a deep level. So, when you think about the Lord wanting to reside with someone, be with someone, be in their presence, who He wants to be with is someone who's on His level - not that we could ever be on His level. But what I mean is someone who's contrite of heart, whose self-life has been delivered blow after blow to the point where that person truly does walk in humility. The Lord says that's the one I want to be around. That just came to me as you were reciting that verse.
Nate: Yea. Because the other side of that is that He wants to dwell with that person because that's what He's like. You could say that God is contrite and lowly in spirit. I don’t mean contrite in the sense that He needs to repent of anything, but He's like that. Can we talk a little more about this? What are other ways that you see God's humility being revealed?
Steve: In everything. He’s given us the Bible. He’s given us a world to live in. He is willing to share so much with us. Compared with Him we are such puny, nothing beings and so full of ourselves. Yet He still condescends to us. Everything that God does comes out of His humility. Otherwise, why would He even bother with things as deplorable as us, when we’ve completely trashed and polluted ourselves with sin, self, and pride? Why would He? Or I should say, how could He? only because of the utter absence of pride in His being.
Nate: Wow, that is amazing. It just shows you love and humility are really the same thing.
Steve: One and the same.
Nate: You know, one of the things that God speaks to us about in His Word is that pride comes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. So, as a person is really repenting of sexual sin and coming into this new life of victory, I see in that, that the devil doesn't necessarily have to blatantly tempt us with sexual sin. He can tempt us in more subtle ways because he knows if he can get us into pride, then it's just inevitable that we are going to fall in some way. So, I'd like to give people some things to look at as far as common ways that the devil tempts us back into pride so that we can be aware of it and keep walking in humility.
Steve: Well, you can't be in sexual sin without being in pride. It's not possible. They go hand in hand. So, a person who has been in habitual sin of any kind has been in habitual high-mindedness as well. So, if they're coming out of sexual sin, they are also coming down out of pride at some level. But not that much. It takes a long time and a lot of work on God's part to bring a person down. It’s not like they somehow repent of sexual sin and now they're a lowly, contrite person. But they have probably gone through some experience of brokenness. So when you're in that state of brokenness, that is poverty of spirit and that is lowliness. But reality also tells me having dealt with so many people over the years that people don’t always continue to walk in lowliness once they begin. The first steps of brokenness and poverty of spirit is an experience that helps one see where the Lord wants to take them.
So this person has probably had their self-life and their pride delivered a real blow. And what the enemy will try to do is find ways to get this person to succumb to opportunities to bolster their ego. And it's usually at the expense of someone else. So maybe someone will come at them with something, and the temptation will be to go into the old attack mode. Or maybe they find an opportunity to shine at church or wherever, so they puff themselves up. It's endless the different ways the enemy can come at us and draw us back into that same kind of devilish thinking. But you know, the Lord is there to help us and especially once we start recognizing it, then we can say, “Wait a minute. I'm not going down that path.” And the Lord will help us to walk away from that opportunity.
Nate: And what an amazing graciousness in the heart of Jesus that He even uses our failures to humble us.
Steve: Yeah. To bring good to us. It's another picture of His lowliness that He would even think that way.
When someone claims that they don't have anyone to help them in their distress, how often is that true? And what should they do if it is?
In times of extreme need, people often claim that they have no one to help them. But how often is that actually true, and how often is that just a feeling? And what do you do if you really don’t have anyone who is willing to help you? If you’re feeling like you have no support in your current situation, this episode is for you.
In "Stephen and Kelly's Story of Hope," we see that the light of Christ shines with incredible brightness in times of greatest darkness.
There is no doubt that sexual sin and betrayal brings men and women into long seasons of terrible darkness. But Jesus is the light of the world! In this episode, Stephen and Kelly Hauck share very openly about their past life of sin and suffering to show that in times of greatest darkness, the light of Christ shines with incredible brightness.
