One of the most common lies whispered into the ears of men in sexual sin is, "You can get free between you and God. No one needs to know." While many are willing to believe this deception, the truth is that confession is absolutely essential for anyone who desires genuine freedom. In this episode, Pastor Ed Buch helps us unpack the spiritual realities behind confession.

The lives of Jesus’ disciples provide a mirror for us to examine our own lives and learn, just as they did, how to walk in true humility. In this interview, Mike and Jeff explore three aspects of these men’s walk with God and help us see how we too should hunger after this same change of heart.

Mike: As we continue our discussions on humility, we want to talk today about humility in the disciples of Jesus. In Luke 22:26 it says, “But among you, those who are the greatest should take the lowest rank and leaders should act like servants.” What do we begin to see as we look at the disciples of Jesus as it relates to humility?

Jeff: Well, I think right away what we realize is that the Kingdom of God operates completely different than we think it would, and it is opposite to what the world teaches. We sometimes do not realize how opposite our thinking and actions are to what Jesus teaches us.

Mike: If we look at the disciples after the crucifixion and the resurrection of Christ, we can see a dramatic change in their lives. But before that, and all throughout their time with Jesus here on earth, these guys were a mess.

Jeff: I kind of like the fact that they were a mess because I can look at their lives and I can learn a lot of things about myself. I can look at their decisions and the course of their lives as told in the gospels and ask myself, “What did they need to learn that I maybe need to learn?” I'm glad that God is able to use the example of people’s sins and mistakes to teach us even today.

Mike: As we look at these men, let's consider three important lessons that we can learn from them. First, we see what tremendous zeal and Christian activity we can have in our lives where humility is still sadly lacking.

Jeff: When you look at the disciples, you can see that they were extremely zealous. They walked away from everything right from the beginning and they forsook their lives to follow Christ. I believe they loved Him and obeyed Him as much they knew how at the time that they first started following Him. But they didn't understand yet what it meant to follow Him in every way. I think they still had a lot of pride imbedded in them. They had the wrong mindset, and they really needed some insight. Even though they had left everything behind, believed Jesus to be the Son of God, and even though they seemed to be zealous to follow Him, they still had issues in their hearts that needed to be dealt with.

Mike: And really when you say pride, it's not as if pride is this one small sin that we need to deal with. It's in the core of our being and it is the root of what is wrong with us. When we fast forward 2000 years and look at things today, whether it's pastors or evangelists or missionaries, we see the same problem.

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Jeff: Absolutely. I've seen it in my own life. Being in the ministry there were times where God has shed light in my heart and used a situation to reveal to me when I am not exhibiting a humble attitude. I have to be open to that and let God help me. We all need the grace of God. We are unable to walk in humility on our own, and until we understand our weakness, God won’t be able to help us.

Mike: I think one of the things that exacerbates that particularly in modern ministry is that many people who are in ministry are so well trained in so called “skills of ministry.” So, in a sense, they're depending on self and they're depending on their abilities. I know that is my testimony and in ministry we all have different talents that God has given us, but He doesn't expect us to be depending on our own ability in order to have the power to transform lives.

Jeff: No, and really in 2000 years the pride of men and the way it causes men to fall away has not changed. Usually God must bring us through some hard trials to teach us true humility.

Mike: Yeah. And even oftentimes failure. That's been my experience and I'm grateful for it. Let's look at a second thing. We can see how weak teachings that only produce more head knowledge or efforts rooted in our own striving are in helping us overcome pride and developing a meek and lowly heart.

Jeff: Well yea. When you think about it, the disciples walked closely with Jesus for three years. And during that duration of time, He was regularly teaching them the ways of humility. But all that external teaching didn't produce humility. So we could learn about humility from someone at a seminar or we could do studies on humility, but just having head knowledge of a godly attribute is not going to bring us to a place of overcoming pride in our lives.

Mike: What does have to take place inside of a person to be able to walk in humility?

Jeff: One thing we see in Scripture is Jesus leading by example. He showed His disciples what it looked like to walk in humility. The greatest example I can think of is when He washed their feet. And then He told them to follow His example. I know that's what helps me, because outside of the action of humility I don't have a way to define it or even begin to understand it. I have nothing to compare it with. But I can look at Jesus, learn from His example and then simply enter into His yoke. Once I do that, I am able to learn to walk as He walked, because He gives me the grace to do it.

Mike: I want to put an exclamation point on something that you just said. We don't have Christ-like humility in ourselves. Humility is a combination of all the different aspects of Jesus’s life and character. It's not the kind of thing that we can produce in self-will. It's something that we must recognize we do not have, and then go to God and ask Him to make us humble.

Jeff: Yeah, basically it takes a miracle that only God can perform and until we come to the place that we see our need for that miracle to come about in our lives, all the teaching in the world isn't going to bring it about.

Mike: The third thing we can learn when we look at the disciples of Jesus is that it is only by the indwelling of Christ in His humility that we can become humble.

