If you’ve been around sexual addiction recovery for any length of time, you’ve probably heard someone say: "Once an addict, always an addict." Is that really true, or is that just another half-truth that keeps people addicted to pornography? In today’s show, Steve Gallagher looks at some of the core beliefs of the 12-step systems of recovery, and then compares those with what the Bible teaches about overcoming sin. Plus, one of our staff members shares why he can say (after 17 years of freedom), "I am no longer an addict!"

Resources

• 20 Truths that Helped Me in My Battle with Porn Addiction (Bible Study) by Steve Gallagher

God is good, which means that He wants nothing less than the best for us. But it also means that He won't be satisfied until we are fully mature men and women of God. That's what we'll look at in this "Timeless Truths" segment.

Host: Rose Colón has joined me in the studio. Rose as we continue our discussions on Living in Victory, we want to talk today about the subject, “God is not satisfied.” And we'll get into a little bit about what we mean by that. But let's start off by talking about this. So often, especially in Western culture, we have this idea that Christianity is solely about accepting Jesus into our hearts. And then unfortunately, we go on thinking we can just live life however we want to live it, in whatever condition we're in. But that certainly isn't what we find true in the Word of God, is it?

Rose: No. When we come to the Lord, we're little babes, but the Lord wants us to grow. You don't leave a little baby in that state. You give a baby what it needs to be able to grow and mature into a young man or young woman. So, there's that continual growing process that should be happening in believers’ lives when they first come to the Lord.

Host: As we see in a natural sense, we also see in the spiritual sense as well.

Rose: Right. And sometimes when we come to the Lord, we come with the mindset of, “I'm a sinner and I know I need to be saved.” But we stay there in that infant stage. We don't grow and mature into what God wants to bring us into.

Host: For those who are listening, who may have started out their Christianity that way, let’s lay out three stages of a believer's life to give our listeners an idea of what the goal may be. First, what might we see in the life of a new believer.

Rose: Usually when a new believer comes to the Lord, they have not been in the Word of God and they don't have a prayer life. So, they have to start from ground zero. They need to at least begin to see their need to be in God's Word to let the Word of God speak to their hearts and teach them His ways. The Word of God instructs us. It teaches us. It shows us where we're wrong. And it's very important when we first come to the Lord to establish that habit of being in the Word of God every day and allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to our hearts, cleanse our hearts and instruct our hearts. Then we need to develop a prayer life.
         Also, when we first come to the Lord, getting plugged into a good church and fellowshipping with other believers is very important. And we need to learn to cut off old things from our past life. Maybe the old friends we used to hang out with or places we used to go. There's a form of outward obedience that we need to start participating in.

{{blog-bwalk="/blog-ads-storage"}}

Host: Amen. Let's look at a second level of what might be seen in the life of a more mature believer.

Rose: For someone that is more mature in the Lord, you will see them getting out of themselves more. What I mean by that is that they are entering into the needs of others. They may be looking to see how they can volunteer in a nursing home or in a hospital or do a kind act. Something to get them out of their own little lives. You should see fruit like that coming forth in a believer's life once they've matured in the things of God. They will begin realizing that their life is not all about them, it's about others and their needs being met.
         Also, there should be the fruit of the Spirit coming forth in this person's life. Let's say for example, they have an anger problem, and they are just constantly exploding in anger. Maybe their even seeing how it’s destroying relationships around them. Well they should be wanting the Lord to deal with that anger in their hearts and they should be confessing it and repenting of it. So, instead of focusing on outward things like the new believer, now they are letting the Lord come into their heart and deal with those inner attitudes. God does this because He wants to transform us or mold us into the image of Christ and help us produce the fruit of the Spirit.
         In addition, after we have been walking with the Lord for some time, there should be a greater intimacy growing in our love for the Lord and our love for the things of God. We should be learning to love those things that He loves and hate those things that He hates.

Host: Amen. Ok, let's describe the third and final level here. For a truly mature Christian, what will we see in their life?

Rose: I believe the main thing you're going to see in their life is humility. This reality begins settling in to them, “Apart from God, I am nothing. Apart from God, I can do nothing. Apart from God, I don't have anything.”

Host: A genuine poverty of spirit.