From Ashes to Beauty (Book) by Jeff Colón
The Day it all Fell Apart (Short Video) by Pure Life Ministries
We must have a level of humility to approach the Lord, because He is a holy, magnificent and awesome being.
God is humble by nature. And when He came to the earth as a man, He lived a life completely absent of pride. But this means that God utterly detests pride as well. So if we want to approach Him, we must value and cultivate humility in ourselves. This teaching is foundational here at Pure Life Ministries. We hope that anyone seeking to overcome sexual sin, or any life-dominating sinful habit, will see the value of humility in combating sin. (from Podcast Episode #469 - Don't Stop Fighting for Humility)
Nate: So, Pastor Steve, we want to talk about humility. Humility is so important because God makes it clear in His Word that He, because of His lowliness and His humility, is repulsed by pride. So that creates a barrier between Him and someone who is proud. If we're going to be Christians, humility is absolutely essential. It's a condition for fellowship with this humble God. But it can be hard for us because humility is not easily defined. So, the first thing that we want to talk about is how to know if someone is humble. What things do you look for in a person's life to say, “I believe this is a humble man or woman?”
Steve: Well, I don't tend to look at people and even think that, but let me just say a couple things about humility. I think maybe the reason why it's hard to define is because it's a negative to something, meaning that it is not pride. Pride is something. The negative of that is the absence of pride. So, what is pride? Well, pride is self-importance, and it comes from the self-life. So, the stronger the self-life, the more pride there is, and pride is the aspect of the self-life that protects the ego.
{{blog-brse="/blog-ads-storage"}}
Pride is like a watchdog that is going to protect its ego no matter what. And if it has the opportunity, it's going to do that by rising up and making itself look better than other people around it. If it feels threatened then it's going to attack the perceived threat. Now first of all, to know God, we have to humble ourselves. We have to have a level of humility to even approach Him because He is such a magnificent, awesome being and He is humble by nature. So, when you think of the devil and how he rose up against God, that is pride and that's the spirit of the enemy. That's why God abhors it: it's coming against Him. So, like I said, I don't go hunting to see who is in pride, but when someone's a prideful person, I can't help but see when it comes out.
Nate: That's interesting when you think about the life of Jesus, because when it comes to either protecting self or rising up in pride against other people, you don't ever see that coming out of His life.
Steve: No. Never. He lived His life always with the mindset of wanting to do for others even at His own expense. Even when you see Him go on that rant so to speak in Matthew 23 against the Pharisees, that wasn't to one up them, or get over on them, or come out as the one that's right, or any of those underlying, sinful, human motives that we usually have. That was for one thing only. It was to protect other people from their ugly pride and the false system of religion that they had set up in Judaism. And that rant, so to speak, has been there for 2000 years for everyone to see the things that Jesus called out that we don't want to see in Christianity.
Nate: And maybe even to reach some of them.
Steve: Yeah. Some of them did come to the Lord eventually. So maybe it began on that day. Maybe He was putting His finger on something that they couldn’t squirm out from under. Maybe the conviction of the Lord and His truth was stirring something up inside of them. And then after Pentecost, maybe they were some of those priests that actually came to the Lord.
Nate: One of the things that really resonates with me when I listen to people's testimonies about coming to the Lord is when they say something like, “Pride has just been my nemesis even after coming to the Lord.” They’ll talk about just how natural it is to be proud. And I can attest to the fact. Without the Lord's help, the world I live in is the world of pride. You've been working with people for over 40 years. You have a lot of experience watching God's dealings with people as He's teaching them how to live a life of humility. Could you give us two big categories of things that God uses to help people live the life of lowliness.
Steve: Yes. I would say one is through teaching, and another is through the Lord's direct intervention in a person's life. I think teaching is always His default. He wants to see people come into humble living and He wants to develop in a person the sense of value for humility. He wants them to feel inside that it would be so much better for them, and certainly for those around them, if they would learn to be more humble.