Jeff: It's true, and we can see the disciples had the desire. They wanted to do the right thing, but really until Jesus departed and sent them the Holy Spirit to dwell inside of them, they really did not have it in them to do what Jesus was teaching them while He was with them on Earth. But Jesus promised them that when He went away He was going to send them a Helper. I think that through their failures and coming to the place where they finally understood that they didn't have the power of God in themselves, they saw their need for that Helper. They were ready then to say, “Okay Lord, we're going to wait,” because Jesus said, “Wait until you are endued with power from on high.” So they came to the place where they knew, they needed something to happen inside of them and that God had to give it to them. That was the promise of the Holy Spirit. In Jesus’s death, He destroyed the power of the devil. But then in His resurrection, He gives us the power to live that new life.

Mike: Amen. Well, I guess what we could encourage folks to do then is to allow the Lord to search our hearts. Allow Him to show us the areas of our lives where we are not showing the humility of Christ. Then we must be willing to acknowledge that that's true about us and ask the Lord to change our hearts.

Jeff: Yes. And in my own personal life, God has been challenging me to believe Him for that. Because sometimes we can see through a situation we are going through how much pride we still have, but God does not want us to despair in those times. He wants us to acknowledge it, go to Him and believe that He has provided His Holy Spirit to help walk as He walked. That is the promise of the Gospel, that we will be transformed into His image and into His character.

When a person believes that freedom from sexual sin is impossible for them, it often leads to feelings of despair and hopelessness. We looked at common things inside us that lead to these feelings in our last episode and showed how they prevent us from gaining freedom. This week, we’ll identify five crucial steps that a person must take if they want to walk in true liberty from sin and what it looks like to put those into practice.

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What does a wife do if she is struggling to forgive her husband for his sexual sin? What is the distinction between forgiving him and trusting him again? Kathy Gallagher addresses these questions and more from her own personal experience.

Kathy, we want to deal with a question today from a woman who has struggled with forgiving her husband. In fact, she wrote "I realize it takes time to forgive your husband, but I'm still struggling. What can I do?" What would you share with a woman who's still struggling with that issue?

That is a big issue for a lot of women who have been hurt by their husband's sexual sin. It's a pretty deep wound and it takes time for a woman to process through all her emotions. I'd say probably the biggest thing that they have to fight through is the forgiveness issue. It doesn't come easily to a lot of women. It's very hard to put it behind you. I consider forgiveness a gift. I remember when Steve came to me and repented for his sin. It came immediately for me. I really didn't struggle very much with forgiving him. I wanted to forgive him and I think that was probably a big thing. But it's a gift. Forgiveness is a gift from God. We don't as human beings carry that around in our hearts. It's not inherent.

Is the fact that someone is struggling with forgiveness necessarily mean that they don't want to forgive?

No, you can want to and still struggle with it; but a lot of the women that I've dealt with confuse forgiveness with trust, and I think that's a big issue. In fact, I just was counseling a lady a couple weekends ago and her problem isn't that she is holding it against him or reminding him of it - those are characteristics of someone who has not forgiven. They keep bringing the past up, they keep rubbing their husband's nose in it, reminding him of the hurt and the pain that he's done to them.

But a woman who is struggling with trust is different. She's not necessarily holding the past against him, but it's hard to forget what's been done. I always counsel women not to confuse the two. In forgiveness, you let the person's debt go; you let them go free in your heart; you're not going to hold it against them anymore; you're not going to keep rubbing their nose in it, reminding them how they have failed; you're going to war against bitterness that wants to well up in your heart. Those are things that you can do. Trusting someone is something that the other person really has to work on. If your husband has sinned against you, he's the one that needs to work on trust.

So it's something that has to be rebuilt?

Yeah, absolutely. Just because you're questioning what is going on doesn't mean you're not forgiving. Because a woman is naturally going to be afraid of it happening again, she'll ask questions. I know I did with Steve. You come home from work, "how is your day?" You try to ask discreet questions without coming right out say and saying "did you fall?"

Right. I think sometimes the husbands would just rather you come out and ask.

Well I think they would rather you didn't say anything at all. A lot of men - most men I would say - want to just act like this never happened, "OK. I have repented. Let's move on." I understand that. I understand the heart of a man wanting to do that, but a man needs to understand the heart of a woman.

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Do men usually understand the need to rebuild trust?

No, often they just want to move on. They want to act like it didn't happen. But men, listen. It doesn't happen like that. It really does take time to build trust and that is the husband's responsibility. There are things that he needs to do to build that trust. But for the wife that's listening - and the husband is not - what you need to do is look at his life. Yes, you're going to struggle with trust, but if you're looking at his life and you're seeing him being faithful to the Lord - he's going to God every day in prayer, you see him trying, he wants to make it - you need to get behind him and support him. Try as best as you can to keep your fears to yourself because there's nothing he can do about that. For a woman to go to her husband and try and get him to placate her fears is the wrong path to go. He's not the one you should be going to.

Instead, she absolutely needs to go the Lord. If your husband tells you a thousand times a day "Honey, I love you. Everything is wonderful. I'm not going to sin," fear is still going to be there because the husband is not the one to deal with it. The Lord is the one to deal with it, and you have to present that to God, "Lord I'm struggling. You've got to help me."

How important is communication between the husband and the wife in rebuilding this trust?

