In the 9th message of our “Unveiling Yahweh” series, Ed Buch breaks down the amazingly good gifts of God.
Timeless Truths: God knows every person by name and wants to draw them to Himself and conform them into the image of His Son.
This episode: Deliverance from sexual sin often comes only after truly waiting on God. Learn some of these principles in today's episode!
We're so excited about all the Lord is doing through our ministry! Check out our latest video to find out what we've been up to in 2024.
Scott and Erin tried really hard to fix their marriage on their own. But when they started obeying God, their marriage was transformed.
In the fourth episode of Ashes to Beauty: Scott and Erin Wilson’s world blew apart in one day when Erin found texts from another woman on Scott's phone. For the next couple of years, they tried to fix their marriage--in their own way and their own strength. Eventually, they both came to the place where they were willing to do the will of God. That’s when their marriage began to be restored.
When Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn," He meant that our pain is actually opening the door for tremendous spiritual blessing.
In the newest episode of Ashes to Beauty: When our hearts are torn open, we frantically reach for anything that will take away the pain. But what if God showed up in our suffering and told us that our pain was actually opening the door to tremendous blessing? Even though that makes no sense to our natural minds, that's exactly what He means when He says, "Blessed are those who mourn."
The Lord isn't just concerned with what we do or don't do, but at the motivations in our heart.
This week's blog post features part of a discussion between Nate and biblical counselor Ken Larkin on 1 John 2:15-17. We would encourage you to take a moment if you can to read and meditate on this passage before reading this interview. (from Purity for Life Episode #497 - Babylon: The Global Mindset of Kosmos)
Nate: OK so for anyone who's listening, basically, what I asked my guest, Ken, to do was to spend some time studying 1 John 2:15-17 and I would do the same. Then we would just come in and talk about it. So, I'm not sure how this is going to go. You have notes and I have notes, and this will be completely free flowing. So, let me just read the passage and then I'll open it up to you and you can just give some initial thoughts. This is from the ESV.
“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”
So, I'll just open it up to you for something that jumped out to you that you want to share.
Ken: Yeah. One of the first things that really jumped out to me is the fact that a lot of times when I'm thinking of worldliness in general, I'm thinking of outward things and what I'm doing outwardly. But one’s behavior is just fruit of where their heart is anyway. So, John is actually talking about a heart posture here. Love not the world. And then he goes on to say what the things of the world are. Those are actually heart issues and your outward lifestyle is going to be indicative of where your heart is.
Nate: Ok. So, sometimes when we think about worldliness, we're trying to figure out, what things can I do and what things can I not do. But you're saying that when you read this passage, it's not so much about the external things, it's the internal things. When I studied this passage, what was interesting to me was when he says, “Do not love the world,” it gets you in the mindset of asking, “what is the world?” But he uses the phrase later in verse 16, “For all that is in the world.” And then he talks about lust and pride and that's just very interesting to me. He's not talking about systems. He's not talking about activities. He's saying everything in the world. Lust and pride. This is what you can't devote your life to. When it says do not love the world, that's the Greek word agape, which in this context is meaning the ruling passion of your life.
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Ken: Yeah. And he's telling us that because the world caters to those things. Everything around us is moving in that direction and if we're not separate, then we're going to be in that same flow.
Nate: Can you describe that flow? What are you talking about when you say that?
Ken: It is the flow of living to satisfy self. To fulfill the desires of the flesh. I looked “fulfilling the desires of the flesh” up in the original language and it was talking about animalistic appetites. And this same usage is used in referring to the lust for physical pleasure or even overindulging in gluttony or getting drunk. Then moving on from those physical lusts, there is the lust of the eyes. Even this sort of lust can still lend itself to sexual lust, but it could also just be a coveting spirit. That could be even just materialism and wanting things. And then there is the pride of life where your heart posture is basically exalting yourself. Whether it's a position or your possessions and it's always in comparison to other people and it comes down to a worldly mentality of wanting to be on top. So, if your life is being devoted to those things, no matter how much you go to church and no matter how much you look to be a godly or a moral individual, you're actually worldly.
Nate: Yeah, I think that can be a challenge to really come to grips with. That if what I'm doing is coming from a selfish motive, then that's what God sees. It’s not as if God is looking to see if we did more good than we did bad. He is not looking and saying, “I see that you're doing, A, B, and C, which is not good, but look at all the good stuff you're doing. You are going to church. You’re an elder. You’re a worship leader.” Doing those good things doesn’t mean that God just overlooks the bad stuff. That’s not the truth of the matter. And it can take some courage to come to grips with the fact that what the Lord is looking at is the heart and even the best things we do can be flowing from a selfish and self-centered motive.
