Consider how different your life would look if Jesus were to take over your body and live His will perfectly through you. One thing is certain, sexual sin wouldn’t be anywhere in the picture. His deep love for other people would make selfishness and lust an utter impossibility. God has clearly revealed that His will is mercy, but as fallen human beings, there’s so much in us that opposes that will. That means, we really need to surrender. In this episode, we discuss what it means for us to be consecrated to God, so that He may do His will of mercy through us.

When your mind has been saturated with filthy images for years, it’s hard to imagine ever being able to have a pure thought life. But the Word of God is powerful! Last week we emphasized our need to seek the Lord, and now we want to help you live that out practically. We’re going to look at how scripture restructures a pornographic mindset, why a healthy relationship with God’s word is so important. Then we’ll give you some examples of how saturating your mind in God’s word translates into a changed life.

It’s time to apply everything we've learned so far in our Victory series. But to do that, we must go to the source of sin in our lives and deal with it there. God’s Word is clear, if we've been living in sexual sin, we don’t just need a change in our behaviors, we need a transformation at the deepest level. We need a change in our hearts, of our wills and of our desires.

We’ve covered a lot of ground in this series. And in this episode, we want to end by helping you see that ultimately, it’s living in the flow of God’s love that will put the ax to the root of sin and selfishness in your life. Pride and selfishness cannot flourish in a heart that is overflowing with a desire to meet the needs of others.

We’ll also take a step back, and look at our series as a whole, to remind us of the depth and complexity of the self-life.

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In this segment, we share a talk that Pastor Steve Gallagher gave to our Residential Program students. He encourages us that if our heart attitude is simply to listen and obey God’s voice in our daily life, God will transform our lives. (From Podcast Episode #348 - The Church Addicted: When We Stopped Caring About Obedience)

I had something on my heart before Jeff even started sharing a little earlier, and it has to do with obedience. Pastor Jeff and the others up here, we can create an atmosphere because of our love for the Lord, which you can enter. But if you ever want it to become your own, and if want to get beyond just an emotional experience, your level of obedience needs to deepen. You no longer have the luxury to do the smorgasbord Christianity thing, to pick and choose when you're going to obey. Something has got to change.

I’d like to make a soft appeal to your heart. I was thinking back to earlier in life when I was a Christian and struggling, and how I would hear a sermon, I would read a book, which were sometimes good words. But then I’d just kind of blow it off, and go home and I’d forget about it. I never let things penetrate. So, I never changed. I remember in 1985, I don't know why things started changing, but I started obeying. That's really what it boiled down to. I just started obeying. I was just talking to a board member, and I was telling him about something that happened back in 1985. The Lord started dealing with me on some things, and I started finally doing what He was saying. And things started changing. Imagine that! Things actually started changing. My faith started growing, and my sight of God started growing, and I started wanting to do the right thing.

But you have got to get out of this shallow Christianity. You have got to get to where you start really obeying the Lord from the heart. That's how you prepare your heart. You have the attitude, “Lord, whatever you want me to do I am going to do it.” You have to come to God with that attitude. If you don't come to God with that attitude, what you are is a rebel. But there are no rebels in heaven. We just sang a nice little song. We all want to be there, amen? We all want to be there, but we've got to obey the Lord. I don't know what convoluted doctrine you've come up with over the years that has allowed for this life that you've led. I was in the same thing. Trust me, if you don't know what it means to obey God from the heart, you will not be there. You just won't.

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I was thinking of Matthew 7:22, where Jesus said, “Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, didn't we prophesy in your name and didn't we speak in tongues and then we cast out devils?” In other words, this kind of Christian will not mind doing things. They'll tithe, they'll go to church and they'll get involved and do some things. But you know what the bottom line is? They are always in control, and they decide when and how they will obey. And Jesus said, it’s those who obey my father's will, who will be in heaven (Matthew 7:21). So, you've got to learn what that means for your life. You've got to come to grips with this thing. What is God asking of you?