It is so important and this is another area where men tend to not be real big on the communication thing. Husbands need to understand that communication is relationship to a woman. It is the relationship. If I could scream out one thing to men and women that is the most important - I actually don't even need to tell this to women, women already know this - but one thing I would say to men is that communication is the most important thing you can do for your marriage, especially one where the trust has been broken. Communication is so, so important.

Thank you for drawing that distinction between a lack of forgiveness and a lack of trust. I'm sure that'll be a help to a lot of women who have really wondered if they have forgiven their husband. Kathy Gallagher, thanks so much.

To access our podcast library, visit purelifeministries.org/media, or check us out in the iTunes store or Google Play store.

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We’re  taking a break from producing a new episode this week as we get settled,  following a wonderful time at our Annual Conference this past weekend. This  replay is one of our favorites from our 20 Truths series, and we hope it’s a blessing to you. In it, we’ll  define hedonism, and look at its close connection with sexual sin. Much of  today's church lives more to please self than to honor Jesus, and it’s this  kind of lifestyle which opens the door for sexual sin. If you haven't  listened through the whole 20 Truths series before, we’d also encourage you to go back and listen  to that series. Just look for episodes 363-364 and 366-381.

Resources

• 20 Truths Series (Video Series) By Steve Gallagher

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Gladys Decker tried to remain calm but it was useless. She knew full well the high stakes involved. Facing the opportunity of a lifetime, she could lose the entire savings her late husband had left her if the plan backfired. On the other hand, the possibilities of such a lucrative return held her in a state of breathless and fixed exhilaration.

Charles Ponzi had told Gladys that a $55,000 investment with his Securities Exchange Company would yield her a 50% return within 45 days—a quick profit of $27,500! She could afford a brand new Model T Ford! Maybe she would even buy one of those grand houses on the north side of Boston! Gladys’ growing feeling that she would miss such an opportunity quickly drowned out her nagging concerns. “I’ll go to the bank today!” she announced to herself. Unfortunately, Gladys Decker would never see her life savings again. She, along with ten thousand other unwitting souls, had been taken in by what later became known as the Ponzi Scheme. (1)

The success of Charles Ponzi’s charade can be directly attributed to his genius at manipulating people. Exuding a quiet confidence, he understood that in order to get people to give him their money, he would have to deftly manage their conflicting emotions of fear and greed. Ponzi had a way of using words to throw such a false light on the subject that people would lose their ability to perceive the inherent dangers in the investment.

While soothing away their fears with his charm, he simultaneously fanned the flames of their insatiable lust for instant gain. He knew the best way to quiet a person’s suspicions was to dangle the anticipated payoff before their eyes—the proverbial carrot. The hidden inner workings of greed would do the rest.

The story of Charles Ponzi is a very poignant illustration of how Satan coaxes people into sin; for with every temptation always come the same basic components.

1. The Tempter

First, there is the tempter. Gladys Decker, though clearly naïve, was in no danger of losing her savings until a slick conman named Charles Ponzi came along. The enemy of our souls is also quite adept at timing his temptation. His devils will often leave a man alone for a period of time. The man might even become confident in the belief that he has overcome sinful habits of the past. Then, when the enemy sees the opportunity, he will set his wicked plan into motion. No wonder the apostle Paul warned his readers to prepare themselves for such times. “Put on the full armor of God,” he told the Ephesians, “so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.” (6:11)

I believe we underestimate the enemy’s vast knowledge of a person’s inner life. For example, he knows when a married man’s hormones are raging because he has not had relations with his wife for a period of time. He will often wait to spring his trap until the man becomes highly sensitized to sexual stimuli or perhaps when he is alone and vulnerable.

Demons are also proficient at preparing people for susceptibility to temptation. For instance, a demon might bring discouraging circumstances into a man’s life, knowing this will weaken his resolve to withstand temptation. The enemy will also use sexual influences to prepare a victim for temptation. He might even arrange an elaborate array of situations—an explicit scene on television, a scantily dressed girl next door, etc.—to weaken a man morally before introducing the real temptation.

2. The Bait

Although devils are masters at luring people into sin, they must first have something desirable to offer. In order to get a person to take their bait, they must offer something he already wants. Ponzi masterfully played on Gladys’ own greed to entice her to give him money.

The enemy understands that different people are prone to different temptations. James said, “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.” (James 1:14) Every human being has a unique fallen nature with its “own lust.” Each person’s flesh is drawn to different types of sin. A man may have no attraction to cocaine but be overwhelmingly fascinated by sexual things. A woman may have no desire for immorality but be easily led into envy or gossip. The enemy knows his prey and sets before him just the right piece of bait.

3. The Lies

Lastly, falsehood and deceit always accompany the bait. Charles Ponzi knew that dangling the carrot in front of Gladys would not, in itself, be enough to coax her to action. He also had to present a plausible scenario of profit—all done with “smoke and mirrors,” of course. In my book, At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry, I described the deceptive presentation of sin:

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“Solomon said, ‘For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and smoother than oil is her speech,’ (Proverbs 5:3). This phrase describes how the devil presents temptation. Honey represents promised fulfillment. The temptation seems irresistible because it is laced with the deception that the act of sin will bring about tremendous pleasure and satisfaction. The tantalizing thought is presented, all is forgotten and the act of sexual sin looks absolutely intoxicating and therefore irresistible. The smooth oil represents the craftiness of the enemy… Fully camouflaged and extremely calculating, they launch the perfect illusion, timing each consecutive attack ‘to steal, and kill, and destroy’ God's property.”