Rose: Yes, a genuine poverty of spirit and a life that is totally consecrated to the Lord where they are totally separated from the world, the love of the world, and they don't want anything this world has to offer. They are so caught up with Jesus and His kingdom and they desire for Jesus to have a greater place in their heart where He is living His life through them.

Host: Yes. And it might sound strange to some people to hear this, but a truly mature believer is going to be walking in the presence of God. Some people may have never even considered being able to walk in the presence of God.

Rose: Right. And I've seen it in the lives of other men and women of God that have been walking with the Lord for 40 plus years. They walk with God. They bring the presence of God with them wherever they go. And when they speak, you just hear Jesus coming out of their mouths. You don't even see the person. You just see the Lord because the presence of the Lord is so evident in their lives.

Host: And this isn't something you can fake. You know when you are in the presence of someone who has that kind of relationship with the Lord.

Rose: Yes. They're so in love with the Lord and they have the joy of the Lord and love just permeates out of their being. You can just tell the difference.

Host: Well, ok. So that's kind of a scenario of perhaps where we begin and where the Lord wants to take us. But of course, inevitably Rose, we try unfortunately, a number of ways to get there that aren't going to get us there. There are things we may do that are just not going to be enough to bring us to that level of relationship with the Lord, as hard as we may try at it. And we want to discuss three examples of that today, starting with this idea of being upright. And apparently what we can glean from Scripture is that just being upright, is not enough.

Rose: That is correct. We see the reality of that in Job's life. Job was upright. He was a godly man. Scripture said he was blameless, upright, fearing God and turning away from evil.

Host: And yet there was something missing in Job's life.

Rose: Yes. And the only way for Job to see what was missing in his life was for the Lord to allow a series of events to occur in his life to bring him to a place where he saw how desperately he needed God in a greater way.

Host: For those who may not be familiar with the story of job, maybe in a nutshell explain what happened to him.

Rose: The story of Job is so amazing to me because you see all that the Lord allowed to come into his life in one day. He lost his children. He lost his business. He lost his livelihood. He lost his home.

Host: He basically lost everything.

Rose: Everything. Everything that was in his possession. Everything that was dear to him. He lost it all. And what is so amazing to me is that Job said, “Naked, I came from my mother's womb and naked shall I return. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21, ESV) And then it says, “In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.” (Job 1:22, ESV) You read that and you see, wow Job was upright. He was a godly man.
         Yet, as you read the rest of the book of Job, you see that although Job was upright, he was very self-righteous also. He had a lot of spiritual pride and that was the thing that the Lord was after in Job through these calamities. God allowed them to come into his life to show him that He wasn't satisfied with where Job was at. At the end of the book of Job, we see that Job got a greater sight of the Lord. And he said, “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You. Therefore, I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42:5-6, NKJV) And when he said that God was pleased.

Host: And again, for those who may not be familiar with the story, God allowed this. In fact, Satan had come to God saying, look at your servant Job. If you weren't blessing Him, he wouldn't be worshiping you. And God allowed Satan to sift Him. And then of course, there was all this dialogue between Job and his friends and all of them spoke while none of them knew what was going on in the spiritual realm. They didn't know that God was allowing this for the purpose of doing something in Job's life.

Rose: Right. It was for the Lord to do a deeper work in Job's heart. And when you see that, you just see how much we all need that. We need a deeper reality of God and a deeper reality of how much we need Him. When we can see that, we can have the right attitude as we go through trials. Where we can say, “Lord, this is from your hand. And I need to learn how to kiss the hand that has allowed this to come into my life.”

Host: What a wonderful lesson to learn because it really does give us an entirely new attitude on the circumstances that come into our life. None of it is by chance. As you said, for the believer, it has all come through my loving Father's hands.
         Okay now, next we want to look at a second area of maturity needed in our walk and that is in the area of faith. We can have tremendous faith in our lives and yet God may not be satisfied with where we're at.

