Anyone who takes a deep look at Jesus will realize that He was not an ordinary man. He was full of a love that was pure and otherworldly, and it inspired Him to do things that can be very hard for us to understand. But we must continue to look at Him until we see the motivations of His heart rightly. In this sermon, Reverend Dave Leopold unpacks the miracle at the Wedding in Cana and Jesus’ driving out the money changers in the temple. He shows us how both stories reveal the passionate and zealous love which God has for us.

When ensnared in sexual sin, people invariably lie. The obvious reason, of course, is that they don’t want to be caught. If we dig deeper, though, we find that lies are not simply a personal problem, they are an interpersonal problem. The liar is essentially saying, “I am willing to betray the implicit trust you have in me in order to avoid the consequences of my behavior.” Lies are for me and against you. These are motives that can be easily discerned.

Lies also reveal what country we are temporarily calling home. They are the native tongue of the Devil, and they are the natural language of his dark kingdom. In other words, when we lie, we are exposing our spiritual allegiances. We are telling the world who we want as our spiritual father.

Another spiritual fact is that when we tell lies, we also believe lies. Yes, as strange as that can sound, we can believe our own lies. However, there is a deception that is even worse: we actually believe lies about God. A reliable assumption about life is that it is God-ward at all times, whether we are consciously thinking about Him or not. Dig down far enough and you will find that the real root of our behavior revolves around our relationship to and beliefs about God.

One category of lies believed by those in sexual idolatry is that God is like a human being—turbo-charged maybe, like a kind of superman. Look at actual idols (of Far Eastern religions for example) and you will find a few extra hands, suggesting that God can multi-task better than us, or an extra eye or two, suggesting that he sees a little more and is a little smarter than the average human. In order to indulge in sexual sin, we must humanize God. In particular, we have to believe that he can’t see everywhere, everything, at all times.

{{blog-si="/blog-ads-storage"}}

Think about it. If you searched the internet for pornography, would you do it if you knew that your spouse, pastor, mother and children were looking right over your shoulder? No one would do such a thing. Sin thrives only in the dark. It is amazing the self-control a person suddenly acquires when he is in public. What does that indicate about the reality of God in the life of the sexual idolater?

All authentic heart change depends on knowing God truly. Those stuck in sin must hear the question resounding in their spiritual ears, “‘To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?’ says the Holy One.” (Isaiah 40:25) In times past their answer to the question was a lie. He could be compared to someone big, someone with highly acute senses, or someone smart—but not Supreme. Change takes root when they say the truth, “There is no one like you. You alone see all your creation.” Then as they put their trust in the Holy One, in that act of faith they are entering, or re-entering, the kingdom of truth and light.

The book of James tells us to count it all joy when we face trials of many kinds. And the more that we come to understand that the humbling experiences we go through are all for God's glory, the more we can learn to rejoice in our times of struggle and weakness.

‍

Mike: The reality is when we hear the word, ‘humility,’ especially in our current culture, it has a very negative connotation. But the title of our segment today, Humility and Happiness, specifically comes against that idea. I have to admit, happiness is not the first feeling that comes to mind when I think about humility.

Jeff: It's so true. A lot of times we equate humility with a humiliating experience and it's true that it does not always feel like a positive thing. But Paul actually rejoiced in his weaknesses and over the things that grew the spirit of humility in him because through them he learned the secret that humility is the entrance to true happiness. That is where we find the Lord and that is where we come to understand He is everything in our lives. Instead of being afraid of things that will bring about humility in our lives, we really need to learn how to endure as Paul did. And we need to learn how to embrace humbling situations that God allows into our lives to help us get a sight of our weakness and our need for Him.

Mike: God does allow difficult circumstances and we may look at Paul’s life and think to ourselves, “Man, Paul was God's chosen man and look what the Lord took him through.” We look at that and we look at our own difficult experiences and I guess it kind of begs the question, what can we do that will help us to embrace those trials rather than to push ourselves away from them?

Jeff: Well, what sticks out to me is 2nd Corinthians 12. That’s where Paul says that he rejoiced in weakness so that the power of Christ may work through him. But really, I want to say it this way: we get a revelation of who Jesus is in the weak moments where we don't have what it takes and we have to turn to the Lord. We see more of the Lord. We experience more of His power and more of His grace in our lives.
And as you taste that in trials, it helps you embrace those moments of weakness because you begin to understand that's where you are going to find the Lord. That's where you are going to get a greater revelation of who He is. It will lead you to experience a revelation of His grace in your life, and will help you gain a sight of His power and mercy in your life. So, it really does pull you along and help you to embrace those trials.

Mike: I found it kind of works both ways. In receiving a sight of Jesus we begin to embrace humility and in embracing humility we also will gain a greater sight of Jesus.

Jeff: That is absolutely right. If we want to grow in our relationship with the Lord, we have to invite Him into our lives and give Him permission to bring things into our lives that will help us get to know Him in the way that Paul describes in 2nd Corinthians. We need to ask Him to let His fire come into our lives so that He can refine us and bring us to the place of knowing Him so that His power can be perfected in our weakness. We understand through the Scriptures that that is the only way it happens.

