In this week’s sermon, we will be unveiling the wisdom of the Cross.
This episode: We look at fasting—why it will help you battle porn, doing it with a right heart, and how to incorporate it into your life.
In the latest sermon, our speakers unpack several biblical texts to unveil Yahweh as Redeemer.
This episode: In this podcast we'll give a biblical answer to the question: "What role does accountability play in overcoming sexual sin?"
We want real victory in our lives, not just an artificial state of purity that’s based on our circumstances.
Can the seed of wickedness, rebellion and perversion truly reside in the heart of someone nurtured in a good environment and surrounded by godly examples? Scripture warns us that it can.
We see this clearly in Noah’s son, Ham. He grew up surrounded by the godly influence of his father, and even witnessed sin’s terrifying consequences firsthand in the destruction of mankind in the flood. But despite this, his heart was not set on the Lord like Noah. Ham’s moral character was not something internal, but something based upon his circumstances.
This is a story we’ve seen played out countless times in the men who come to us for counseling. A young man is raised in a godly home. He grows up attending a good church, hearing truth. But eventually he grows up and leaves his family’s protection. Soon, he finds himself allured by worldliness and entangled in sin. This is a tragic reality, but one which can be rectified.
In this interview, we sit down with Vice President of Discipleship Programs, Ed Buch, and look into different scenarios that can lead someone to believe they are walking in freedom, when in reality are allowing sin to remain untouched and flourishing in their heart. For anyone ensnared by sexual addiction, this video will help you see how you ended up in such a bad place, and how to find your way back out.
This series is based on the book Intoxicated with Babylon: The Seduction of God’s People in the Last Days by Steve Gallagher. You can find out more about that book by visiting our bookstore.
Christians have to be very careful to limit how much they subject themselves to the ungodly influences of television and movies.
What is your opinion about homosexuality, sex, and nudity in movies?
There is no question that we as a people have fallen from the decency that once prevailed in our nation. That is the point of my book: How America Lost Her Innocence. Today, it is no longer decency that is the norm but indecency.
Having said that, I would like to address a larger, and what I consider to be a much more important, issue: the need for Christians to be very careful to limit how much they subject themselves to the ungodly influences of television and movies. Nearly everything on television and in movies caters to the flesh. How does it affect a believer to subject himself to hours of carnal programming? Watching a limited amount of cartoon movies, documentaries and sports will not adversely affect a believer too much. But in my opinion, believers should not be subjecting themselves to carnal sitcoms, dramas and movies.
Solomon rightly said, “Watch over your heart with all diligence because from it flow the issues of life.” The heart is the core of the human being and is affected by outside influences. Like a computer hard drive, what is programmed into it determines what kind of data comes out of it. Think of your heart as a seedbed, out of which our thoughts spring. Jesus said, “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts…” (Mark 7:21 NASB)
The heart is affected through the senses, and, in turn, generates thoughts. A person’s thinking establishes the basis for his actions. His actions become a lifestyle. A lifestyle determines a person’s destiny. As you can see, it is very important to guard one’s heart.
Sin is not easily eradicated from our hearts and is always waiting for its chance to reveal itself.
After the flood Noah and his family exited the ark with a clear vision of God’s judgment upon evil. And as they began the toilsome work of rebuilding humanity, they would undoubtedly tell their story to succeeding generations in hopes that another worldwide devastation would be avoided.
But sin will not easily be eradicated from our hearts. Even the terror of divine retribution can be quickly forgotten by the enticement of sin’s promises. Scripture tells us that evil is always lurking, waiting for its chance to be revealed.
One day the ultimate human expression of evil will reveal itself in The Antichrist. Throughout history, many precursors to this man – many “antichrists” – have risen and fallen. What connects them all is a spiritual lineage that can be traced back to that little band of survivors who exited the ark at the dawn of man’s second genesis.
This series is based on the book Intoxicated with Babylon: The Seduction of God’s People in the Last Days by Steve Gallagher. You can find out more about that book by visiting our bookstore.
As Christians, we are growing up into Christ, into the full measure and full stature of who He is. He is the model.
Every day, as we trust and obey our Heavenly Father, we are being transformed into the image of Jesus. God can use many things to do this, but often those things can be painful circumstances and trials in our lives. This is the message Kathy Gallagher has shared with many wives who have come to us devastated and broken by their husband’s betrayal. In part two of an interview with her, she shares more about this, from her experience and knowledge of the Word of God.