It should give all of us a pause to say, “Wow. Why do I do what I do?” Because if the world is all about the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and the pride of life, we could be doing a bunch of good things and it could be coming from those desires. Because if the desire of the eyes is really about seeing something and wanting it, that could be anything. That could be a position at the church I see open that I want and I'm going after it. That could be I see people's approval and I want that and I'm going after it. That could be, I'm a small group leader and people look up to me and now I'm boasting about it. That's the pride of life. I mean, these things just dig way deep into our lives and that's what John is saying. We can't be devoted to things that lend themselves to the love of the world. The Word of God really does cut like a two-edged sword right into the heart to find out what's really going on. What else did you see?
Ken: One of the things I would say is Jesus said, “where your treasure is there will your heart be also.” And I thought about the direction of one’s life. What are they really seeking after? What's most important to them? So, even though it is a heart issue, what they’re doing on a daily basis will show them where their heart is. If someone is just glutting themselves with entertainment, then obviously that's a sign that they're not seeking first the Kingdom of God.
I thought about a more blatant example of this. Think of someone who doesn't claim to know the Lord or maybe they are a nominal Christian and they're not even living a godly life, but they're doing all these humanitarian things. That doesn't mean they are godly just because they’re doing something right. The general tenor of their life is flowing away from God and toward the world. There is an obvious danger in loving the world and its immorality. Why would he command us not to love the world if there wasn't a danger that even Christians could fall into that.
And it is a commandment. It isn’t just a suggestion. He says blatantly, “love not the world.” And then I thought it was interesting that he even ended this epistle with, “Little children, keep yourself from idols.” So, just the whole idea of what's fueling the direction of your life is where your treasure is. Is there an idol in your life? Is there something worldly? Even if it's just simply a position. It doesn't have to be all the trappings of the world like a new car or a new house. It could just be desiring to promote yourself to be the best at something and to elevate yourself above others. To have power or prestige or just like you said, to look good or to be pleasing to people, but it's still promoting yourself.
In God's powerful hands, situations that devastate us actually become the first step on our road to redemption.
Sexual sin is like a hurricane of evil, and the overwhelming devastation can make it seem like there's no hope for the marriage. But in God's powerful hands, the sense of our total neediness actually becomes the first step on the road to redemption. That's what we'll talk about in episode two of our series Ashes to Beauty.
It isn’t enough to just put off bad behavior. We need our minds brought into alignment with God’s Word and to bear fruit of godliness.
It’s easy to deceive ourselves about where we are at in terms of sexual purity. This can be especially true for those who don’t believe they’ve gone as far as others who have sinned worse than they have. But as Nate and Ed Buch discuss in today’s interview, not only is this attitude very wrong, but it can allow the enemy a foothold into our lives that can take us further than we could ever imagine. (from Purity for Life Episode #494 - Babylon: Evil Seed on Noah's Ark)
Nate: In this interview, I want to key in on a different types of people and speak to them so that they can see what it means to live in victory. The first one I thought of was a young person growing up in a pretty conservative home. Their parents are really creating a protective barrier around them. So, they're not going to have access to promiscuity or pornography or sensual imagery on the television. But if they're indulging in fantasy or even self-gratification, what's the danger here for that person?
Ed: From my perspective, the danger is the lies that he's believing. He believes essentially that he's not that bad and that others are doing much worse. He's aware of some of the things that others are doing, and he believes that he's fine because he's not doing what they're doing. But he's still feeding his flesh and indulging in some forms of sexual sin in this scenario that you've created. And he's still walking in the wrong direction. Even if his steps are very slow and measured in that direction, he's still headed in the wrong direction.
He even likely believes that masturbation isn't a sin. So that would be another lie that he's believing because God is not OK with masturbation as a lot of people want to believe. Every sin is a sin that we need to repent of fully and let only the blood of Jesus cover. This man can't escape the need to repent for his sins. Even if he doesn't feel like it is sin, it still is. And if he's not broken and repentant over these kinds of indulgences, eventually they're going to lead him into the place where he wants more and more. Where he feels the need to go further and deeper into sin. He's eventually going to want something more sensuous, more graphic and more real – even perhaps to feed the sexual sin in his life and the habits that he's formed.