I bet right now He's dealing with many of you about some particular issue or another. Maybe you're resisting Him, or you have been. Don't be like that. You're just wasting your time. You won't get anything. I don't want to make this a big speech tonight. I'm just imploring you to go deeper. Go deeper with the Lord. I'm telling you, things will change in your life like they did for Steve Gallagher 26 years ago. Would I have guessed that a year later, I'd be sharing my testimony on the 700 Club? No, no way. Who knows what God will do with your life? Who can imagine? Who would have thought that in three years I'd be on the Oprah Winfrey Show sharing my testimony? Why? Because this pervert in California just started doing what he was told to do, finally.

There is nothing special about Steve Gallagher. Trust me. I'm not some great guy or something. I was a jerk. I was a rebel. I was stubborn, I was all those things. But something happened and I started obeying the Lord, and everything turned on a dime, really. So, start obeying Him from the heart. Amen.

It’s time to apply everything we've learned so far in our Victory series. But to do that, we must go to the source of sin in our lives and deal with it there. God’s Word is clear, if we've been living in sexual sin, we don’t just need a change in our behaviors, we need a transformation at the deepest level. We need a change in our hearts, of our wills and of our desires.

In this segment, Pastor Steve Gallagher teaches us about true Biblical worship, an important element for someone seeking to overcome sexual addiction through a vibrant life in Christ.  (From Podcast Episode #357 - What Role Does Worship Play in Freedom from Porn?)

Jim: I'm joined in the studio today by Steve Gallagher. Pastor Steve Gallagher is the founder and president of Pure Life Ministries. It's always good to have you here in the studio.

Steve: Yeah, I'm so happy to be here with you Jim.

Jim: We're talking today about the role that worship plays in the life of a man seeking freedom from sexual sin. We have chapel services usually twice a week here on campus, and we have seen the great value that can be derived from Spirit led services, where God really shows up. In much of the evangelical church today, worship is about the style of music that is offered. Churches have been fighting culture wars between contemporary and traditional worship styles for years. But what I'd like you to do for us today, Pastor, is to look past these superficial concerns and really bring us back to the meaning of worship and the attitude of the heart that makes our expressions of worship pleasing to God. So, to get us started, why is worship such an important issue for those struggling with sexual sin?

Steve: Well, Jim, when I thought about this question, I immediately thought about the opening of my book At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry. Let me just read the first few sentences here. “Deeply embedded within the heart of man is a spiritual alter. Every human has the capacity, no, the need to worship. The objects of that worship are the things or persons which have taken the pre-eminent position of importance in the person's life. Whatever they may be, they cast their looming shadow over all of the other aspects of his life. It is this position in the human heart that God demands to occupy.” And then I go on to share, “The Great Commandment as Jesus called it out of Deuteronomy Six (v. 5), that ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’” Then I go into talking about how people corrupt that inward need for worship by worshiping idolatry, different forms of idols, which of course, this book is regarding sexual idolatry.

The basis of worship really manifests itself in how we live our lives. What we are devoted to. And what we sing in church should be an outflow of what's going on in our hearts throughout the week. Just in our daily life, it's not just about going to church, singing some songs and then going back to living a carnal and worldly life. It is an outflow of a love for God.

Jim: Well, Pastor, take us to the Bible. How does the Bible describe or define worship?

Steve: It's interesting that the Hebraic term and the Greek term for worship are so similar in what their meaning is. “Shachah” is the Hebrew term, and it means to bow down, to prostrate oneself, worship, obeisance, homage to royalty, or in reverence to God. So, you get the sense of not singing songs, but you get the sense of really humbling yourself before someone you consider to be greater than yourself. The Greek form of the word maintains the same idea. “Proskuneo” means to bow down, to fall upon the knees and touch one's forehead to the ground as an expression of profound reverence, as well as kneeling, or prostrating oneself to show respect or make supplication. You get the same sense of coming to a person who you consider to be of much greater quality and character than yourself and humbling yourself before that person. That's what the term worship really means.

Jim: How is our lifestyle a manifestation of worship?

Steve: It's interesting that one of the first times the word worship is used in the Bible is actually in the Ten Commandments. The Lord starts immediately talking about, you shall not make any idols, and so on. Then He says, “You shall not worship them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children of the third and the fourth generations of those who hate me” (Exodus 20:5). Wow, what a statement.