Mike: And that's a hard thing to ask. We say that we ought to do that. But in all honesty, that's hard to even get out of my mouth. By asking Him to bring the fire we are basically asking Him to crucify us.

Jeff: Yeah. But we need to remember His promise to us. That is really what we need to hold on to. He said if we count our trials as joy then He is going to produce something in us. And we have to believe that and hold on to it.

Mike: And it has to be rooted in our trust in Him, that He is good and that He has good in His heart for us. If we have a wrong perspective of God, thinking He is just up there to beat us up and make us as miserable as possible, and if we fail to see His promises, then it becomes almost impossible to ask God to do His work in us.

Jeff: It really does rest in our knowledge of His good and merciful character.

Mike: Amen. Well, Paul said that he learned to boast in his weaknesses. How do we know when we look at our own lives that we've learned that lesson?

Jeff: The next time someone criticizes you. Whether it's fair or not, how do you view it? Do you see it as an opportunity to be like Jesus or to draw near to Him? Or do you reject His character in that moment and rise up inside? Really, the way you can gauge if you have learned to boast in your weakness is how you welcome the situations into your life that bring about humility.

Mike: I believe some people who read this will have that very thing happen today or tomorrow to test them. It’s not our natural inclination to respond with joy in those circumstances. I think sometimes when we experience the natural response of the flesh, we think, “Okay, there is no hope for me to grow in this area, I should just give up.” But if we recognize our flesh and stop for a moment to say, “Okay, that's my flesh. But I'm going to choose to listen to the Holy Spirit and I'm going to respond to this by the grace of God the way He is calling me to respond.” That's when God can begin to mature us and help us deal with those situations in the right way.

Jeff: Yeah, that's right Mike. I know one thing that helps me is looking to what the Word of God says. Like, “Count it all joy.” When I'm in a trial, a lot of times the Holy Spirit will bring that Scripture up. He’ll remind me that He wants to produce something in me through it. So, I need to count it all joy. I need to be thankful. I need to understand He’s in that situation and that He wants to bring good out of it. We need to grasp that truth instead of relying on our own thinking and perception of our trials. Trials can be good for us to go through if we let God use them the way He wants to in our lives.

Mike: Well, we used the word train earlier and that's what God is doing. He’s training us. I guess what I am saying is to not get discouraged if tomorrow something happens and you don't automatically respond in joy. As we learn this and as we attempt to walk this out in faith, we gain a greater understanding that that's what's happening. Part of what's going on here and part of what happened in Paul’s life in learning to boast in his weaknesses is that he learned something that we call contentment. What's the secret of contentment?

Jeff: Well, I'm going to share a little testimony regarding this, because I just recently was going through some trials. Each time I go through a trial, I'm learning something about contentment. The bottom line is understanding that it's all for God's glory. It's all for God's good in my life, but more than that, it’s to glorify Him through my life. And when I come to understand that, I really am learning how to be content.
To have a relationship with Jesus with that kind of attitude is true contentment because contentment is knowing I am in His will and that He loves me. His purpose is being fulfilled in my life and I am glorifying Him with my life. So if I could conclude this whole talk on finding happiness in humility I would just say this: learn to be happy in your weaknesses. Learn to be happy in everything that can humble you and keep you low, because then the power of Christ will rest on you.

We’ve all had experiences where someone did something or said something that initially hurt us that turned out in the end to be the best thing for us. We call that tough love, and it is love, even if it doesn’t feel like it. In this episode of our series A Vision of Jesus, Dave Leopold looks at two instances where Jesus treated someone in a way that initially seemed cruel but ultimately worked out for their good. Jesus will do whatever He knows is best for us, because He is full of grace and truth.

Resources

• Responding to Despair and Discouragement (Article) by Steve Gallagher

Thirty years ago, I made a weak-kneed commitment to spend twenty minutes in prayer every morning. At the time, I was carnally-minded, weak in my faith and immature in the Christian life. I had very little resolve in me to fight for a prayer life.

Twenty minutes. It seemed paltry in comparison to the sixteen waking hours I had at my disposal each day and yet every tick of the clock served as a painful reminder of how tedious it felt. I somehow stuck with it, and by the end of that first week, it had become noticeably easier. Little did I realize that within a couple of months it would be such an integral part of my daily existence that I couldn’t imagine life without it.

Within three months of that fledgling commitment, I walked away from a fifteen-year addiction to sexual sin. Within fifteen months, I began the world’s first ministry to sexual addicts. Within two years, I was spending at least an hour in prayer and an hour in the Word of God every morning.

{{blog-bwalk="/blog-ads-storage"}}

When I scan the past thirty years of my life, I can only marvel at all the enormous blessings God has lavished upon me because of this small sacrifice I make for Him every morning.

David said, “Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4) What could be a greater way to “delight yourself in the Lord” than to spend time with Him? The fact of the matter is that our heavenly Father greatly enjoys doing things for His obedient children that will make them happy. What father doesn’t take enormous pleasure in doing something kind for his children? (Of course, he wouldn’t be a good parent if he spoiled his child with unwarranted gifts.)