Every temptation will undoubtedly have these same three components: the tempter, the bait and the accompanying lies. Believers can prepare themselves to successfully face the enemy’s allurements toward sin by watching out for this wicked trio. When they show up at your doorstep together, you should know you are about to be tested. I conclude this article with the following words from Alexander MacLaren:

“So, dear friend, these two stand before you. On one side the Sorceress with a smile on her lips, a lie on her tongue, and a knife in her sleeve. Do not go into her house. ‘The dead are there; and her guests are in the depths of Hell.’ On the other side stands Jesus Christ who has died to ‘redeem our souls from’ her ‘deceit and violence’; and trusting in whom we may all say: ‘My soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers. The snare is broken and I am escaped.’”

(1) A fictional account based on real-life events.

In this new Ask the Counselor episode, we continue looking at sins which are closely tied to sexual addiction. Today we’ll look at self-pity, covetousness, self-righteousness and living by our feelings. While on the surface these issues may seem unrelated, they are still sins that must be dealt with if a person is ever to experience genuine freedom over their sexual addiction.

Jordan Yoshimine exposes one of the myths that many Christians believe, that you can have be a genuine Christian and still have your own life in this world.

Jordan Yoshimine is Assistant Director of Counseling at the Residential Program here at Pure Life Ministries, and part of the senior leadership team. We're teaching in this episode the truth that the root cause behind a man who is addicted to pornography, or engaged in some other form of sexual sin, is that he has an enormous self-life; he is the center of his own little universe. We asked Jordan to speak about a particular lie that is prevalent in the church today, because it is everywhere in our culture.

The myth that we’re talking about today is, “I can have my own life in this world and be a Christian as well.” I really believe that it's a complete lie from the devil, and it's dragging people, good people, good professing Christians to hell, because they don't know any better. They're just going along with the flow of what's happening in the church today; they're going to church and really experiencing God in a way that God did not intend them to worship.

Something is terribly wrong in the church today, when over half of all married men in the Evangelical church are in some kind of sexual sin, and nearly 80 percent of young men view porn regularly. The church is no longer the spotless bride of Christ; she's an adulteress. We are no better than Israel, playing the harlot by pursuing our idols. Jordan shows us that the problem is clearly taught in Scripture.

The church as God intended was supposed to influence and change the world, and what we're finding today is that the world is coming into the church and influencing the church. And as I said before, that's just not Scriptural. In Matthew 10:39 it says,  “Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” And throughout Scripture this message is forefront, that you're going to have to lose your life in this world. In Luke 9:23 it says we need to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow the Lord. But it says, “die daily!” We need that daily death to self, and what's being promoted in the Church today is the message that “Hey, you can be a Christian, but have everything that you want in this life as well!”

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We live in a me-centered culture. It has infected our core beliefs, and what we regard as sin. In the area of sexuality, now anything and everything goes.

You can see it in laws that are being passed, in the cultural shift, in sexuality, it's all about self, and it is all about pleasing self. It is all about, “hey, what's good for you is alright as long as it doesn't impact me; You can do what you want, be whatever you want to be, dress how you want to dress, be whatever sex that you want to be…” This is a sad mindset, but tragically, it's permeating the Church.

And what is the result of this extreme self-centeredness? What happens when you can't tell a Christian by his lifestyle from his unsaved neighbor? Jesus prayed that His disciples would not come out of the world, but they would be protected from its influence. Both James and John warned that being a friend of the world makes us an enemy of God. What happens when the idolatry of this world takes over our lives? Jesus told us. Matthew 16:26 says “What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world yet forfeits his soul, or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?” And, a lot of times we think that verse applies to unbelievers only, but I think it's talking to believers, it's saying, “what is it going to profit you if you marry yourself to the world and you lose your soul?”

Yeah, that is a good question, because a lot of people go to church, they sit in a pew, they tithe, they’re in a bible study or a small group during the week, and yet, they are married to the world. They've given themselves over to things that might not seem like sin—extravagant vacations, or obsessing over sports, or their kids—it doesn’t seem like sin but if you take a long hard look you can see the idolatry in their lives.  Exodus 20:3 says very clearly, “thou shall not have any gods before me.” Again, look at the reality of their lives. They call themselves Christians but they'll still skip Sunday service to watch the World Series or the Superbowl or golf or whatever. Or maybe they say, “I'm going to skip church because my son has a soccer game today”, or “my kids have a game on Wednesday night so we're not going to go to church.” God specifically commands that we don't put anything before Him. When we take all those little choices cumulatively over a lifetime…man, I don't want to be standing in front of God on judgment day and hear “Depart from Me. I never knew you.” God isn’t going to say that to complete heathens. He’s going to say that to people who did a lot of things in His name. And the consequence of allowing the world into the church and telling people that they can have both is that many are going to stand in front of Jesus once day and He's going to say, “Depart from Me. I never knew you.” And people are going to be grieved, because they weren't taught that—how few people were saying “you need to look at how you're living your life in this world. Not just the big sins but everything else in life.”