To serve the idols of the day was a lifestyle. It isn't just a matter of going and bowing down before an idol. You are identifying yourself with that religion, which affected every aspect of your life. If you were one of the Ba’al worshipers in Israel, you were going to be hanging out with Ba’al worshipers and doing the sorts of things that Ba’al worshipers do. If you are a worshiper of Jehovah, then you're going to be around the temple or around the Tabernacle. That's where you're going to find yourself and you're going to be with people who are devoted to the God that they serve.

For us in American life, worship is very much tied into what we are devoted to. The reality of worship comes forth in your daily life and it shows forth in the way you live throughout the week. And so, you can go to church on Sunday and sing some songs, but if you aren't truly humbling yourself before God and walking with God, you are not a worshiper of the Lord.

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Jim: Pastor, I've read the Ten Commandments, I don't know how many times, but when you read it, just then it really struck me that if you're not worshiping Yahweh your God, then you're a God hater.

Steve: It's funny because I had the same experience before when I’ve read it. I finished out that fifth verse where it talks about Him visiting the iniquity of the third and the fourth generations of those who hate me, and that's how the Lord sees people who won't worship him. It really is a love or hate deal.

Jim: One of the problems that we always see with the nation of Israel is while they're called to worship God, they constantly struggled with idolatry. They would worship the Lord on His day, and then at other times they’d be found in other worship places, worshiping Ba’al and other gods. But don't we really see that today with people who go to church on Sunday, but they're not really worshiping God, they're worshiping everything else but God?

Steve: Yes. The Lord said through Isaiah to the people of his day, “Because this people draw near with their words” (Isaiah 29:13a). Man, does that describe the American church today. We have a lot of big words about our Christian experience or commitment. But this is what he goes on to say: “And they honor me with their lip service, but they remove their hearts from me, and their reverence for me consists of tradition learned by rote” (Isaiah 29:13b).  That is describing the worship of a hypocrite. That's what it’s describing. Your mouth is saying one thing and you're putting out an image of being a certain type of person. You're communicating that. You're conveying that to everyone around you, and you call yourself Christian, but you hold your heart back from me. That's what the Lord is saying. You withdraw your devotion to me, and in your heart your really devoted to other things. You're not devoted to me. Man, you feel the pain in God's heart because He loves people, and He wants them to love Him. That’s what Christianity is supposed to be all about. It's not just another form of religion, it is relationship with the Lord our God. That relationship is proven in our affections and in our heart.

Jim: So, worship is about a loving God who wants us to love Him in return. What would you say is the foundation of true worship?

Steve: Well, Jesus defined it. I love that He defines it to a pagan woman. He didn't tell the Pharisees, the religious leaders of his day, and He didn't even tell His disciples. They were off in the city. He tells a Samaritan woman, and this woman had been married five times. I mean she was not even a moral woman. And He said to her, “But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers” (John 4:23).

He's saying that true worshipers are those who worship in spirit and truth. And so, by inference, that means there are those who aren't worshiping in the Spirit. They're worshiping in the flesh, and they're not worshiping out of a sincere love for God. They're insincere, which is what we were just talking about. So, the foundation of true worship is to come before God, as I said earlier, in humility. It’s very much in your heart, where you are bowing down before the Lord, and recognizing His superiority. You're recognizing your sinfulness, your fallen nature, your puniness, and you're coming before Him in that kind of humility. In that humility, you are in the spirit of worship.

That's what happens at Pure Life Ministries. We teach the men this. They’re coming in at varying degrees. But they're coming into, maybe many of them the first time in their lives, what it really means to open their mouths and sing songs, and even in between the songs, to express love and devotion to God. That is worship. It's not just a simple matter of singing some songs that you've grown accustomed to, or where you like the tune of a song or something. It is a matter of coming before God and expressing love, adoration and reverence for Him. That's what true worship is all about.

Jim: I think you've given us a great foundation for worship, and have shown us why it's so valuable and how it helps men overcome their sexual sin. Thanks for coming in today.

Steve: Yeah, it's been my pleasure, Jim.

Scripture warns that in the last days there will be antichrists who will lead many astray. And so without a clear understanding of who Jesus Christ is, we can easily be deceived, and fail to become the disciples we were meant to be. This week we take a short break from our victory series to speak with Glenn Meldrum, evangelist and author of The Radical Jesus. He’ll challenge us to abandon false conceptions of a tame Jesus and to know Him as He truly is - radical in every way!