I know exactly what David meant when he said the Lord “satisfies your years with good things.” (Psalm 103:5) It is true that I have fought countless battles, faced many painful disappointments and experienced my share of suffering. Yet, when I review the last three decades, the Lord’s kindnesses to me dwarf those hardships.

It should go without saying that believers spend time in prayer; it is after all part of being a responsible Christian. However, in this post I want to encourage your commitment to prayer by sharing some of the many benefits I have enjoyed over the years because of my walk with the Lord. I will confine my expressions of gratitude to two basic areas of life.

Prayer Leads to Outward Blessings

The Lord knows “the desires of your heart.” We are all different and He alone knows what would truly be enjoyable and meaningful to each of us. One way, of many, the Lord has blessed me has been to allow me to experience the adventure of overseas travel. Prior to my life with God, the only foray I had made out of the country as an adult was a miserable trip down into Mexico where everything went wrong. That “vacation” is a picture of life for disobedient and prayerless Christians who attempt to bless themselves.

However, once I began to pray the Lord instituted a systematic program in my life of proving His kindness to me. Consider some of the ways He has used overseas travel as a source of blessing to me since I began praying. I have spent ten weeks in Israel, toured Auschwitz and Dachau concentration camps and visited the ruins of New Testament cities throughout Greece and Turkey. I have trekked in the Peruvian Andes, slogged through a Bolivian rainforest, swum in the Pacific Ocean off the coast of El Salvador and caught a marlin off the coast of Mexico. I have slept in a Bedouin tent in the Negev, hiked in David’s old haunts in the Judean wilderness and explored the caves of Cappadocia. I have strolled through Amsterdam, climbed the Acropolis of Athens, traversed Jerusalem, seen the sights of London, experienced the Coliseum and catacombs of Rome, dined in Munich and spent New Year’s Eve in Zurich. I have ministered in Bahrain, Belgium, Bolivia, Canada, Colombia, Czech Republic, El Salvador, England, Germany, Guatemala, Holland, Jordan, Mexico, Nicaragua, Paraguay, Peru, Poland, Romania, and Uruguay. I have preached in a host of prisons including San Quentin, Soledad and Huntsville.

I can honestly say that I didn’t make any of those trips happen—the Lord orchestrated every one of them. If it seems as though I am boasting, I am! But my boast is entirely in the Lord, for this is a small but demonstrable picture of how He blesses those who delight in Him!

Prayer Leads to Inward Blessings

Outward pleasures such as traveling are a colorful way to illustrate how the Lord extends kindness to those who delight in Him, but far more important and meaningful are the inward blessings He bestows. For instance, how much would I have enjoyed those trips if I were miserable inside? Or take it beyond the travel example. How much would it mean to Kathy and me to live in a nice home in the woods if it were filled with strife? How gratifying would it be for me to minister if I was still carnally-minded and full of lust? What would my life have to show for itself if I hadn’t been praying for souls all these years?

The inward joy I experience is admittedly nebulous. I don’t walk around grinning all the time because I am so exuberant inside—although there are certainly times that I am! But on my worst day I have more inward joy than the best day of an unbeliever. I say that because their happy experiences are empty and short-lived. Actually, one of the best places to find cheerful people is in a bar where you will find them engaged in the kind of boisterous activity that often produces uproarious laughter. Yet, the following day finds these same people miserable and empty.

Prayerless Christians may not face the same consequences as partiers do, but they do miss out on the greatest blessings the Christian life has to offer. Only a praying believer can know what it feels like to experience God’s smile. Only a couple who prays together can really experience deep fellowship and a meaningful relationship. There is simply no way to describe the inward fullness that comes with a life of prayer.

After all, it is in one’s prayer closet that a person will often experience the life-giving presence of God. It is there that the Lord instructs His child and leads him in the way to go. It is there that the Word of God opens up to the hungry believer. It is there that the Christian learns the joy of gratitude and true worship. And, of course, it is there that one’s supplications are answered.

I admit that developing a prayer life requires determination. Leonard Ravenhill stated it correctly when he wrote, “Prayer is taxing. Prayer is exacting. Prayer means enduring. Prayer means denying self, a daily dying by choice.” C.S. Lewis added, “Prayer is irksome. An excuse to omit it is never unwelcome. We are reluctant to begin. We are delighted to finish.” Yet for all their forthright admissions regarding the cost involved, both of those men remained faithful in their devotional times throughout their long lives.

Yes, staying faithful in prayer requires dedication and sacrifice, but when you think about it, what is the alternative? A prayerless and fruitless life? No sincere believer would consider that as an option.

One of the biggest hurdles to a vibrant, life in Christ is a thriving self-life. In order to walk in humility, we must daily die to ourselves so that Jesus's resurrection life can be made manifest through ours.

‍

Mike: We want to continue our discussion on humility by talking specifically about humility and death to self in our discussion today. I know for those who may not be familiar with the subject of humility, or have never even thought about this idea of death to self, it can sound like a morbid thing. But it really is an integral part of our faith, and it’s not morbid at all. I’m hoping that we can help people clearly see the way that it’s meant to be understood. I want to begin by asking you a question about the idea of humility and how its purpose is to bring us to a destination. How is that so?