Nate: Today, I’d like to circle back to something that we touched on before. And that is that even though the Bible doesn’t have tons of specific instruction for wives, it does have a lot to say about being godly. Could you give some examples of that?
Kathy: It is very difficult to be a biblical wife. And I don't mean just a wife that professes to be a Christian, but a biblical wife. I'm still learning how to do that. My personality and the character traits that define me overall as a person fall so short of the ideal of what’s laid out in Scripture. The constant challenge for me is seeing my failure. I see my weakness as a wife, as a Christian and as a leader in this ministry. I see it all the time, but it also challenges me and ignites my desire to grow. Getting saved is just the beginning of this process. We are in the process of being saved. We get saved and we come into the Kingdom, but we are being saved, and we are coming out of the world's mindset. We've entered into a different Kingdom, and its principles and values are so vastly different than what we are used to. It's a painful process going from the Kingdom of Darkness into the Kingdom of Light. It's glorious in the beginning, but that journey is a painful, painful journey.
You can easily separate yourself from the outward things of this world, but I find that the mindset of the spirit of this age is the hardest thing to overcome. For us women who have been so hurt by our husband’s sexual sin, our reaction to pain, suffering and injustice in our natural self is to retaliate, get mad, demand our rights and fight for our cause. But that’s exactly what the world does. When we act like that, we don't look much different than an unsaved woman who finds out her husband is in sexual sin. I don't mean to be pointing my finger condemning anybody for that reaction. That is totally a natural response. But if you look at Jesus’ life, it helps you come out of the world’s mindset, or at least see more clearly how the spirit of the world is trying to shape your thinking.
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Jesus is our example and look at the attitudes He had to deal with in the disciples. In the Gospels you get a very clear picture of the worldly mindset that the disciples were in. But Jesus was showing them very patiently His interior world and what being His follower should look like. The humility and lowliness of His heart is the antithesis of the spirit of this world. That's where we get off track as women. One of the main characteristics of a godly Christian, whether you are a woman or man, is humility. If we're not humble, it's hard to be broken, it's hard to repent and it's hard to forgive.
You've got to start with humility. I think that's why Jesus made such a big deal about it. And He was Himself lowliness personified. Another essential trait found in a godly wife is gratitude, but the question can easily arise, how am I supposed to be grateful? Women may ask themselves how they can be grateful when their husband has just created such a big mess in the marriage. But we are told to be grateful in every circumstance in the New Testament, and that was written by someone who was under tremendous persecution and suffering.
Nate: Can we talk about some of the character traits that you mentioned related to godliness? Why is it that a woman has to learn to live in the spirit of forgiveness if she wants to be godly?
Kathy: Being godly means that we want to be like Jesus, correct? Well, that’s the spirit that He is always in. He doesn't stop forgiving. It's an atmosphere and it is a spirit. Let’s compare it to the spirit of gratitude for instance. You don't just have gratitude on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If you truly have gratitude, then you are just a grateful person. You develop and cultivate the fruits of the Spirit. You cultivate thankfulness, generosity or even selflessness. It's not something that you just automatically are full of when you get saved. In fact, initially, you don't get any of that. You get the Holy Spirit, but you even have to cultivate Him in your life. You don’t get everything you need to be godly immediately and then just live life on autopilot.
Whoever said that being a Christian is for weaklings and that Christianity is a crutch is crazy. I don't know who came up with that idea, but that is the furthest thing from the truth. It takes a very noble character to learn to walk with God the right way. I am not inferring that I’m perfect either, because I fail constantly. But you have to cultivate the spirit of forgiveness, a humble heart, a thankful heart, a heart of gratitude and a prayerful spirit. As Christians, we are growing up into Christ, into the full measure and full stature of who He is. He is the model.
Nate: Yeah, I was actually talking to a guy the other day because he had a pretty rough night. He was in a lot of lust and he was confessing that to me. And he had actually completely resisted, but he just felt so wrong to even have those desires. I just asked him, “What do you think God is like towards you this morning,” because he felt so beaten down. Then I looked at him and I said, “I know He's proud because a year ago you were just giving into this kind of thing and now you're suffering through this struggle and fighting against your flesh and I know God is proud of you.”