At the end of the day, overcoming pride is essential to being able to overcome sin. But to just get rid of pride isn't enough. There must be something to take its place.

That thing is humility, and without it there can be no true deliverance from sin, nor any true fellowship with God. God is irresistibly drawn to those who exhibit this characteristic and so, it is a heart attitude that we ought to be zealous in cultivating.

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In this segment, Kathy Gallagher reflects on God’s character in light of the betrayal of His people. She also encourages wives to learn from this and to imitate the Lord even in difficult marriages. (From Podcast Episode #441 – |Victory| Understanding the Anger of God).

Nate: Kathy, we're talking about some deep things in this show today, and some things that are hard for us to understand. We want to look at God's anger. Part of what makes God angry is when His people betray Him. When you hear Him speak in the Old Testament, especially I think in the book of Hosea, He sounds like a grieving, anguished lover. I want to hear from you about this, because you know what it's like to be betrayed by a person that you gave yourself to.

Kathy: Yes. Speaking of the anger of God is not an easy subject for me. So, I'm going to keep it personal because my anger is different than God's anger. Human anger is very different than God's anger. But I do think at some level we can understand that He's a jilted lover. He has the heart of a jilted lover. As I was thinking about this and praying about it, my thoughts go toward the man. What was it in his heart, before he married her, that drew him to her? And what compelled Him to want to make a covenant with her? It's the covenant. In our modern vernacular we don't talk about covenant. But there was something about that woman that that man wanted to unite himself to. More than anybody else. What happened? What came in that would cause him to betray that? He didn’t just betray her, but also that union, which he had such a desire to have with her.

That was the cry in me when I found out that Steve was being unfaithful. The thing that came out of me was, "You gave yourself to me, and I gave myself to you. We were one. How could you?" That's the cry of the woman's heart because she understands the depth of that union. For some reason, I don't know if it's just in our modern culture or if this has been there since the beginning of time, but men tend to be more willing, I should say, to drift and to wander. And that's not only in marriage, but I think it's spiritually as well. We all wander. I don't want to be misunderstood. We all drift, we all wander. But when it comes to the covenant of marriage, men seem to be more willing to turn away from that because of the lust of the flesh. And that's the bottom line: it's the lust of the flesh.

To put into Biblical terms, and to bring it back more into focus of what God has experienced, His people have committed idolatry: spiritual adultery. They were spiritual harlots and it grieved Him and it broke him. And but His anger didn't lash out. Our anger lashes out right away. Like when I found out what Steve was doing, I had instant anger, instant rage, instant confusion. I was instantly broken. Everything was so instant. With God, it's not really like that. It took a long time for God to get angry to the point of judgment. So that's why I don't like comparing my anger to God's anger because it's pretty quick for me.

Nate: When you read the Old Testament where God sounds hurt, and where he sounds angry because of the betrayal. It sounds like you can kind of grasp something of what he went through.

Kathy: Yes, I think at some level we can. But not completely because He completely gave himself to Israel, and He provided everything they could possibly ever want or need. He gave everything. So the betrayal, as a wife and someone who's been betrayed, I understand that at some level. But not to the depth that God did, because I didn't give everything. My desire for marriage was selfish, also. There was some selfishness in my desire for my husband. It's always a mixed bag. It's never completely pure with us. With God, His devotion to Israel was completely pure and unselfish. So, to have that breach, a continual breach, continual centuries of His people in idolatry and running to other lovers, you get to your breaking point. I understand it in a very human way, but I could never try to pretend like I understand what God went through. I don't know. I can see it in the scriptures. But again, we read the scriptures through very a human viewpoint and it really takes the Holy Spirit to enlighten us to help us to really grasp the depths of not just His love, but His anger.

Nate: Yeah, it's so hard for us to understand the Lord because we're not like Him and we're sinful, like you said. I'd like for you to talk a little more about some sinful reactions that a wife has when she's being betrayed. Can you help explain why those are not accurate pictures of how God is responding when we sin against Him?