Jeff: Well, it reminds of a scripture in Philippians 2 that we often quote at Pure Life. Verse 5 says, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.” If I just read that, it's like, “Yeah, I want that.” But that leads somewhere. That mindset was leading Jesus somewhere. Ultimately, we see where it led Him when we read verse 8, “Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and He became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.” So, if we really want the mindset of Jesus, we must have a mindset of submission to the Lords will. That mindset is ultimately going to lead us to death to self and an understanding of what it means to carry our own cross.

Mike: We talk about the new life that we have in Christ, but sometimes we forget that the only way to have new life is first to die – to die to self.

Jeff: Exactly. And that is why we must be led down the same pathway Jesus was led down. There is no other way to have the life of Christ. And it really is the only way for our fallen nature to be done away with so that the life of Christ can be lived out in our lives.

Mike: Expand a little bit on why it’s so important for us to embrace death to self.

Jeff: It’s important because those who are not willing to die to self never come into the fellowship of His sufferings. And for that reason, they never really experience true deliverance from self. Unless that voluntary surrender and death to self comes, they will never find the freedom they are looking for.

Mike: With that being so critical for our entering into fellowship with Christ, the obvious question is how do I die to myself? What is practically involved in that?

Jeff: Well, one thing I’ve learned in my own life is that we have to look at the facts squarely. I cannot produce death to self on my own accord. But I can cooperate with God and God shows me in His Word how to cooperate. He gives me many opportunities where I can choose to deny myself and do what He says in His Word. When I do that, I am cooperating with the Holy Spirit and yielding myself to the Lord. Then He is going to do the work in me. We have so many opportunities throughout the day where we can humble ourselves and do what the Word of God tells us. And as we do that, God will honor it and He will use it to reveal Jesus to our hearts. I have learned that to be true in my own life.

Mike: I think one of the things that we see the men struggling with in our Residential Program is that many of them have tried to die to self and they have tried to humble themselves. But they have tried to do it in their own strength, and they have missed the point that they are utterly helpless to do it themselves. On the other hand, some take that reality and make the mistake of thinking they just should not do anything since they cannot do it. But I am so glad that you brought it out that while we are helpless, God still expects us to respond to what He wants to do in us.

Jeff: Oh, absolutely. His desire is to give us everything He has purchased for us through His blood, and we cannot have that unless we experience true death to self.

Mike: I was thinking of another thought as we were just talking about professing believers failing to walk in true humility. Often the world doesn’t see anything in professing Christians that distinguishes them from the rest of mankind. And the reason for this is because they are not seeing a reflection of the humility of Christ in believers.

Jeff: Yeah. And it is very sad. I know in my own life, especially when I have gone home to visit family members that do not know the Lord, I want them to see Jesus in my life. And I have come to understand over the years that I will not be able to present that by talking about Jesus. Instead, they are going to have to see something genuine in my life. It’s sad when family members get around us and they don't see much of the life of Christ displayed through us. Really it's just a result of not allowing more of this death process to take place in our lives.
It’s been a growing passion of mine to allow the Lord to be reflected more to others through the testimony of my life. I want this because I understand how much people need the Lord and they don't just need to hear about Him. God wants to reflect His image through our lives and I want that, but it's not going to happen unless I truly embrace my cross and really learn what it means to die to self so that His life can be reflected through mine.

Mike: Yes. The world needs Christians who live out the life of Jesus more than they talk about it. I want to reiterate as well that this growth of humility in us is not something that we can produce in self effort, but God allows things in our life every day to give us the opportunity to choose to die to self. This can happen through a variety of different circumstances. It may be that someone crosses our will, or it may be a situation where we have the opportunity to try and control circumstances to work in our favor but instead we choose to deny ourselves. In any situation we must choose to walk as Jesus walked and allow God to develop His humility in us.
If someone sees that they have been lacking humility and now they want to follow the Lord to learn to develop humility in their lives, where should they start?

Jeff: Well, some of this lack of humility comes from a Christian not being in the Word of God. Scripture tells us that the Word is a lamp unto our feet. So, I would tell them to go over Scriptures that point you in the right direction. One that comes to mind is Romans 6:3 where it asks, “Have you forgotten that when we became Christians, we were baptized to become one with Jesus Christ?” It goes on to tell us that we’ve died with Him. So, we should consider ourselves dead to sin and able to live for the glory of God through Christ Jesus. We must give ourselves completely to God since we’ve been given a new life.
Now, if I am reading that, that is God telling me, or reminding me, what has happened to me when I came to Christ. And it’s good for us to remind ourselves that our lives are not our own. So I would encourage anybody that is wanting to walk in humility to get in the Word of God. Go over Scriptures like Romans 6:3 and believe God to do in your life exactly what the Word says. Agree with the Lord and say, “I want that, and I am going to do the things that you show me in your Word to produce those things in my life so that your life can be reflected through mine.”