Just to give a quick background here, Jordan is no stranger to this subject. He grew up in Anaheim, California, the home of Disneyland. He was grew up in the church as a pastor's son, but everything about his life was driven by the world. He was obsessed with pleasure, obsessed with entertainment, movies, sports, food, everything to feed the flesh. When his sexual sin started, it completely dominated his life for years. He left the church and was gone for a long time. When he came back to the church, he continued in sexual sin, did not cut himself off from worldly influences. Jordan, how did that life work out for you?

Not very well. It didn't work out. For about a decade I was living the double life, going to church, being a Sunday school teacher, being a youth director, leading church camps, etc., but I was also fully engrossed in myself! Not just sexual sin, but drinking, partying, buying clothes, spending all kinds of money, I just did whatever I wanted to do. Eventually I got to the point where I said, “Ok, either I can keep living the life or just go headlong into my sin,” and I just chose my sin. I wanted my sin more than I wanted God. And yet, throughout the next three decades, I would still profess to be a Christian, and even sent a Bible to one of my drinking buddies! What! So ridiculous!  I mean, what kind of testimony did I have? I had none.

I came back to church in 2005, and then went on staff in 2007, and was on staff for three years before my sin got exposed again…. Yeah, I was able to cultivate a double life again, and I felt like “if I just repented and kept repenting, that God would honor that.” But yet, I wasn't denying my flesh.

And what is the inevitable result of being utterly worldly in our hearts, while maintaining the fake Christian veneer?

I mean, the answer's simple. It’s a life and death question. Life with Jesus or life without Him. I don't like to be the hell and brimstone type of guy, but there's a reality to that. “God will not be mocked,” Galatians 6 says. “He who sews to the flesh will reap corruption of the flesh.” So, if we continue sowing to the our flesh, then where are we going to stand on Judgment Day? Were we really ever Christians, if we can continually do things are so displeasing to the Lord or not glorifying Him, and actually pointing people away from the Lord?

A real Christian life is possible. There is real life in relationship to Jesus Christ, and it is abundant life. Jordan, finish our time together by giving a testimony to what your life is like now. No longer married to this world, what it is like to be wed by faith to Jesus Christ.

Revelations 21 says that when we see Him face to face, He'll wipe away every tear. There will be no pain, no sorrow, no more striving. Man, that's something to look forward to. If you come to Jesus, “all who are weak and heavy laden and I will give you rest, there is rest for our souls. His yoke is easy, His burden is light.” If we will only submit ourselves and humble ourselves, and allow Him to guide us and direct us,  there is rest. And it says in John, “the fullness of His joy.” He wants to complete our joy. He wants to make it full. I always thought joy was an emotion; joy is not an emotion like happiness. Joy is something much deeper, and much more profound than any emotion can ever describe. Joy in the Lord! And making that joy complete is a knowledge and an assurance and a confidence in who the Lord is, what he's done for you, what the Cross means, all of that! And I have that choice now, whereas before, I was tossed to and fro like a wave, because I was just guided by my emotions. The Lord wants to give us life and life abundantly.

If you're thinking, “Ok, I can either choose Jesus or try this whole ‘Jesus and the world too’ I will tell you what it’s going to be like. It’s going to be life abundantly if you follow God, but if you choose to marry yourself to the world or try to have both, then you're going to allow Satan to kill, steal and destroy.

When you come into his rest, when you finally surrender, when you finally admit your weakness, and your inability to do anything on your own—2 Corinthians 12:9-10 becomes a reality. “His grace is sufficient. His strength is perfected in our weakness. When I am weak, I am strong.” When we understand that we just cannot do it, that we do need to deny ourselves, that we do need to be bondservants as Peter and James and Paul said, completely surrendered to the Lord; no dreams, ambitions, anything of our own, and completely allow the Holy Spirit to indwell us and guide and direct us, there is just so much that God wants to give us, and give to His Church. He is longing for His Church to surrender and separate themselves from the world so He can give them the fullness of who He is, and give them peace and rest and joy and boldness and creativity—and all of these things, all these different facets of Jesus and the Lord, that He wants to give the Church, if only we will start denying ourselves. If we will say, “No longer I, Christ who lives within me.”

This excerpt is from our podcast episode, "The Root of Sexual Addiction Probably Isn’t what You Think it is." Episode 371.

To access our full podcast library, visit purelifeministries.org/purity-for-life, or check us out in the iTunes store or Google Play store.

The 1969 Chicago Cubs began the season at a sizzling pace, winning 11 of their first 12 games. To the delight of their playoff-starved fans, the Cubs had built a 9 ½-game lead over the upstart New York Mets by mid-August. It seemed as though the Cubs would coast into the playoffs yet, inexplicably, that’s when the freefall began. In a matter of two weeks, their once unassailable lead had dwindled to two games. Rather than regroup at that point and fight back, the Cubs continued to plummet. By the end of the season, the choking team from the Windy City finished 8 games behind the surging Mets, the eventual world champions. It was arguably the worst collapse a Major League Baseball team has ever experienced.

The baseball season, extended over a grueling 162-game schedule, allows for the inevitable surges and slumps that come with the game and provides ample time for the quality teams to rise to the top. A strong charge at the beginning of the season certainly helps establish a winning attitude and good habits in the clubhouse. However, dashing out ahead of the pack can also bring with it the danger of complacency.