Kathy: Okay, there's a list. God isn't full of self-pity. God isn't bitter. God isn't vengeful. He's not jealous in a human way, He doesn't want to pay back. He's not like that. But we are. So, to bring it down to earth into the living room of women that are listening, we can become angry, vengeful, and full of self-pity, self-righteous and have bitterness. Bitterness is such a big deal for women. And I'm not saying it's not understandable. It is very understandable. I get it. I totally get it. The war for us is to fight against that because it's natural to have those reactions. But it's most un-godlike. And you can really measure where you're at by it. I mean this sin coming from our husbands brings out what's in us.

I had a dear lady, an older woman many years ago, I don't know why she did this, but it was so powerful in the moment that she did it. She didn't know me that well. I don't know that she even really knew my testimony very well. But she walked up to me, she wrapped her arms around me and said to me, "The most Godlike characteristic there is is forgiveness." I didn't know that I ever had any real unforgiveness, because I had already dealt with it many years before. But it penetrated my heart so deeply because I knew it was almost like Jesus was wrapping His arms around me and reminding me of how powerful forgiveness is, and what it does to the inward life and the soul of the woman. Because that is the only way that I know of to go through what I went through. If I would not have had the willingness to forgive the unforgivable... And that only came by the Holy Spirit. Because it wasn't in me. Naturally speaking, it's not in any of us.

But the power of forgiveness is power. It is truly powerful. And that is the only way for a woman that does have bitterness raging in her. It's by choosing to keep going back to that Fountain of Life. And it's God who gives us that gift. It comes from him. But He wants us to have it. If I could virtually or verbally wrap my arms around women that are listening who are devastated and tell them the most godlike characteristic there is is forgiveness, I would do that. I am doing that. I just feel that way! That's how you're going to get through this. You have to keep forgiving. That's what God did to us, His enemies. His worst enemies. It's just a very powerful thing.

Nate: Yes, as you are talking, I'm thinking about the contrast between us and God. He is instant and forgiveness and slow and anger, and we're instant in anger and slow to forgiveness.

Kathy: We drag our feet with the forgiveness because we have a list of do's and don't. We have a list of rules. If I forgive him, he'll just do it again. That doesn't negate the responsibility. There's a chapter in my book titled Level Playing Field. I just live here. I can never forget what God has forgiven me of. I don't want to forget what I was. Some people say, "Yeah, the past is in the past." That's fine. I don't live in my past, but I don't want to forget what I was, and what God rescued me from. It keeps the ground level for me with everybody. We're all sinners. And if I ever get to the place where I forget where I came from, then I start looking down my nose. I become critical. I'm judgmental. I can't love people properly when I'm not in the reality of the debt that has been paid for me. And that goes especially for marriage. It helps a lot for a wife to remember what her debt was, how much she was forgiven and what Jesus did for her.

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Nate: As you're talking, I'm just reflecting on how important it is for us to daily be in the Word of God. Because it's that place with the Lord where He's speaking to us in clarity. We take for granted how involved the Holy Spirit is in that time, when we're saying, "I want to be in your word, I want to know you." And there is great spiritual clarity about our inside world and about who He is that wouldn't be there if we weren't daily with Him. He's reminding us day by day, "I saved you from this. I'm rich in mercy. I'm slow to anger. I'm all of these things.” I guess I'm just really grateful for God's word as I'm listening to you talk because the Word of God just declares things as they are. And one of the messages over and over in the Word of God is, "Trust me. trust the full revelation of God, as He is.” Is there one specific reaction of God toward the sin of man besides forgiveness that helps you really trust Him?

Kathy: Besides forgiveness, my answer to that is Calvary. Calvary expresses everything about God because Calvary speaks volumes. It's Genesis to Revelation. The heart of God is redemption. That is the remedy for the husband who's in sin and for the wife who will be in sin if she doesn't fully embrace the revelation of forgiveness, of Calvary and of the resurrection. Those things are so absolutely central to our faith and our trust. You know what happens to Christians, I think? I've been a Christian for a long time and you get very familiar with things. The Word becomes familiar. And when you start to think, “I already know that,” And you say, "I've already read that. I've already I've already studied that," you're in trouble because God is becoming dusty to you. You need the Holy Spirit to come in and break up that fallow ground in your heart.