{{blog-bwalk="/blog-ads-storage"}}

Mike: Amen. And of course, the thing that we try to communicate often is that God wants to do a work in us as believers and as His children. But just as importantly He wants to do a work through us for other people. This humility is not just something God wants to produce so that we can go around proclaiming that we are humble people. He wants to humble us so that we become vessels that He can pour His life through to reach other people.

Jeff: And that’s what it’s all about. There is a lost and dying world out there and people need to see Jesus. They will not see Him unless there are believers that are willing to truly die to self and embrace this truth so that the life of Christ can manifest itself to those dear souls.

Who was this Jesus from the Bible? What was He really like? Reverend Dave Leopold continues to help answer these questions this week. One startling revelation about Christ’s character is that He was and is a consuming fire of love. And when this love came into contact with men and women in the Bible, it demanded a response. Dave looks at two such encounters in the stories of the Rich Young Ruler and Zacchaeus the tax collector. Each encounter with Jesus’ powerful presence brought them face to face with their true character, and it was then they were forced to decide how they would respond – a decision that would determine their eternal destiny.

Resources

• Myth: You Can Have Your Own Life in This World (Blog) by Jordan Yoshimine

The faith needed to live out the Christian life is directly related to humility. But one of the things that gets in the way of humility is a performance-driven mindset. When we live this way, our need for the Lord diminishes and our pride begins to flourish.

‍

Mike: We are going to continue our discussion on humility today by focusing on humility and faith. Speaking of faith, I want to read just a couple of passages that talk about some of the great promises we have. In Philippians 4:7 it says, “You will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your heart and mind as you live in Christ Jesus.” Matthew 11:28 says, “Come to me all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest.” We could go on and on, because there are so many great promises that God has given us. But why do we have so much trouble believing these promises?

Jeff: Well, those wonderful promises you just read were conveyed in the life of Jesus when He was here on the earth. I cannot help but think about His interactions with the Pharisees and how much they needed to hear what He expressed to them. Jesus gave them the secret to what hindered them from coming to salvation. He said to them, “No wonder you cannot believe. For you gladly honor each other, but you do not care about the honor that comes from God alone.” When I think about that, what I see is that the barrier that kept them from coming to Jesus was pride. Pride will always keep us from coming to God and understanding our need for Him.

Mike: We often talk about self and the self-life. Talk a little bit about how that relates to what you just described.

Jeff: Obviously, our inner nature does not want to be lowly, unnoticed or to let go of its reputation. There is always something in us that wants the kind of honor before men that allows us to be exalted. You see it in the disciples where they argue about who would be the greatest in the Kingdom. It is in all of us to want to be something, so our inner nature is going to resist to allow God to be what He wants to be in our lives, which is everything.

Mike: Self and pride really make faith impossible, don’t they?

Jeff: What they do is blind us of our need for God. And when you think about it, the Pharisees were blind. They could not see their need, because they prided themselves on their performance, their traditions and their standing with men. They cared nothing about the honor of God.

Mike: It is easy to beat up on the Pharisees, but some of their qualities are in all of us. Let’s look at some of the examples that we see in our own lives. How do the qualities of a pharisee manifest themselves in all of us?

Jeff: When you think about faith, faith is believing God for everything. It is seeing the unseen. But we can take pride in anything and look to ourselves in a job, in our reputation, in the community, or even in ministry. I sometimes find myself looking to what I do in ministry as my source of well-being, or even honoring myself in my performance. And it really does hinder my faith in the Lord and hinders God from being able to do what He wants to do in and through my life.

{{blog-brse="/blog-ads-storage"}}

Mike: I have seen in my own life that this kind of pride and focus on self is the thing that can make my faith so superficial and short lived. It can make my faith powerless really, in many ways.

Jeff: Yeah, and it becomes an obstacle really to our faith.

Mike: I know there have been times in my life where I am reading a promise in Scripture and I am just having trouble believing it. In those moments I can see the different things in myself that I hold on to and I see how pride is working in my life. Talk to us a little bit about how we begin to deal with these obstacles to our spiritual growth and our ability to walk in faith.

Jeff: Really what we need is a total change of direction in our way of thinking. We must realize that we have these bullet patterns ingrained in our flesh nature. We need to cooperate with the Lord and let our desire and our prayer be, Lord I want to be humble and I want to be like you. But then we also need to accept the things that God allows into our lives that bring about humility and to not resist them. I have had many things in my life help bring me down. I have to realize that it’s the Lord who allowed those things in my life. I’ve had to learn that it’s good for me to accept the things that will bring about greater humility in my life.

Mike: The key thing you said that I picked up on there is that He really does want to transform us from the inside out. He wants to make us like Jesus, that’s His goal for our lives.

Jeff: Absolutely. He made a promise in 2nd Peter Chapter One that we will be created into the image of Christ. That to me is a glorious, glorious part of my salvation. That I am given a new nature and God is going to change me day by day, more and more into the glory of God. Praise the Lord.