And so it is with the Christian life. So many times we have witnessed an enthusiastic new believer rush out—Bible in hand—sharing his spiritual discoveries with anyone who will listen to him, only to find him completely backslidden a year later. The fact is that the Christian life is not a 50-yard dash; it is a long marathon.

Despite Solomon’s vast wisdom, he never seemed to grasp this essential truth, making his life certainly one of the most tragic failures found in Scripture. Though raised in what must have been one of the godliest homes ever, Solomon was ill-prepared to face the one source of temptation that nearly destroyed his father: SEX!  The Israelite king made the classic mistake of using his position to multiply sex partners for himself—reminiscent of today’s Christian man who does the same through pornography. Solomon’s life illustrates four important spiritual principles that are worth noting.

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1. Lust is never satisfied—ever

At the height of Solomon’s fame, he had 300 wives and 700 concubines, yet in Ecclesiastes he wrote, “Better is the sight of the eye than the wandering of the desire. This also is grasping for the wind.” In a modern sense, no matter how many sexual images a man views, he will never find fulfillment through illicit sex. In my book, At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry, I wrote the following:

“Lustful living is hellish living. Again, lust is demanding and never satisfied. The more one feeds the beast, the more ravenous it becomes. Perhaps the allergic reaction to poison ivy would illustrate the intense craving for immorality some are consumed by. The body becomes covered with a rash which incites intense itching. If the person scratches the infected area, he risks the possibility of making it worse and spreading it to other parts of his body. If he does not scratch it, he feels as though he might go insane! Yet, even if he grated it with a metal file, a few minutes later it would itch all the more.”

2. Habitual immorality always leads the person into the Kingdom of Darkness

We are told that “when Solomon was old, his wives turned his heart away after other gods; and his heart was not wholly devoted to the Lord…” (1 Kings 11:4)

So it is with the Christian porn addict. He thinks he is safely dabbling on the edges of Satan’s kingdom. Though he tells himself that he is in control and can stop his behavior whenever necessary, it is all part of the deception of sin. Just like undercurrents pulling an empty bottle out to sea, so too the porn addict does not realize that he is being dragged inexorably into the Kingdom of Darkness.

3. Sin always demands total allegiance from its abuser

Solomon likely made a regular pretense of worshipping at the newly constructed Temple of Jehovah, but the high places to demonic gods erected on the Mt. of Olives—directly across the Kidron Valley—revealed the truth about his heart: he had become an idolater, forsaking the Living God.

It is much the same for the modern man who sings hymns to God on Sunday while viewing the filthy images of pornography during the week. In utter delusion, he convinces himself that he loves the Lord but just has a “struggle” with porn. This exaggeration of one’s spiritual life coupled with minimization of sin is another typical aspect of sin’s deceitful nature. If he were healed of his spiritual blindness, he would realize the awful truth—that he has given his heart to the enemy. He might persuade himself into believing that he is truly following Christ while also living in debauchery and deception, but Jesus said, “No man can serve two masters.” The notion that we can live simultaneously in God’s and Satan’s kingdoms is absurd. It is a spiritual impossibility.

4. Without true repentance, apostasy is the inevitable outcome

This is the last, but most sobering, principle. The very fact that the high places remained perched atop the Hill of Transgression for years to come indicates that Solomon died an apostate. What a tragedy! His ship was entering the harbor. The port was in sight. But in spite of the warning beacons all around, his faith suffered shipwreck in the final years of his life.

Thankfully, it is never too late for a backslider to repent. But, the worst mistake one can make, in any season of life, is to put this repentance off until a more convenient time. The truth is that the longer one remains in sin, the more calloused and unreachable becomes the heart.

Yes, there is a reason God made this life a marathon—a 162-game season. Our life in this world is a trial—a test to prove whether or not we truly love Him. Perseverance and endurance (which the ’69 Chicago Cubs failed to maintain) are essential components of the Christian experience. With the playoffs in sight and the pennant race on the line, the Cubs folded up, leaving their devoted fans feeling disappointed and disillusioned.

We too have a race before us and fans cheering us on. Perhaps this is what the writer of Hebrews had in mind when he wrote: “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus...” (12:1-2) The race is only for this short life. The stakes: life-and-death. The prize at the end: eternal life with Jesus.

Our Purity for Life segment this week looks again at the subject of humility. Last week we looked at Jesus' own example of a humble lifestyle. Today Jeff and Mike look at this vital subject in Jesus’ teachings.

Mike: This week, we want to talk about humility in the teachings of Jesus. Let’s just start off by talking about Jesus' overall ministry and what His message was as He began His ministry here on earth.

Jeff: Well, we see it from nearly the beginning of Jesus’s ministry when He gave the Sermon on the Mount that humility was one of Jesus’s greatest teachings. One of the things He said in the beginning of the sermon was “Blessed are the meek.” And from the beginning to the end of His ministry, He was always trying to convey that spiritual truth to His disciples and to others. As human beings, we naturally oppose the spirit of humility, the same spirit that Jesus displayed throughout His life.