That could be a real reason why some women have such a hard time letting go of the sin of their husbands. It's because God is not a very present help to them. He is, but to them He's not, and their hearts have grown cold. The sin that their husbands committed has created such a callous over their hearts. That's what happens to women. That's why I harp when I have the opportunity. I am constantly harping on the need to forgive, and to let it go, and keep loving, keep serving, keep giving yourself away. God will take care of you. But we look too much to our emotional needs and not so much to our spiritual needs. We think that if we get our emotions straightened out, then our spiritual life will get straightened out. That is just so backwards. It's just not right.

And these are things I have had to learn. I am still learning these things. I don't have it all figured out. I just know though there are some things that are basic to doing this: Calvary, the resurrection, faith and trust. Trusting him no matter what it looks like. You have to put your trust in the Lord, and you have to turn your eyes away from the sin and the sinner. This is an effort. This takes monumental effort. It takes a lot of effort. But if you can start to do that, life will flow back in, because that is your expression of trust: to turn away from what's happening and turn to the Lord. And the Word of God will become more real. It will become more alive. It will speak to you when you're face down. When you're like Mary and not Martha, you will experience Jesus more.

I'm not saying all your problems are going to go away and you're going to feel great. I am not saying that. I'm just saying there's going to be a reality of God that will help get you through this trial. I know that a lot of people are going to hate me for saying this, but the Lord has allowed this. That needs to be looked at. Why did God allow this? It's a very painful thing. But I knew when my world broke apart God was speaking to me, He was after something in me. It was a big deal.

I hope and pray that some of this stuff helps women who are grappling with these things. Because we want a quick and easy psychological answer. If you're a Christian, it's not going to happen that way. A pill isn't going to take it away. A trip to psychotherapy session isn't going to take it away. You can get some temporary band-aids, but nothing but the blood of Christ the forgiveness of sins, the washing of the water of the Word and the renewing of your mind is going to do it. That's what must happen. It's a lifelong journey.

In this week’s episode, we look at one of the most shocking moments in King David’s reign, when he became a liar, an adulterer, and a murderer. We’ll look at it through the eyes of Nathan, the prophet who confronted David in his sin. We’ll also examine Psalm 51, the song that David wrote to express his brokenness, repentance, and need for mercy. This is a story that hits close to home for anyone in sexual sin, and we think what it teaches about God is essential for living a life of victory.

Sexual sin could be compared to insanity because the addict is living in his own fantasies more than real life. And because even though their lifestyle is destroying themselves and their family, they keep on sinning. Biblical counselor Jim Lewis offers some excellent thoughts about this subject. (From Podcast Episode #367 - Sexual Sin is the Epitome of Insanity).

Sexual sin could be compared to insanity because the addict is living in his own fantasies more than real life. And because even though their lifestyle is destroying themselves and their family, they keep on sinning. Biblical counselor Jim Lewis offers some excellent thoughts about this subject. (From podcast episode #367 - Sexual Sin is the Epitome of Insanity).

Here at Pure Life we are Biblical Counselors. That is to say, all of our counsel comes directly from the Word of God. We believe that sexual addiction is an intense emotional attachment to sin. Addiction is a sin problem, and only God has the solution for sin. We are not psychologists, and we don't want to be. The word psychology means the study of the soul. And we believe only the Creator of the soul can heal it.

So, we put men in the Word of God, and the Holy Spirit uses the Word to change a man's heart, renew his mind, and therefore change his behavior. It does little good to amend a man's behavior if his heart hasn't changed, because he'll always go back to what his heart worships, and his mind believes. But when God changes a heart and renews a mind, you end up with a new man.

I've laid this foundation because frankly, for the rest of my time I'm going to talk about psychology. One thing that all social scientists can do, and some do quite well, is to study human behavior and report out what they find about how men consistently behave. A scientist will analyze what he observes and record repetitions and patterns. This is the basis of all science. And not surprisingly, sex addicts all behave the same way. There's a discernible pattern to sin.