Mike: Amen. By faith we hear that and by faith we believe it. And as we deal with the men that come into our Residential Program and the women in our OCAH program as well, one of the great things to watch is how God's faithfulness is working the flesh nature out of people because He wants us to have the faith to believe. And that’s not just the faith to believe to be saved, but the faith to believe that He is going to transform us into His image. And it is so wonderful to see Him doing that in the lives of people around us. It’s an encouragement to me and to all of us on staff here at Pure Life. You also mentioned that we need to embrace the things that God allows in our lives to begin to break down our pride and the self that is in us. What can we do in a proactive sense to begin to walk in what the Lord wants to bring us into?

Jeff: Well, I will go back to that opening Scripture where Jesus says, “No wonder you cannot believe for you gladly honor each other, but you don't care about the honor that comes from God.” I know a guy is coming into something real with the Lord when he starts doing things because he wants to honor God. When this is the case, that is all he cares about. He does not care if he is judged wrongly by his wife, his counselor or whoever. He is learning the secret of living his life before the Lord.
We must live our lives like that, because then it becomes about honoring Him, pleasing Him and doing everything for Him. There can be no self in that way of living. And it really takes faith to do that because you are believing in the unseen. You are looking to God and you are not looking to the tangible things where people can pat you on the back or say nice things about you. You are doing it for the Lord and that is where humility and faith meet, where you are honoring God. Start seeking the honor that only comes from God and let God become everything to you. That will deliver you from the slavery of living for self and wanting all the attention for yourself. There is a freedom that comes from serving God from your heart and knowing your reward comes from Him.

The Internet is a marvelous invention that has many incredible benefits...and unfortunately many pitfalls. Internet users can hide behind their computer screens and interact with the world in ways they would never think to do in real life. This feeling of invincibility has led to numerous problems online: from cyberbullying to predators, and from pornography to cybersex.

It all reminds me of the ancient myth of Gyges’ Ring.

Anonymity Brings Us More Temptation

Gyges of Lydia is a humble shepherd under the king’s service. One day an earthquake opens up the mouth of a cave, and Gyges ventures inside. There he finds a tomb, and in the tomb a golden ring. Gyges takes the ring and soon discovers that by adjusting the clasp on the ring while wearing it, he will become invisible. Using his new power, he enters the palace of the king, seduces the queen, and together they assassinate the king and take over the kingdom.

Plato recounts this same story in The Republic, putting the story in the mouth of the character Glaucon. Glaucon’s point is that even the most apparently moral person would use the cloak of invisibility to achieve selfish ends. Essentially, the idea is that deep down everyone is an egoist, motivated only by self-interest. The only reason people appear as good is because of social constraints that are upon them: the fear of being caught, the fear of appearing selfish, and the avoidance of punishment.

{{blog-brse="/blog-ads-storage"}}

The Internet is a modern day Gyges’ ring: it makes people invisible and anonymous, and thus holds out a formidable temptation for everyone to live as they please.

Glaucon’s argument is attractive because it is not much of an argument at all, but more of a thought experiment that is meant to have the reader ask, “What would I do if I had the ring?” The idea is that as long as all or most people say they would use the ring for selfish gain, Glaucon’s point is made. Taken as a statement of fact, it is easy to accept: people are selfish.

While this may be a clever story to show how people are, it is not a good argument for how people should be. This would be categorized by philosophers as an ad populum fallacy: attempting to convince people of something by arousing the feeling and enthusiasms of the multitude. While it may be true that all or most people are selfish, it does not mean that we ought to be that way.

Misplacing Our Desire for Pleasure

What’s remarkable about the Bible is that it does not tell us that self-interest is wrong, but that our natural self-interest is misinformed and blinded. Gyges problem isn’t that he is hungry for power and pleasure, but that he simply doesn’t know where real power and pleasure are found. Similarly, our problem is not that we want satisfaction, but that we believe that Internet porn is the fountain where our thirsts will be quenched.

CS Lewis said it best in his sermon, The Weight of Glory:

“The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself. We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire. . . . Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

God offers us the ultimate pleasure of Himself, and when we see Him as truly beautiful, glorious, and pleasurable, we then see the mask ripped from the false pleasures of this world.

When I discovered the world of Internet pornography, I was an easy target. I gave in and developed an addiction that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. But the addiction also showed me something . . .

The Internet became my own Gyges’ Ring: it revealed who I really was and what I really wanted. It revealed to me that what really fueled my moral engine. It showed me I was not a man after God’s heart as much as I was a man looking for cheap thrills, held back only by social norms and religious sentiments. Something in me needed to radically change.

Over the next four weeks, we’re going to play a series of messages by Reverend Dave Leopold from the Zion Faith Homes. These talks, delivered back in February to the men in our Residential Program, focused on helping us to see the character of Jesus Christ more clearly.  
This week’s message comes from John 1, where the Apostle wrote that Jesus Christ came to us, “full of grace and truth.” These words are a profound revelation about Jesus’ ministry, but they also reveal to us what we truly need from God in this life. Grace enables us to do what we could never do on our own, while truth tells us exactly what we need to hear and shows us what we need to see. Together, they work to help us to find our way towards real freedom.

Resources

• Jesus Came to Save the Addict (Blog) by Steve Gallagher

The only way for us to come into true humility is to see our own sinfulness in the light of the cross of Jesus Christ. This requires us to not only accept our sinful condition, but to accept the mercy and forgiveness offered by God.