Mike: You mentioned the word meekness. In our current culture, especially as men, the term meek is just something that we are repulsed by. We think, “I'm not meek, I'm a man.” Since we have been ingrained with this false idea of what meekness and humility truly are, how do we begin to understand them biblically?

Jeff: First, we need to realize that Jesus is inviting us to draw near to Him so that He can teach us. In Matthew 11:29 He says, “Come all you who are weary, and I will give you rest. Learn from me.” In other words, I want to teach you because I am meek and lowly. Basically, Jesus is saying to come enter His yoke and follow Him so that He can teach us what it means to walk as He does.

Mike: What motivated Jesus to be humble?

Jeff:  It’s His nature. God is love, and love is always willing to yield itself and give itself for another. It's willing to serve. It puts another’s needs above its own. It is God's nature. We don't think of it that way because He's such an all-powerful and Mighty God, but yet He's humble and He's willing to humble Himself.

Mike: He sent His own Son in the form of a man to die on a cross; how could his nature be anything but humble? It's almost hard to wrap your mind around it when you think about it. But that really leads us into what I want to talk about next, which is how Jesus interacted with His disciples. Because this idea of humility is something it took them a while to understand and apply to their lives.

Jeff: It was obvious that they had issues humbling themselves. We see many times in the Scriptures where Jesus was with them and they were arguing about who was going to be the greatest or who would sit at His right hand. It was a common theme amongst them, and yet really, when we look at our own lives we see the same attitude of the disciples inside of us.

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Mike: When they had an argument about who was going to be the greatest in the Kingdom of God, how did Jesus respond to that?

Jeff: Well, there were many times Jesus would teach on what true humility was. I remember He was at a Pharisee’s house, and He told a parable about guest that was invited to take the better place at the table.
Now he told a parable to those who were invited, when he noticed how they chose the places of honor, saying to them, “When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, do not sit down in a place of honor, lest someone more distinguished than you be invited by him, and he who invited you both will come and say to you, ‘Give your place to this person,’ and then you will begin with shame to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at table with you. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted. (Luke 14:7-11 ESV)
       I feel like in a roundabout way, He was trying to help His disciples see that it's not about who gets the best seat at the table. He taught them what it means to exercise humility. He told them it is better for you to take the lower place and then if God chooses to, He will elevate you to a higher position.
I think about how we as people often try to climb the ladder of success. Jesus saw that heart in the Pharisees and that is why many times He gave them examples where the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven was the one who was willing to come down the ladder and go the opposite direction that the world teaches us to go.

Mike: Jesus dealt with the disciples again at the Passover. Talk a little bit about what the issue was there.

Jeff: We see even at the Last Supper. His disciples were there again arguing at the table. And Jesus, in an act of such humility, took off His robe and girded Himself just like a servant would and knelt to wash the disciples’ feet. Then He told them, “As I have done to you, you also should do to one another.” In other words, He wanted them to be servants of all. Right up to the very end He was teaching them that they should all be willing servants.

Mike: As I look at my own life, I think of how if I had truly grasped what He was teaching the disciples here, which was to be a servant to all, I would have avoided many difficult situations. And He teaches us because He knows that this isn't what comes natural to us. He knows that true humility isn't part of our nature.
Now I'd like for you to talk a little bit from personal experience. What has it been like for you to learn what true humility is through the teachings of Jesus?

Jeff: God has saw fit to put me in different positions here at the ministry. It has drove me to Him and the reality that I can't do this without the Lord. But I also have had to be very careful that I didn't see my position as something to lord over people, or something I had to possess. I’ve had to realize that my position really is to serve. That's how I try to look at my position. Jesus also looked at His position as a place of servanthood. So my prayer has become, “Lord, let me always put others’ needs before my own.” My role is really about me helping them do the best that they can do and serving them however I can. And I want to do that. Whether it's to pray for them or just encourage them, I never want to lose sight of the fact that God has called me to serve.

Mike: I appreciate you sharing that. And it goes to show again, this doesn't come natural to us. But as you've expressed, the only way you were able to be a servant was to turn to Jesus. He is the only one that can instill humility in us through His life living in us.

Jeff: It's true. If we understand that humility is one of our greatest needs, and we go to Jesus believing in what He shows us and then yield to what he teaches us about humility, then He gives us what we don't have in ourselves. He can impart His humility and His love into our hearts, and He will come and live in that way in a heart that wants His humility.

Mike: Amen, I want to highlight what you just said there. We must want His humility to be imparted to us. It's a matter of choice that we make. We must choose to yield our hearts to that.

Jeff: And the invitation is still there. Jesus is still speaking today. He is still inviting anyone that will listen to enter His yoke and learn from Him. I would just invite anyone to come to Jesus and learn this precious gift of humility that involves losing your life for other people.

The 22nd Annual Pure Life Ministries Conference is coming up April 22nd & 23rd and will be hosted in the Answers Center at the Ark Encounter in Williamstown, KY. In this episode, we want to give you a taste for the kinds of powerful teachings you can expect at this event by playing a sermon preached by Steve Gallagher at our 2019 conference. We hope it will bless you, and that you will consider joining us this April.

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Resources

• Find out more about our 22nd Annual Conference

In this segment, Jeff Colón examines the life of Jesus, and how He lived in relationship to His Father, and to the will of the Father. We find that Jesus example serves as a model for what it means to live the Christian life.