Kathy: It's precious to God. That's why I love to hear that stuff. I mean I don't love to hear that he feels discouraged at the end of that battle, but it is through those struggles that Jesus is being formed in us. I really believe that about all the hardship, all the battles and all the struggles these women go through. My natural gifting is mercy. What I want to do is rescue. I want to get in there and I want to yank them out of this mess. I want to beat that sucker over the head for being so ugly to his wife. That's what I'm like. But what God is like and what He's looking for is the willingness to battle through the trials and not give over to how the flesh wants to respond.
When I got saved, this is what was told to me. “Jesus is going to make all of your problems go away and your life is going to be awesome.” Not true! As soon as I came into the Kingdom, I got thrust into battle. I gave a message years ago on tested faith, because it is so precious to God that we are going through that process. The struggle is so valuable to Him. He sees it rightly, we don't. That's why He can say that it’s precious to Him.
Nate: Yeah. So, I guess with all of the things that you talked about such as gratitude, submission, forgiveness and respect. I guess the big takeaway for these women is that this isn't just going to be magically imparted to them. There has to be a pushing back against our fleshly tendencies. We must fight to have Jesus formed in us.
Kathy: Yes, and it's very discouraging. I know that a lot of young women will hear this that are raising children and are exhausted. The thought of having to fight for a life in God in the midst of what they’re going through can be very discouraging. But I just want to leave this thought with whoever's listening that needs to hear this. If you're weak, struggling and not doing well spiritually, it's probably because you're not praying. I wish there was a different word. I wish I could use a different word than prayer, because that's become almost a dirty word in the church. I hate to say that, but that is how it is viewed. Women dismiss it and want something else to help them get through their trial. But I'm telling you, girls, it is the thing that will change the course of your life, your children's lives and probably your husband's life.
You have to go into it believing, with a desire to understand what the Bible is saying. You know, we are so shallow with the Bible. But we need to read, study and pray about what God has said about prayer and about what He has given us through it. We have the Word of the living God, but it's become so common to us that it's cheap. Everyone is so quick to say, “Give me something else, something I can get ahold of.” Well, prayer IS the thing and that's all I have to give you. But it is the thing that you need. It is the very thing you need.
If you are weak spiritually, or if you're falling down spiritually, it's due to the fact that you’re not praying. Prayer is where the Lord meets us. He comes to us in our times of prayer. It's not instant gratification necessarily. It builds you up over time. A reservoir is being built inside and you will see it if you give time and energy to it. But that's not even the goal. The goal is for God to transform you into the image of Christ. And he does do that. He absolutely does that.
Nate: Yea. You basically have just said throughout this entire interview that Christlikeness is the secret to a good marriage. But that is not all you are saying, because I think sometimes we can be really shallow. For example, we can think, “If I'm like Jesus, then I'll get everything that I want.” And I know that's not what you're saying because when you look at the life of Jesus, you realize that this man had such a perspective about what this life was for and where things were going. But His life, when you consider it in terms of results, was unfruitful from many people’s perspectives. He did all these amazing things for people and most of them just wrote him off. Once He didn't give them what they wanted, they turned against Him. Even His disciples were mostly clueless as to what He was really aiming at. When He rose from the dead, they weren’t even expecting it.
Kathy: Yeah, they were surprised.
Nate: Yeah, they were surprised because they didn't really believe. So in terms of results, His life was kind of a disappointment. But when you see it through the eyes of faith, you realize that something more eternal took place.
Kathy: Look at it over the last 2000 years. Look at all the fruit that has come out of His 33 years on Earth. Look at the fruit. But it has transpired over a very long period of time. God is not in a big old hurry. He is very loving. He's so patient. He's so humble, and He is looking at things from an eternal perspective.
Satan has constructed a world-system that feeds a lifestyle of pride and self-centeredness, that mocks at God’s rule and authority.
Last week, we began looking at some of the main tactics Satan uses to lead mankind into rebellion against God. In this episode, we’ll look at another example of how Satan does that. Join us, as we examine how our enemy works tirelessly to promote a lifestyle of selfishness and pride in us and how that leads us into rebellion against the Lord. We’ll also discuss how God earnestly and tirelessly works to tear those things down in every believer’s life.