‍

Mike: As we continue our discussions on the subject of humility, we want to focus in today on humility and sin. I want to start our discussion with the passage from 1 Timothy 1:15 where Paul says, “This is a true saying and everyone should believe it, Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners and I was the worst of them all.” Now this is one of the things that we must deal with here at Pure Life Ministries because so many of the men and women that come to us have been steeped in sin for so long. In many cases, we must help the men who come to us come to a place where they are able to see the real condition of their heart. One of the difficulties is that we can have a tendency to get stuck only looking at our sin. Can you begin by helping us understand the importance of seeing our sin, but also what that needs to lead us towards?

Jeff: The first thing we get a sight of when we encounter the cross and the reality of why Jesus had to die is our sinful condition and our need for what He did for us on the cross. I believe any true repentance must start there; it has to. But we can’t just stay looking at our sin, we also need to see Jesus there dying for our sin. As we begin to understand our own sinfulness, we come to understand the mercy He has had on us and the forgiveness that God offers us through Jesus Christ. That is what happened to Paul when the light shone on him on the road to Damascus. His eyes were opened, and we hear throughout his writings many testimonies stemming out of that encounter he had with Jesus.

What you read from 1 Timothy where Paul said he was the worst of them all shows me that Paul never forgot the reality of how great a sinner he was. Yet you can hear in the same sentence the greatness of God and His mercy that He would even consider him to be an apostle. That is the perfect balance we need. I am personally thankful that Christ’s light shone in my heart over 20 years ago, but I had to receive that light. Sad to say a lot of the men that come to our program have refused to let that light shine in their hearts and they stay stuck in their sin. They have not really faced their sinful condition. Some of these men, I fear to say, have never truly repented from their sin, because they have not allowed Christ’s light to shine in their lives. And obviously God wants them to know Him in a real way. He wants them to experience the power of the cross, but it must start there.

Mike: When God shows us the darkness of our hearts and draws us into the light, it really creates in us a tremendous gratitude. Paul was always communicating how grateful he was that the Lord allowed him to suffer for the sake of Christ. But the only reason he saw that as a privilege was because he saw what God had brought him out of.

Jeff: Absolutely. It says in 1 Corinthians 1:26, “How thankful I am to Christ Jesus our Lord for considering me trustworthy and pointing me to serve Him even though I used to scoff at the name of Christ.” Paul understood the darkness he came out of and was so grateful that Jesus chose him.

Mike: Talk a little bit about how having that sight increases or establishes a genuine humility in us.

Jeff: Well, I think about what Jesus said to Simon the pharisee when the sinful woman was at His feet. You see the contrast right there, because the Pharisee was not in sight of his sin yet, but this woman was. And Jesus said to the Pharisee, “Who do you think is going to love more, the one who is forgiven much or the one that is forgiven little?” And the Pharisee answers rightly saying, “I would think the one forgiven much.” And Jesus said, “You have answered correctly. He who is forgiven little loves little, but he who is forgiven much, loves much.” Paul, I believe, understood that and you read about him being compelled by Christ’s love. His whole ministry was really motivated by love. But really that came out of how he viewed himself before the Lord. Not just as a sinner, but as a product of God's mercy. That really is where the sweetness of our salvation comes from.

{{blog-si="/blog-ads-storage"}}

Mike: How important is it that we have a sight of how sinful we are and how much we have been forgiven if we want to live a life walking in the Spirit and overcome our flesh, the world, and the Devil.

Jeff: Well, I do not believe you can do it if you have not had a sight of your own sinfulness and how much you have been forgiven. You cannot love much without seeing how much you have been forgiven. You will not want to lay your life down. If anything, you might serve out of obligation. But outward obedience will only take you so far. When you understand the reality of the mercy God has given you, then like Paul said, it will be your reasonable service to offer your life up as a living sacrifice. That is a picture of yielding oneself to the Lord and can only occur after you have been broken and have repented. That is where meekness enters in and where you surrender your will to God. The only way we can walk in the Spirit is when our will is surrendered to God. Unless that breaking happens, unless that realization of sin and true repentance comes about, there will be no breaking of self-will in that person's life, and they will not be able to walk in the Spirit.

Mike: One of the things that we sometimes see in people who have received a sight of their sin is that they only become aware of where they fail. Where they come short of the glory of God, where they come short of who Jesus is and yet we see a lack of humility reflected, because all they are focused on is their inability to perform.

Jeff: Yeah. And you can equate that with pride. They cannot humble themselves and receive freely what God has done for them. They feel like they must work for it or earn it and you really do have to humble yourself to receive the grace of God, because there is nothing you can do to merit that. The only way to receive the grace of God is to acknowledge that you are a sinner before the Lord and earnestly plead for mercy. Then you must gratefully believe it when the Word says, “if you confess your sin, He is faithful to cleanse you and forgive you.” When you realize that, you receive forgiveness freely. That itself is humbling.
Mike: I keep hearing the word self. Of course, when you get to the root of it, what we are really talking about here is regarding a lack of being able to humble ourselves. One of the great dangers of just focusing on the darkness and not allowing God to move us into the light is that even though we may have a hatred for our sin, we are still focused on self.