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Mike: As we continue our series on humility, we want to look today at the humility displayed in the life of Jesus. I don't know any better place to look in the Word of God than to Jesus as our example of humility. When He would have discussions with the disciples and they were a mess spiritually, Jesus was still very gracious in the way that He dealt with them. We find one example in Luke 22:27 when He said, “Normally, the master sits at the table and is served by His servants, but not here for I am your servant.” We want to talk a little bit about what Jesus was expressing here, what motivated Him and what was in His heart. What do we learn about humility in respect to what Jesus shared with His disciples in this passage in Luke?

Jeff: Well, Mike, you're right, when you say the only way we can understand humility is to look at Jesus and the way He lived His life. As we look at him in the context of this verse, and really His whole life while He was here on the earth, we come to understand that His whole life revolved around letting the Father be everything. Basically, the Greek word for servant used in Luke 22:27 means slave or bond servant. Jesus resigned Himself to come under the Father in that way. And that's why He could say, when you've seen me, you've seen the Father.

Mike: We’ve been looking at humility in some previous discussions, and we've already defined it as a person’s simple consent to let God be everything and surrendering to His purpose for their lives. And we really see that in the gospel of John, where Jesus Himself says that without my Father, I can do nothing. Let's look at some of the things that Jesus said in the Gospel of John about that and see if there is a contrast working in our own lives.

Jeff: It's so amazing in the book of John how many times Jesus made statements that really show us what it means to be emptied of self. He said he did nothing without consulting the Father and that his teachings were not His own ideas. He said he could do nothing on his own and even that the words He spoke were not His own. To me it's just a picture that the Father completely had control of Him, but Jesus surrendered Himself to the Father in that way.

Mike: Some of the things you mentioned like when Jesus said in John 5:19, “The Son can do nothing by Himself,” make me just think about how often I can read that verse and say, “Yeah, I believe I can't do anything without God.” But in reality, I wonder how often in my daily life I actually live with that kind of dependency upon God for what I am doing.

Jeff: Yeah, that's so true for all of us, and I'll even take it a step further. When He says, “I can do nothing of myself,” I almost think it's more in the sense that He can't do anything against the Father's will. It’s not like He was just weak, and didn’t have the ability in Himself, because I believe Jesus had all the power of heaven at His disposal. Even when He was on the cross, He could have called angels down from heaven. When He says that He can't do anything of Himself, I see it more that if anything would go against the will of the Father, then Jesus couldn’t do it.

Mike: Well. In fact, in John 5:30 it says, “I do nothing without consulting the Father.”

Jeff: Yeah, and we just don't realize how often we go about our daily lives without consulting God about things when really, we should be consulting Him about everything.

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Mike: In John 14:10 Jesus says, “The words I say are not My words, but the Father who lives in Me does His work through Me.” The cry of my heart is, Lord Please let my words be your words, because the Holy Spirit is constantly showing me how many words come out of my mouth that I know are not from the Lord.

Jeff: I know for myself I want to become nothing so that the Father can become everything and that everything I say would glorify Him and be His heart towards people. That's what I want in my life.

Mike: Well, let's talk about that for a minute, because really what we're talking about is this idea of fully surrendering. This is much more than the American religiosity that most of us have grown up in. It is a complete surrender of everything about us. I mean we've got to be honest with ourselves, our flesh is not in agreement with that. The idea of giving up my autonomy, giving up control of my life and the direction of my life, there's something in us that does not want that.

Jeff: It's our fallen nature that rebels against that and somehow believes that freedom and joy is found in doing what I want to do. But if you think about it, God created us to know Him and worship Him. It was for His purpose and unless we're living for His purpose and His will, we will never have true peace or Joy and we will never really find what we are looking for because we were made for God. Peace and joy come about in a completely different way than we’d expect. True freedom, true peace and true joy stem out of a full surrender to the Lord.    

Mike: And the intimacy Jesus had with Father was only because He walked in humility and surrender to the Father's will.

Jeff: That’s so true. Jesus didn't lose anything by giving everything to the Father, and the case will be the same for us if we choose to give Him everything.

Mike: What does it really mean to deny ourselves and follow Him?

Jeff: Well the Lord has helped me with this in my own personal life. Years ago, when someone told me to deny myself, pick up my cross, and follow Jesus, it really helped me to understand some things about God’s design and purpose for me. I am a vessel God wants to fill and what I need to realize is that in myself, I really have no value other than what my value is to God. So it's better to do away with myself, which is what denying yourself means. Practically, it means to look away from trusting anything good in myself, or in my own abilities. I need to crucify the old man with his deeds and everything that has to do with the flesh and allow God to fill me and work His will through me.

Mike: Yeah. And really, we’re not giving up anything that's worthwhile anyway. To be able to do that we've got to at least come to the place of being willing to acknowledge that God and only God is good, and everything that we possess of any value comes from Him.

Jeff: There's a verse in Hebrews where it talks about Jesus’s life and it says, “Behold you have prepared a body for me to do your will oh God.” When we really understand that our bodies were prepared just like Jesus’s body, to do the Father's will and to glorify Him, we will understand that we were created to glorify God with our bodies.