When we learn to consistently treasure the Lord instead of our sinful desires, we begin to look more like Him and less like the world.
When we sin, we naturally don’t want to take responsibility for our actions. We want to blame others or even blame God. But Scripture clearly says that it’s our own desires which lead into sin. In this discussion, Brooks, Josh and Chris unpack how they went from a place of making excuses when they sinned, to a place of brokenness and contrition over their spiritual condition. They also discuss how the Lord brought them to a place where they were no longer controlled by their desires.
While it’s true that our desires can influence us, only our will can make the decision to act upon those desires.
Up to this point in our series, we've been taking a bird’s eye view of the spiritual realm to expose how the world is being controlled by an ancient spirit bent on rebellion against God. Now it’s time to zoom in and start looking at some of the practical, every-day things that the spirit of Babylon uses to draw mankind into that rebellion. We'll expose some of our personal vulnerabilities, and some of the weaknesses in our religious system, which leave us exposed to this very powerful, very seductive and very evil spirit. Journey with us as we look at the massively important realm of desire.
Morality is not a line. It's a direction.
Before the flood, humanity had become intoxicated with evil. The sin and wickedness introduced at the fall had grown exponentially with each successive generation. By the time of Noah, humanity had spiraled so far out of control that all their thoughts and all their feelings were unredeemable.
We are not immune to this same spiritual process. Though God has promised all of us salvation through Jesus Christ, this same soul-sickness can easily consume any one of us who would refuse that offer. When we turn from the Lord, we will inevitably begin to plunge into the same darkness which overtook the pre-flood world.
In this interview with one of our Residential Program counselors, we discuss the Spiral of Degradation found in Romans 1. We’ll take an in-depth look at each step down that spiral. We’ll also talk about the hope available for anyone who finds themselves on that destructive path. If you desire freedom today, it is still available for you!
This series is based on the book Intoxicated with Babylon: The Seduction of God’s People in the Last Days by Steve Gallagher. You can find out more about that book by visiting our bookstore.
Satan uses man’s natural propensity toward sin to lead him down a path of destruction.
It was the late 1960’s. The skirmish in Vietnam was escalating into all-out war. The Beatles were being displaced by hard rockers like the Rolling Stones and the Doors. Flower children were advocating “free love” in San Francisco. And a young man walked to the balcony of his hotel room and, convinced that he could fly, plunged ten floors to his death on the sidewalk below. He had come under the deadly spell of L.S.D.
L.S.D. lied to this young man. L.S.D. stole years of life from him. And finally, L.S.D. murdered him. Several months before, he had been seduced by the euphoria it offered him, not realizing that once he partook of this deadly potion, his days were numbered.
L.S.D. is an apt representative of sin. Like the devil who employs it, it deceives, steals and destroys. Satan uses man’s natural propensity toward sin to lead him down a path of destruction. The victim is enticed down this trail by promised fulfillment. But even while the seducer dangles the intoxicating carrot in front of the person’s lust-filled eyes, it is picking the person’s pocket and leading him right to a cliff.
Well did the writer of Hebrews speak of “the deceitfulness of sin.” (Hebrews 3:13 NASB) Sin promises much and delivers just enough to keep its victim returning for more. It employs the same successful strategy time and again. It presents the act of sin in such a way as to infer that it will bring about tremendous satisfaction. As a master deceiver, sin suppresses thoughts of possible consequences while glamorizing the pleasure it offers. Memories of past consequences fade in the glitter of the proposed act. Typically, a lying devil is moving the process along, keeping the person’s focus fixed upon the object of desire. J.C. Ryle captures its utterly deceptive nature:
“You may see this deceitfulness in the wonderful proneness of men to regard sin as less sinful and dangerous than it is in the sight of God and in their readiness to extenuate it, make excuses for it and minimize its guilt. ‘It is but a little one! God is merciful!’
Men try to cheat themselves into the belief that sin is not quite so sinful as God says it is, and that they are not so bad as they really are… We are too apt to forget that temptation to sin will rarely present itself to us in its true colors, saying, ‘I am your deadly enemy and I want to ruin you forever in hell.’ Oh, no! Sin comes to us, like Judas, with a kiss, and like Joab, with an outstretched hand and flattering words.” (1)
Consider some of life’s most valuable elements that the sinner must forfeit. Sin cheats a man of his honor. Every time he gives in to some temptation, he is depleting his character. He lacks the conviction and strength of character to resist his passions. Little by little his honor ebbs away until, in the end, he is a shifty, weak-willed jellyfish who nobody respects.