Rose: Yes. For example, we look at David's life and see that he was a man of great faith. You just see it displayed when he faced Goliath. God had given him victory in the past over a lion and a bear, so when he faced Goliath, he knew that this giant was coming down. He knew who his God was. Yet you look at what the Lord allowed in his life with King Saul pursuing him and David was basically on the run for 13 years living in caves and receiving death threats. Also, David’s own son turned against him. God allowed trials to come into David’s life because He was wanting to do a deeper work in David's heart. He wasn't satisfied with where David was at. The Lord wanted David to have more of Himself dwelling inside of him and He wanted David to have a greater knowledge of Him.
         As wonderful as the Psalms that David wrote are, we see that the Lord still had so much more work to do in David throughout his life. And sometimes God is trying to give us more of Himself by using the dark times that we go through to give us more of Himself. When we are in the wilderness and everyone is against us and we are asking ourselves, “Who can I turn to?” It's in those times when we turn to the Lord that He's able to come to us and reveal Himself to us in a greater way than He could have had we not gone through a particular trial. Sometimes we want the trial to be over quick, but David was in the wilderness 13 years. But it was hard for him to. He even said, “How long, O Lord.”

Host: Amen. Well, let's look at one final thing. That is this path that we pursue for great revelation. No doubt, God has given many men and women wonderful revelations. And yet even for those, He wanted them to go deeper in their walk with Him.

Rose: Yeah. We look at the apostle Paul who started many churches and he was even caught up in the third heaven receiving revelation from the Lord. And yet the Lord allowed a thorn in his flesh to remain that he had pleaded with the Lord three times to remove. And God said, “My grace is sufficient for thee in your weakness.” And you look at Paul's life and you see, wow, if the Lord allowed him to go through that to keep him humble so that he wouldn't rise up in spiritual pride, then of course he's going to allow some thorn maybe to stay in our lives as well to keep us humble. And He will do that so that we don't rise up in pride and so that we see how much we really need the Him. That’s just His grace.

Host: Yes. And not only the thorn in his flesh, but the beatings. All of the difficulties he suffered.

Rose: Yes. It’s amazing what Paul went through, all of which God allowed.

Host: Yeah. And the natural reasoning mind would say “Now, wait a minute, God. Obviously, you don't know what you're doing here. Couldn't Paul be more effective? Couldn't he reach more people? Couldn't he build a bigger church? Lord, if you just blessed him, if you just took all these things away?” And yet, as you said previously about David, God was more interested in what was in Paul’s heart.

Rose: And people could look at Paul's life and say, well, something went wrong that he went through all this. But you see how now because Paul went through these things, what he wrote about his trials are treasures that God has used for generations for people who are going through pain and suffering to be encouraged by. And you see what God was able to put into Paul while he was going through these trials or siftings that what came out of Paul was just tremendous treasure from heaven.

Host: Well, I think that there's a string that runs through all three of these stories that you shared with us. Something that God wanted to bring about and accomplish in the lives of those that we gave examples of.

Rose: I think what it is, is not to be satisfied with where we are in our walk with God. When I think of my own Christian journey, the Lord is continually prodding me not to be satisfied with where I'm at in Him, or even with the fruit in my life. He wants more. He requires more. And it's right that He does require more from us because we're to be representatives of Christ here on earth. We're to be living epistles. And if you measure your life to Jesus, hopefully, if you're honest with yourself, you see that you don't measure up to Him. And seeing that lack should cause us to cry out to God. We can't lose sight of our great need. When we think we're doing good, that's dangerous. In my opinion.

Host: Right. When we're trusting in our goodness, when we're trusting in our faith, when we're trusting in revelation, that is dangerous. We could come up with a list of a dozen seemingly valid things in the life of the Christian that we can trust in, but only when we really see our need are we trusting in the right thing. And that's Him.

Rose: Yes. He's rich. He's unsearchable. He is what the Bible says about Him. There are mysteries of God and when you look at the Lord, you see that you have a long way to go.

Host: And I suppose you could look at that in a negative way. But really if we see our Father's heart, it only makes sense that it’s for our good that we never stop growing. He is a loving Father. He wants us to have as much as we can possibly have of Him. He wants to give us everything. So that's at the heart of it, isn't it? Whatever God's doing is because He wants to give us more of Himself.

How did Judas end up in a place where he could betray the Son of God? While we don’t know anything about Judas’ life from before he met Jesus, the Bible does give us glimpses into the kind of character he exhibited during the years he followed Jesus. And as we examine this time in his life, we find subtle ways he left doors open to the enemy. It was these “open doors” which allowed Satan to eventually have his way in Judas’ life.