If a person can learn to value humility, they can start seeking God for it, saying, “Please bring me down. Help me not to rise up in pride. Help me to walk in humility.” God’s first desire is that someone can seek after humility in that way. If that doesn't work then sometimes He will revert to stronger measures. There's nothing like affliction and suffering to humble a person, and I've had plenty of both. I just thank God for it now. Some of the things I've gone through that really humbled me when nothing else would mean everything to me now. So yeah, of course God has other things in His arsenal to humble a person, but I would say those are the two main things He uses.
Nate: Yeah, it's like when we tenderize meat. Sometimes our hearts just need the hammer.
Steve: Yeah, it's definitely true that we need our hearts to be constantly tenderized because they harden up so quickly in the self-life.
Nate: Yeah, like you said, in the middle of the humbling it's so hard and it feels awful, but it's so precious in retrospect because you realize what God is doing for you.
Steve: That's right – if your heart's right. But how many people have gone through stuff like that and they come out on the other end of it bitter? They can even be bitter towards the Lord when the Lord is just trying to help them. But all I know is I’m grateful myself for what He's done to help me.
Nate: Can you think of someone in the scriptures where you can see that happening over a period of time?
Steve: Well, there are lots of examples. There was Joseph in prison. The Lord had to humble him before he was going to rise into such a position of prominence. Saul the Pharisee got a sight of Jesus the lowly one that absolutely devastated him because his whole life had been built on self-righteousness and looking down on other people. And that just came collapsing down in that one vision of Jesus. There was also Moses who was so prideful in Pharaoh's palace. He was humbled throughout his entire lifetime. He had become self-righteous and that drove him to killing an Egyptian soldier. So he had to go out into the desert for 40 years. And really, 40 years out in the wilderness after the palace life will humble you. There are many stories I could allude to, but those are a couple of examples.
Nate: As you talk about those things it's helpful for me because I realize that this is God's way of dealing with us. It's not even punishment in a certain sense. It's His loving, fatherly discipline, which we all need.
Steve: Yeah, it's not punishment at all when it’s a believer He is dealing with. It's totally remedial. He wants to help them get better because pride destroys, and it just makes us ugly and ruins everything we touch. It's only God's goodness that causes Him to step in and help us come down.
Any concept of grace that makes us more comfortable sinning is not biblical grace.
When the Apostle Peter urged Christians to stand fast in the true grace of God, he implied that there is a false grace that we must avoid. We are living in a culture that is saturated with sensuality and perversion. We don't need a grace that leaves us unforgiven, unsaved and unchanged. We need something real, something full of life and power. In this episode, we play a sermon by Steve Gallagher where he shows us what true grace is, and what it's not.
There are radical differences between what secular psychology and Biblical Christianity have to say about addiction.
In this episode, we're going to ask the question: "Should Christians Use the Word Addiction?" To help answer that question, Dr. Daniel Berger helps us understand what the culture means by addiction and whether or not the Bible gives credence to those ideas.
The ultimate authority in our lives needs to be the Word of God and not the way we feel or think.
In part two of our discussion on living by faith and not feelings, Nate and Austin discuss how the Word of God needs to be the ultimate authority in our lives. If we put our trust in the character of God and His Word, we will be able to live by faith and not feelings. If you haven't already read part one of this discussion you can do so by clicking the link below. (from Podcast Episode # 510 - Live By Faith, Not Feelings | Key Lessons on the Road to Freedom)
Nate: Let’s continue our discussion on living by faith and not feelings. I've thought quite a bit about living by faith because I'm the same way as you Austin. There have been some powerful feelings that have tried to hinder me from really following the Lord. At times I would make some gains, like, “Okay, I'm living by faith. I'm not going to live by my feelings.” But then I would just inadvertently slip back into living by my feelings. After some time I would realize, “Wait a second, I've got to live by faith.” So, there were just times of gains and times of regression. It took a lot of effort. And I've definitely learned some lessons. I'd be interested to hear what you would say about the need to have some absolutes. If I'm going to live by faith, what are some absolute things I need to know about? What would you say some foundational lessons are that you had to learn?