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Sin also destroys relationships. A person given over to a sinful idol usually loses interest in loved ones. Spouses are often confused about why their mates seem so aloof, not realizing they are addicted to some secret sin. Sin has a way of making a person’s life extremely tiny. The greater the addiction, the less room there is in the person’s heart for anything or anyone else. The beloved sin demands and receives his complete devotion.
Sometimes sin will even rob a man of his freedom. How many times have I heard a sad story about a guy caught looking at child pornography and sent to prison? After doing his time, the unfortunate soul is eventually paroled back into the community where he is branded as a sex offender. He often must wear this label for the rest of his life.
Worst of all, sin strips a man of his relationship with God. Every time he indulges some temptation, he sets himself up as a defiant rebel to the King of Heaven. With every transgression he aligns himself with the evil one. Before long, he has completely set up house in the enemy’s camp. All the while he convinces himself that he is a Christian when actually he is as just as deceived as the man who jumped off the balcony. Rightly did Jesus exclaim that, “The thief comes only to steal…” (John 10:10 NASB)
Most people who indulge sin do not receive such swift retribution as the young man who leapt to his death. For most, the death process is long and painful. Nevertheless, one thing is certain: “…when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.” (James 1:15 NASB)
The Apostle Paul said it this way: “the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption…” (Galatians 6:8 NASB) The NIV says the person “…will reap destruction…” while the Amplified Bible says he will “…reap decay and ruin and destruction…” (AMPC) All three translations are correct in their interpretation. The Greek term (phthora) employed by the venerable apostle is sometimes used to describe the corrupting influence of sin, while at other times it describes the process of death.
The truth is that the same sin that defiles the human soul with its vileness also breaks down the life within that person. It is typically a long term process. Little by little everything good and decent is eaten away. The horrible moral decay that the hobbit Smeagol experienced after finding the dark lord’s ring in The Fellowship of the Ring is an apt picture of what occurs within a sinner.
Physical life may remain, but spiritual life ebbs away. In the end, it has given way to spiritual death. The hounds of hell drag the person away into everlasting torment. Those who think they can continue in sin and enjoy some imaginary divine protection are only deluding themselves. “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.” (Galatians 6:7 NASB)
Yes, in the dark corridors and caverns of hell, Sin is heralded as the Great One. It does a tremendous job for its dark master of deceiving, robbing and destroying people.
(1) J.C. Ryle, Holiness, Evangelical Press, England, 1879, p. 7.
If we do not learn to submit to what the Lord has placed before us, we are hardening our hearts.
When we set out to interview Kathy Gallagher about how to be a godly wife, we never intended to touch on topics such as suffering, Bible study, and prayer. But as it turns out, those three topics have become very important to her as she has learned to be a godly wife through the seasons of suffering in her life. Listen as she and Nate sit down and discuss these topics, and more.
Nate: Kathy, thanks for coming in today. I want to start off by trying to give wives a sense of what it means to be a godly wife in general. When you look at what the Word of God says about the role of a wife, what do you see?
Kathy: Well, to be honest with you, not very much. There is not a lot in the Bible that is specific to wives. I did a search and there are 11 mentions in the New Testament about wives. Those verses are mostly all about respect and submission and so, a lot of problems have come out of those two topics. People just narrow in on those two things, but I don't think that's exactly the way it should be taken. You could also add in Proverbs 31 as a model for a godly wife, which is a wonderful model. I think all of us sincere-hearted women see that as a template that is very hard to attain to.
So those verses are very important, and the whole theme of submission and obedience is very important, but you can't just limit the model of being a godly wife to a few Scriptures. If you really pay attention, there is so much in the New Testament about suffering. There is so much in the New Testament about how to live your life in a persecuted culture. Those things really stand out to me. Even though being a godly wife is not a main topic in the New Testament, it is a big deal, but I think that we as women need to look at the whole of the teachings of the New Testament to see what God expects of us. What is He looking for in us as we face crisis in our marriage, or anywhere else?