“God loves me just the way I am” is one of those statements that can either be incredibly liberating, or incredibly dangerous. Liberating when we realize that we don’t have to strive to earn God’s favor. Dangerous if we use God’s unconditional love as an excuse to stay in unrepentant sin.  

In this episode, we'll talk about the unconditional love of God and how we ought to respond to it.

‍

The incredible truth about God's love is that it is unconditional. This is incredibly liberating for some, and it sets them free from striving to earn God's favor. But many others use this reality as a license to continue their perilous descent into the depths of sin. Thanks for joining us for the third episode in our series 10 Half-Truths that Keep Us Addicted to Porn, as we dissect the statement, "God loves me just the way I am."

Resources

• Sexual Sin Comes with a Price | 20 Truths that Helped Me in My Battle with Porn Addiction (Short Video)

Self-confidence is highly praised in our culture. But it was the apostle Peter’s belief in self that led to his greatest failure. He boldly proclaimed he would die for his Lord, yet ended up denying Jesus three times. This is recorded in the Bible, not to shame Peter, but to teach us hard truths about the pathway of self-denial. Join Steve Gallagher as he expounds on this topic in this week’s message.

In this "Timeless Truths" segment: God is more than willing to set us free, but we've got do things His way. We have to allow Him to continually search our hearts and show us what displeases Him. Then, all we need to do is take the path of repentance.

Host: Jeff, we want to talk today about a word we hear a lot here at Pure Life Ministries and that is repentance. And I want to begin by asking you, how important is it that we take the time in our walk with the Lord to evaluate the condition of our heart?

Jeff: Well, one aspect that I've learned about repentance is that it really is my connection to the Lord. I value my prayer life with the Lord. And I know that God wants to use that time with Him and the time in His Word to help me and to show me things. To me, repentance is key to keeping that communion and fellowship with the Lord and to allow Him to work in my life the way He wants to. It also leads me into a more intimate relationship with Him.

Host: Talk a little bit about what leads us into repentance. How does repentance begin in our hearts?

Jeff: Sometimes, it's obvious the things we need to repent of. But other times there are attitudes in our lives that we're not aware of. To me, when I go to the Lord, especially in prayer and when I'm in His Word, I have to realize that God wants to help me during that time. He wants to calibrate me. He's always wanting to calibrate me and I need to be aware of that. I want to be pleasing to Him and I want to know His will, but I also understand that I need His help to search me and to show me things that I'm not seeing.

{{blog-bwalk="/blog-ads-storage"}}

Host: Yeah, I would say for myself also that one of the things I'm learning is that underneath the things that are outwardly obvious that the Lord’s had to deal with in my life, there are things deeper in my heart that the Lord is really after. And unless I let Him go after the underlying things, I may be able to change my behavior or I may be able to “keep the rules”, but my heart won't change unless I let the Lord go after those deeper things.

Jeff: Yeah. And you know, a lot of times, pride hinders us from repenting. It hinders us when we want to believe the best about ourselves. In reality, we're wretches and we just need to be willing to agree with God and call things what He calls them in our lives and just agree with God when He's showing us things in our lives that need to change.

Host: I want you to expand on that because in the Christian church today, we have become experts at euphemisms. For example, we often hear guys say, “I'm struggling with lust.” Or, “I’m struggling with pornography.” And the reality is that they aren’t struggling at all; they've given over to very specific kinds of sins.

Jeff: Well, I'll say it this way, we don't see in the Word of God where it says a man struggles with lust. In those cases, it says that a man committed adultery. For a guy that's been lusting for a girl at work for instance, it's not enough for him to say that he has been lusting. He needs to tell himself that he is committing adultery before God in his heart. To me that makes the sin more for what it really is and really helps us to repent of it correctly.

Host: You mentioned spending meaningful alone time with the Lord. And one of the things I've learned is that when I'm with the Lord in that quiet time, I need to be really honest with the Lord about what it is that's in my heart. And as you mentioned, we have a tendency to want to make it look better than it really is. But if I really want God to be able to get at that thing that needs changing, then I've got to be honest about what that thing is.