James writes in chapter one of his letter that a man is tempted according to his own desires, deceives himself, gives into the act of disobedience, and the result is always death. Every sex addict walks through this pattern every time. It is the self-deception that is critical to the process. He has to lie to himself and believe his own lies in order to give himself permission to disobey God and do what he knows to be wrong. Though he knows the consequences of his sinful behavior will only lead to guilt, separation from God, injury to God and others, he puts all of this out of his mind, and pursues the object of his desire because he wants the very temporary high that comes from his sin.

A rational person looking at this would quite simply conclude that such a thing is insanity. You know this brings death, you know it and yet you do it anyway. Patrick Carnes is a highly regarded clinical psychologist who has spent his career studying the behavior of sex addicts. He is the author of such books as Don't Call it Love and Out of The Shadows. And while we may not agree with psychological methods of treatment, we cannot fault this man's observations and analysis.

In his book Out of the Shadows, Carnes basically says that all addictions are the result of insane thinking. This is nowhere truer than among sex addicts. He writes that, "Addicts progressively go through stages in which they retreat from the reality of friends, family and work. Their secret lives become more real than their public lives." In other words, they lose touch with reality. He says, "Leading a fantasy double life is a distortion of reality. An essential part of sanity is being grounded in reality. So, in the sense that the addict distorts reality, the sexual addiction becomes a form of insanity."

He explains that all human behavior flows out of a man's belief system. That is the filter through which all of his information passes. We agree. He sees reality, makes decisions, and behaves according to what is true for him, what he believes. Again, we agree. The Bible is very clear on that. So, because the addicts very perception of reality is completely skewed, he acts according to his reprobate mind. To borrow the descriptor given by the apostle Paul. He completely ignores all the possible and even probable consequences of his behavior, believing that he is exempt or immune. And that such things as getting caught, bringing pain upon his spouse, losing his job, destroying his marriage, wrecking his life, incurring the judgement of God on his sin, will never happen to him.

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But Paul writes, "Be not deceived, God will not be mocked. Whatever a man sows, that he also will reap" (Galatians 6:7). Sin has its wages and one day it will pay out. Most of the men who come to Pure Life end up here because their sin began to cost them dearly. They come, not just to rid themselves of their sin, but to save their marriages, their sanity and their very lives. Speaking still about the insanity of sexual addiction, Carnes offers a list of lies that a man must tell himself and believe in order to do what he does. His list includes these, and every one of them is untrue: If I don't have it every few days the pressure builds up; I'm oversexed and have to meet my needs; what she doesn't know won't hurt her; every guy would do this if he could; if only my wife would be more responsive; cybersex is just electrons, this isn't real; with the stress I'm under, I deserve it; it's my way of relaxing; this isn't hurting anyone. Carnes concludes that whatever rationalization the form the self-deception takes, it further cuts the addict off from the reality of his behavior.

We agree with these conclusions. That there is an insanity to sexual sin, because we see it every day. And not because Carnes says so, but because the delusion that comes with sin is clearly taught in the Bible. The Bible describes perfectly man's behavior when he pursues sin, and he acts the same way every time. He lies to himself, believes his own lies, justifies, blame shifts, separates from God and others, falls into guilt, remorse, despair. Then to make himself feel better, he believes his own lies and repeats the same cycle all over again.  It is no wonder that a social scientist can describe this typically human pattern of sin revealed by the word of God.

When the Psalmist David was repenting of his sexual sin, he cried out to God, "you desire truth in the inmost being" (Psalm 51:6). There is no better anecdote to the insanity of sexual sin then the consistent exposure to the truth, and an unwavering commitment to speak nothing but the truth. This is where the Holy Spirit comes in, and why we advocate strongly a Biblical approach to sexual sin. First, the word of God is the truth, and reading it and studying it fills our mind with the truth. The Holy Spirit comes alongside His Word and applies the truth to our hearts and renews our minds. He shows us the lies we've believed and replaces them with the truth about God and about ourselves.

A commitment to transparency and accountability means no more secrets and no more lies. We must believe the truth, speak the truth and live according to the truth. Insanity loses touch with reality. Sexual sin makes you insane. You live in a world of fantasy and order your life accordingly. You believe lies and tell lies. Sanity, being of sound mind, is living in reality. Believing, speaking and living the truth. Believing a lie binds you to that lie, but believing the truth sets you free.