Jeff: That is so true. We are helpless to fix ourselves, and if all we do is look at ourselves and our inabilities – it’s a hopeless situation. Yes, we need a reality of our sinful condition, but faith looks to Jesus. True faith gets our eyes on Jesus and on the work of the cross. That is where my hope comes from and that is where we need to come to God: in faith, trusting that He will be able to deliver us from self.  He is able to help us live this life as the new creation that we have become through what He did for us in His death and resurrection.

Mike: Amen. If many in the church world were to look at the men that come into our Residential Program, they would see a bunch of hopeless cases. The reality is that many of them come here feeling hopeless, because they had been living in tremendous darkness. But it is very wonderful to see when they begin to really see the darkness that they are in, because that opens the door for the Lord to do His work.

Jeff: Really what happens is that they get exposed to light while they are here. When they embrace that light, they begin to understand just how dark their hearts have been and they experience true brokenness and repentance in their lives. When they come to the place where they finally understand that they in of themselves are nothing, they become a prime candidate to become a new creation. God can do a lot with a person who understands that they are nothing but understands that God is everything.

What confuses you most about your husband’s sin? This is one of the questions we ask women to answer on the Wives at Home Program application. The following are the kinds of questions we see in this ministry along with some thoughts for the wife.

1. “How did he get so deeply involved in this?”

No doubt your husband had a propensity for this particular kind of sin (every human has some form of sin they are drawn to), but he didn’t get addicted to it instantaneously. No doubt a demon set him up with pornography as a youngster. At first he dabbled in it. He tasted the fruit and liked what he tasted. So he kept going back. Little did he know that some devil was luring him down this path until he was completely consumed with sexual fantasy.

After a while, the pornography alone wasn’t enough: he needed to experience what he was seeing. At first this was “normal” sex, but this didn’t hold him either. It’s the law of diminishing returns my husband talks about in At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry. Sin doesn’t satisfy so it always lures the person to go to deeper levels of sin and baser kinds of behavior in search of fulfillment.

By the time you came along, he was utterly addicted. Sexual experience had become the god he worshipped.

2. “Why didn’t he tell me about this before I married him?”

Of course, it would have been right for your husband to confess his secret life to you. I can think of at least a couple reasons why he didn’t tell you about it, though. First, sexual sin is very shameful. The last thing he would want to do is to scare off the girl he wants to marry by presenting himself as a seedy pervert.

The other thing that probably kept him from confessing is that he honestly believed that once the two of you got married that his need for illicit sexual experiences would magically vanish. This is a very common belief. He believed this because—at that point—he was sexually attracted to you. He didn’t understand that, because he had already corrupted himself through pornography, that his sexual attraction to you would wane after the initial excitement.

You see, a man who has not polluted himself with pornography would continue to be attracted to his wife. God created him that way. But once pornography sets the tone for his sex life, he constantly needs something new to keep him interested. He has been living in the sexual fast lane for a long time and normal sex just won’t hold his interest. Even secular researchers are now talking about how, over time, pornography destroys a person’s ability to get sexually aroused.

3. “Why doesn’t he just quit?”

Every time I read an application I grieve because I know so well the fears and the conflicting feelings that wife is experiencing. As long as I am “in this business” I will never fully understand why these men risk so much, go to so much trouble to create a secret life, and hollow out their souls for the sake of some temporary sexual thrill. What’s the point of all of this? Why do they do this to themselves? Is the pay-off worth all that they are forfeiting? Is this really what they want in life?

Part of the confusion wives deal with is attempting to apply logic to irrational behavior. In their minds, their husbands should “just quit doing it!” That is the way reasonable people look at destructive behavior. “Look at all the people you are hurting, look at where this is taking you.” It seems so simple, but there is a ton of evidence to prove that logic, common sense, and even love have all taken a back seat to a very powerful drive that is in men. I know a lot of men who would love to “flip a switch” and be done with their sin. If it were that easy there would be no need for Pure Life Ministries. The “switch flipping” mentality in women is why there is a lot of confusion about this issue. A lot of wives do not understand the power of pornography or sexual addiction.

As terrible as all of this sounds I do want to say that many “Christian” men agonize inside over what they are doing. They want help, but they are overcome by the power and pull of sin. They are weak spiritually because they have become so accustomed to obeying lust. Their motivation to quit cannot stand up to the power of the temptation when it shows up. They will never have the strength in themselves to overcome. Only the Lord can do it, but He does set men free!

{{blog-bsecret="/blog-ads-storage"}}

I could explain these things all day long, but it will never make sense for most women. My best advice to you as a wife is to move past confusion and move into faith. If your husband wants to get free of sexual addiction, he is going to have to make a full-on surrender to Jesus Christ. But, do you know what? If you are ever going to experience true peace and joy, you are going to need to do the same thing. You can have the perfect husband and the perfect marriage and still be unhappy and unfulfilled in life. Only the Lord can satisfy the human heart.