Austin: I would say there are about three things that I had to learn that were foundational. The first one is probably a bit counterintuitive if you're thinking about faith. A lot of what we hear is that we have to put on faith and be bold in our faith. But I've found for myself, that it is foundational to persevere in a lifestyle of repentance. And the reason is that at the cosmic level, God is trying to give us as believers something valuable, but the enemy is trying to allure us away from receiving from the Lord by exploiting our tendency to live by our natural senses.
So, there's this war inside that causes me to need to continually be purified in my attitudes, motives, loves, and affections. They constantly need to be purified and turned toward the Lord until Jesus is what I love, desire, and treasure, not the things of this world. Because if that's not the case, I won't have any faith for what God is trying to give me. Why would I put faith in something that I don't even want? Why would I persevere past feelings for something that isn't even valuable to me? So, continuing to walk in a lifestyle repentance is foundational.
{{blog-bwalk="/blog-ads-storage"}}
The second thing is that, now that my heart is being purified, I really do need to put my trust in the character of God. That is a choice. Faith is not something that's just going to happen on its own. It's something that takes an active choice. That choice needs to be very much intentional. The ability to trust in God hinges on my attitude towards the Word of God, because the Word of God is how I know who God is. That is the bedrock of truth for me. If the Word of God doesn't have absolute authority in my life, then I will find myself compromising here and there and thinking that God doesn't really stand faithful in certain areas of my life. Or I might look at a certain aspect of my life and think that God isn't there for me in that way. All of those kind of cynical thoughts and feelings slowly eat away at our faith. So we really have to have a confidence in the Word of God that reveals the character of God to us in a deep way.
I would say that the third thing is choosing to praise the Lord, even in difficult circumstances. I talk about the choice to praise the Lord with every single person I counsel. Choosing to praise the Lord and choosing to give gratitude is so foundational to persevering in a life of faith. It keeps your eyes off yourself and your circumstances and keeps the Lord front and center.
Nate: That's good. When I was preparing this interview, there was a passage in 1 Peter that came to mind and I'm going to paraphrase it. It’s in 1 Peter 1. Peter is basically saying that you have a living hope and you have an inheritance in heaven that's incorruptible. And maybe you've been grieved by various trials, but that's only because you need them so that your faith will come out like pure gold, and it will result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus, whom not having seen, you love. What hit me is that when we're talking about faith, our faith is supposed to be all wrapped up and intertwined with knowing Jesus and reveling in Jesus and worshiping Jesus. I guess I wanted to close this segment by giving you a chance to just testify about Jesus. Something that has become real to you or something that has become precious to you about Jesus as you've been learning to walk by faith.
Austin: It is a walk that is tested and there are various trials, and there is a testing by fire that's going on and I've experienced that in my life. But Jesus in the midst of that has been so faithful and I'm so thankful to Him that He is the one who's in charge of my sanctification in that process. I'm so thankful that He keeps the vision when I lose it. When I'm overwhelmed in the midst of that wilderness and that trial and that fire, He knows what He's doing. He's been so faithful to me in that. He always brings me back to the fact that He is purifying me. He's purifying me to be His bride, to live with Him and to love Him. And even when I don't feel it, I need to come back to worshiping Him, giving Him my affections, and giving Him my love by telling Him with my words and my actions, even when I don't feel it, that I love Him. That’s what I really love about Jesus, that He keeps bringing me back to seeing His faithfulness.
Nate: That's so awesome. And anybody who walks this thing out is going to have their own testimony about Jesus. It's not just learning some tips about how to be a good Christian; it's about knowing Him. And He will reveal Himself in ways that are very precious and in ways that it becomes ours.
.jpeg)
.jpg)