Nate: So you're saying that if a wife just goes to the Bible to find out what God says about being a good wife, then she is going to miss a ton that the Bible simply says about becoming conformed to the image of Jesus.
Kathy: Yes. And He's working His image into us through every circumstance. But sexual sin is a game changer and there's no easy way to work your way through that. And again, you won't find a real specific pathway in the Bible of how to overcome other than through repentance and forgiveness. The whole New Testament is written to believers to show them how to live a life that is pleasing to God.
Nate: That's good. It's not just a list of helpful tips for us to go looking for an answer for every problem we have.
Kathy: That's a good way to put it. I think a lot of us women go hunting and pecking. So, when trying to teach the Bible to young women, they have to basically be deprogrammed. I think that needs to happen for a lot of people. We have to be deprogrammed because we have been taught to hunt and peck for verses and encouraging statements. That is not the way the Bible was written and that is not what its intended purpose is. I don't mean to turn this into a podcast on the Bible, but to me this is like the crux of why so many women have more struggles going through the process of becoming a godly wife than they need to. They don’t understand the Word of God properly.
Nate: Yeah. In the Instagram age, you can only fit so much on one little picture, so we feel the need to find, like, nuggets – little bite sized pieces of Scripture. But that really tears apart the preciousness of the Word of God just to provide some sort of immediate emotional response.
Kathy: Definitely. We really want that emotional response and something to pull ourselves up by the boot strings with one verse. But I just so strongly disagree with that. I've never gone to the Bible looking for one specific verse, but I think that's what a lot of women do. They aren’t understanding the whole counsel of the Word of God, that the preciousness of His Word is revealing who God is. You just don't get that in one sitting. It takes a lifetime. I've been walking with the Lord 42 years, and I feel like I'm not even barely scratching the surface. The longer and deeper I go, the more I look at the Word of God through the lens of just wanting to know Him.
That’s what's becoming more real to me is that He wants to reveal Himself to me through His Word. That is where my hope is going to come from. It won’t come from a put-together marriage. That would be awesome; that’s what we hope for. The whole point of Pure Life Ministries in a certain way is to see people's lives rescued and redeemed and brought back to the Lord. But the bigger issue to me always has been that Jesus is your answer. He doesn’t just have some answers, He is the answer! It’s Him. Himself. Here's an example of that. We ask the Lord, “Please give us strength.” Well, what we're looking for is to have a little bit of strength, but Jesus wants to BE your strength. He wants to BE your hope. He wants to BE your redemption and all of that.
Nate: Well, this is really good. I actually didn’t foresee you talking about Bible study. But since we’re taking a little bit of a rabbit trail, why don’t you talk about prayer as well.
Kathy: Prayer is so important. I can't say it long enough or loud enough how important it is to pray. And I don't mean throwing up ten second prayers of “Jesus, please help me Lord, I need help today.” I'm talking about getting in your prayer closet and pulling Heaven down to Earth. You just have to do that out of desperation. One thing you can do is to go through Psalm 119 and pray with your heart, not just your mouth, and learn how to touch Heaven. A godly woman is someone who will just, by faith, get into her prayer closet and intercede, not just for herself and her children, but for her husband. A husband in sexual sin is in the battle of his life and he needs that support.
We miss this stuff because we get so mad at our husbands for wrecking everything. But that’s selflessness when you put your own needs aside. Through prayer, you gain a spirit of understanding and wisdom. That comes from spending time in the presence of the Lord. For me, I took the Scriptures and I started praying against the enemy. That’s when things opened up to me, because I knew that the Spirit of God was with me helping me to pray that way. I can't do that on my own. It's not natural to pray against the enemy in the Spirit of God, but when I did so much opened up to me about what's really going on and what we're really up against.
And again, I feel like an infant in it, but I want to grow in it more. I think that a godly wife that is helpful to her husband is a praying wife. And I don't mean prayers like, “Jesus save me from this mess.” Pray for the Lord to save your husband, rescue him, bring him out of the darkness and bring him into the light. Pray for the Lord to break the power of darkness over his mind and over his heart. Just push back against the enemy on his behalf.
Nate: There's a picture emerging as you're talking, because I think you've got two perspectives from the world on what it means to be a good woman. You have the feminist ideal: self-sufficient, strong and able. Then you've got your ultra conservative picture of what it means to be a wife. But that tends to be all outward. You stay at home, you raise the kids, you keep a good home. Not that those things aren't in the Word of God, but they still are all outward. What you're talking about is growing in godliness, which is all interior.