Jeff: Yeah. Sometimes when it comes to things like adultery in our heart, we almost don't need the Holy Spirit to point it out to us. We just know that we are wrong because God's Word is so clear about it. But we all have pockets of iniquity that maybe aren't as easy to see, and we need God's help to reveal those to us.

Host: Well, talk about the difference between sin and iniquities.

Jeff: In the Bible we see things like, lying, fornication, stealing, or cursing. These are obvious. The Scripture is pretty clear about that. But when we're talking about iniquities, we're talking about things that aren't as obvious and we need God to help us see them. These are things like our attitudes towards situations or people, things like envy, selfish ambition, or coveting. These things are kind of in the background of our character. Unbelief even is a big blind spot for many, because a lot of times we don't equate that with sin. I remember God making it real to me one day where He says that the children of Israel had an evil heart of unbelief. That really hit home for me. I don't want to be in that kind of unbelief.

Host: We see this work out clearly for the men that come into our Residential Program. They come here and they want to be done with the sin of pornography or other sexual sin. But really when we see a real work begin to happen in their lives is when God begins to go after, as you phrased it, these iniquities deeper in their hearts, things maybe they've never seen before and have never realized were perhaps at the root of their sexual addiction.

Jeff: Yeah. And it's important that we understand that as we're turning from those things, we will find out that that's what's been hindering God moving in our lives. And I know for me, the sense I have is that God is always trying to help me and He's trying to remove things in my life that are hindering Him from doing that.

Host: Well, Jeff, for the individual out there who maybe has dealt with the obvious sin in their life, but there is a hunger in their hearts to have God go deeper and to have a more intimate relationship with Him, what do they do? Where do they begin?

Jeff: Well, I know for myself, I must come to the Word of God. I have to come to the Lord with a sincere heart and understand that I don't see things correctly. And a lot of times I encourage people to pray the last two verses in Psalm 139 where it says, “Search me, oh God. Try me. Know my heart.” I need to be willing to let God do that. I need to let the Word of God read me.
         The Bible tells us in Hebrews 4 that the Word is living and is able to discern our thoughts. God's Word will do that if we come to it sincerely and ask the Lord to show us if there is anything in our lives or in our hearts that's hindering Him from doing His work in us. Or if there is anything that we need to repent or turn away from. And God's always been faithful in my life to show me the things I need to see. Then I find the joy of turning away from those things and turning to Him.

Host: It takes courage to do that.

Jeff: Yeah, and confidence really in who He is. And that really, He's just wanting me to draw near to Him.

Host: Yes. And with that perspective, He does give us the courage to step forward and say, “Lord, I just want to be honest, I want to lay my heart bare before you.” And as you said, He is so faithful to do it.

Jeff: He is.

The Bible clearly teaches that we don't have the strength in and of ourselves to break free from the power of sin. But does that mean that if we're in bondage to pornography, it's because God hasn't chosen to set us free?

‍

In this episode, we'll look at what the Bible teaches about how Christians obtain victory over sin.

‍

Jesus promised us that the truth would set us free. He made no such promises about half-truths. In this episode, Nate Danser examines Scripture to find out why “I can’t get free unless God chooses to set me free” is a half-truth with no power to deliver people from porn addiction. And, one of our residential counselors will talk about how that very half-truth crippled his efforts to break free from pornography. And of course, we’ll look at the full truth that has power to set anyone free!

Resources

• Sexual Sin is a Liar | 20 Truths that Helped Me in My Battle with Porn Addiction (Short Video)

Anyone who justifies a porn habit is on very dangerous ground. In this week's "Timeless Truths" segment, we'll look at what the Bible says happens when we allow a pattern of sin to remain in our lives.

Host: Ken Larkin has joined us in the studio again. Ken, we want to deal with a question that came in from an individual who has been struggling with internet pornography for years. As a way of justification for their pornography use, they're looking at it from the perspective that since they're not actually involved in an affair with another person then their sin really isn’t a big deal. They see it as just blowing off steam and a way to enjoy their free time and yet they're asking the question, “How can I continue in my spiritual journey while doing this?” Interesting question there.