Kathy: It's very interior and it's very selfless. You lose your life. If you're on the outside looking in, that sounds dreadful, but there is a place of quiet rest near to the heart of God. That is a very true line from a hymn. And I don't disparage a woman who stays at home to raise the children and keep a godly home. That is a very noble thing. I love those women who love their children enough to keep them separated and to model to their family what being a godly woman looks like. But the best model I have ever seen are those mothers who are in their prayer closet interceding. That is how you model Christianity.
Nate: This is definitely touching on something that I wanted to bring out with you in this interview, the idea of what it means to be a godly wife. I guess we could also think in terms of being a godly mother. What should a woman be aiming for in that?
Kathy: What I talked a lot about in my book and in messages I've given touches on what the Lord is doing in the midst of the sexual sin. I realize that that's not the point of this particular segment that we're doing, but it's a big deal and I think that's why most women are listening. And what He is doing is He's exposing in us what's in us. And hopefully we're finding out more of who He is and what He is like. I have always believed from a very early age that although sexual sin is not the will of God, He uses the affects of it in a very big way in our lives, but women can have sinful attitudes that will really mess things up.
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Proverbs 14 says that a wise woman will build her house, but a foolish one will tear it down with her own hands. I have had my fill of women who are rebellious, demanding, and selfish, who love themselves more than they love anybody else. They feel they have the right to certain attitudes and to protect themselves and to defend themselves. Just this whole “me-first” mentality. I've said to women before, if your husband would be happier in any other home than his own, not because of sexual sin, but because of the constant needling, nagging, demanding, discontentedness that he is experienced in his own home, then you are tearing your house down.
I know that a lot of the people that will listen to this don't fit into that category, but through years of counseling women I’ve seen that that type of foolishness has always been a big issue. But we don't see our actions that way. We women feel very justified in our expectations. And, up to a point, a wife should have expectations. But we have to be so careful. As women, we have to be very careful about what is in us. I know a lot of the women that I have dealt with want the Lord and see His hand in this. They also see what's in themselves. It's a joy to work with them even though their hearts are broken. It's a joy to work with them because you know that there's hope for them. Maybe not always for their marriage, but they have a sure hope in their walk with Jesus.
So, I really do appreciate a woman who's willing to box her way out of this ring in the right way. There are no disclaimers in the Bible for ungodly behavior when we're suffering. The only thing I can find about our attitude is that we are to endure patiently and wait – something we do not want to do. We don't want to wait, and we certainly don't want to be patient. We want answers now.
I know all this can feel hollow, empty and discouraging to hear in the midst of trial When your heart is broken, you want something right now. But I feel like what is important for us as godly woman is to learn how to submit to the suffering. I get so tired of saying this stuff, but I feel like some people just don't understand this concept. I’m not saying submit to abuse. I'm not saying submit to violence or anything like that. But the struggle and the suffering, submit to that. If we don't learn how to come down under it, we’re hardening our hearts. Again, like I said earlier in this interview, if you look at the Word of God, suffering is woven throughout the Old and New Testaments. It describes to us how to deal with it. It’s in the Scripture because this life is full of suffering.
When we taste and see that the Lord is good, He begins to be the one we are fighting for.
If we are going to resist the enemy, we must learn to be fighters. That's what Josh, Kyle, and Trey found out early on in their walk with the Lord. The battle was hard, and they weren’t expecting it. In this discussion, they reflect on how worldliness will kill a fighting spirit, and how God has helped them to become willing to enter the battle. We hope you’ll be encouraged by their stories and by their growing passion to know Jesus!
Most people live their lives pursuing pleasure, little realizing that the spirit of Babylon is leading them to their destruction.
There is a dark spirit at work in this world, seeking to destroy mankind by convincing them to unite in rebellion against God. That spirit is of course, Satan. But he isn't alone. All around us, there are demonic beings trying to exert their very powerful influence upon us. This week, we’re going to take a brief look at the demonic realm and how these dark spirits work to gain dominion over a person's heart. And we’ll follow that up with a conversation about a powerful strategy to effectively fight against their evil influence.
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