Ken: Yes, it is. First, I would say that if they have a sincere desire to grow spiritually and become more like Jesus, then the internet porn must go. There is no rational justification for sinning to blow off steam. And without a doubt, any sin, especially a long-standing sin like habitual pornography is hindering this person in their walk with God.

Host: Okay, now let's take a look at some of the negative effects of viewing pornography.

Ken: Well, all sin has consequences even if they're not readily apparent. So, what I would say first of all is that their heart is becoming more defiled and increasingly hardened as they continue this behavior. And with that, it's going to affect their relationship with the Lord in a negative way. There's no way of getting around that. And lust is selfish by nature. So, a person is going to be alienating themselves from the Lord and from other people the more that they are involved in this behavior.

Host: For sure. Well, Ken, let's deal with the perspective that he has that I think is very often common from men that are involved in pornography. He is justifying himself by saying he isn’t engaging in sin physically with someone else. Tackle that issue if you would.

Ken: What I would say is that really, it's a heart issue. Even though you're not physically involved in a relationship, you are committing adultery in your heart. You're having an affair with someone in your heart. And that would be true whether you're married or whether you're single. And with that also, you're heading down a dangerous pathway spiritually. The wages of sin is death and there's no way to get around that.

Host: Well, Jesus talks about this too.

Ken: Yeah, he sure does. Jesus explains this and He also gives us a serious warning in Matthew 5:28-30. He says, “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.” (Matthew 5:28-30, NKJV)

Host: Now, you started this discussion by assuming this individual was sincere, that they have a sincere desire to grow spiritually and become more like Jesus. So, if they truly are sincere, what should they get out of that passage in Matthew? What really would you admonish a person to do if they are serious?

Ken: We would call it radical amputation. Do whatever it takes to free yourself of this addiction. First of all, you have to get rid of the pornography, that’s nonnegotiable. With that, maybe an internet filter or something like that, that would help you would be great.

Host: Whatever it takes. That may mean getting rid of the computer or getting rid of the smartphone if some kind of protection software isn't going to do it for you. And I only say that because I know you can have all the protection software in the world you want, but if you really are craving sin, there's always a way to get around it. So, if it means getting rid of the computer, then it means getting rid of the computer.

Ken: That is so true. Secondly, I would say if you haven't done so already, it's important that you share this sin, get it into the light with your pastor or some godly individual that you can trust. And they can provide you with guidance and accountability as you're coming into freedom over this addiction.
       Thirdly, I would encourage you to enroll in our Overcomers At-Home Program. I've seen many individuals radically changed from the inside out as God has dealt with them at the root issues, this pride, this selfishness and all these things that aid and abet your sin. When God gets to the heart issue, it goes beyond outward change like putting a filter on your devices, God begins to take the desire for sin out of your heart. I've seen men come into a relationship with the Lord they never had before. Where they have something better than their sin and they enjoy that sweet fellowship with the Lord.

{{blog-brse="/blog-ads-storage"}}

Host: And that's so important. I think that was the thing that was missing in this individual's question was they saw the issue as, “What do I do about my spiritual journey?” But all they focused on was pornography. They missed what so many of us missed until the Lord opened our eyes: pornography really wasn't the issue. It was just the manifestation of the deeper issues of the heart that the Lord wants to deal with.

Ken: That's so true. And I would also say the Lord is not trying to take from us. God is wanting to give this individual more of himself and this pornography is just getting in the way. As they open up their hearts through genuine repentance and put their faith anew in Christ, He wants to pour in His spirit and give them that abundant life that He's promised for all of us.

Host: Amen. Well, Ken, thanks so much for talking to us about this question today. And we do want to let folks know if they are interested in the Overcomers At-Home Program or our Residential Program, there's information for both of these on our website at www.purelifeministries.org. Just click on the counseling tab.

There are times in our lives when God seems to be silent. During these seasons, we must not lose heart for God is trying to increase our faith.  In this week’s sermon, Nate Danser explains God’s purpose in His silence, and shows us the right ways we can respond to it.

In the same way that truth sets us free, deception keeps us in bondage. But the deceptions we are most vulnerable to are not the brazen lies, they are the ones mixed with truth.

Pornography is constantly telling us half-truths. The biggest one is this: Sexual pleasure is the most important aspect of life.