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The old saying is so true that says, “Lust will take you further than you intended to go, it will keep you longer than you intended to stay and it will cost you more than you intended to pay.” We treat that unfortunately like it's a tired old cliche because it's been around for years and talked about and used in many contexts. This has led those words to no longer have the kind of alarm for us that they should. Lust is a dangerous thing that takes us further and keeps us longer and costs us more than we reckon for. And a man indulging in any type of lustful behavior is going to have to deal with that at some point and really take hold of the truth about the lust in his heart.
What's going to happen when he leaves his home environment that has strict boundaries, where a lack of opportunity was primarily keeping him from going further. Believe me, we've counseled a lot of young men in both the Overcomers at Home Program and the Residential Program that come out of those kinds of settings. And then they went off to Bible College or they got into a serious dating relationship and suddenly all this lust that had lain dormant in their heart unchecked for years, suddenly starts to emerge, and shows up in various ways and leads to deeper forms of sin.
Nate: Yeah. While you were talking, I was thinking about how many times I've heard in one of our graduation speeches from our Residential Program, “And then I went off to college,” or, “And then I went into the army.” And then all of a sudden, all the barriers that they thought they had in their life and the control they thought they had is all gone. And then years in the future they finally are coming to their senses. That's horrible.
Let’s move on to the second scenario that I thought about where a young man or young woman have already indulged in sexual sin, but then they realize they don't want to live like that anymore. So, they put a bunch of safeguards in place like internet filters and accountability. Maybe they let somebody track their location on their phone and they are making gains in terms of overcoming the outward sin. They're not looking at pornography and they're not going to strip clubs. But maybe what’s really going on in their heart is waiting for a new set of circumstances to bring out what’s been lying dormant for years inside of them. What are warning signs that these people could look for that would say, whoa I'm not actually dealing with my heart, and this is going to come back around at some point?
Ed: I think there are probably a number of diagnostic questions that I would want to ask that person if I'm counseling them or they can ask themselves even. How are they really doing? In other words, how effective are these safeguards that they have put in place? Are they really working? Is this person testing all of the boundaries and trying to get past the safeguards or are they kind of just in the background holding them accountable? And if the person ends up at a hotel room or a relative's house where some of those same safeguards don't necessarily exist, what happens there? Are they being kept from their sin in those scenarios? Do they have intense struggles, or do they give over to their sin in some way when they see an open opportunity?
Answering these questions themselves will tell this person where their heart is at. Do they have victory over self-gratification? I think that's really a good barometer generally speaking of where someone's really at in terms of victory. It's not foolproof, but it'll tell them a lot, especially if they are giving over to their sin to some degree that their heart really isn't where they would like it to be or where it needs to be. On the other side of things, some of the questions would be, have they replaced sexual sin with some other unhealthy behavior? Maybe chasing after comfort foods or overindulging in some hobby that they really enjoy. When they are watching television or movies do they gravitate toward a particular kind of movie that might help stir or stimulate sensuality or fleshly behavior?
In biblical counseling we speak of the need to pursue the putting off of our sinful behaviors. We talk about a need to renew our mind and bring it into agreement and alignment with the Word of God and we need to put on godly behaviors that take the place of those sinful behaviors. So, when I hear you talk about someone who is the way you described at the outset, it sounds like he or she has done a good job putting off the outward behaviors of sin. But where are they at in terms of the actual renewing of the mind or the putting on process? Because that has to be part of it.
Is there any evidence that the Word of God is actually changing the way they think about sexual sin in general? It has to be something more than just God says I can't do it, because that won't keep any of us. In fact, that only seems to stir us and make us want it more, right? So, that's never going to be enough given the way that we're wired. We have to better understand why God sets the standards and boundaries that He does and we have to ultimately come into an agreement in our mind and our heart that sexual purity is better than sexual immorality. So, I would look for some kind of evidence of that in terms of dealing with where they are at in their heart.
As far as the putting on process, I look at what this person does with their idle time. Does any of it go to the Lord? Is there a tug inside of them that is drawing them to invest in their relationship with the Lord at all? What does he or she seek out for pleasure? How much of the world's sensuality and carnal pleasure is this person really exposing themselves to? What efforts are there in really investing in a relationship with the Lord? How much time and effort goes into studying the Bible? One of the keys to me in this area would be what their prayer life is like. How long is it? Is it consistent? Is this person spending time in dedicated prayer every day? And do their personal issues take up all that prayer time or are they really spending the majority of it interceding for others? Those sorts of things tell us a lot about where a person's heart is. If a person is trying to measure where their heart is at or get a sense of whether they are in danger or if they are doing OK, the real question they have to ask themselves is if the pull towards sexual sin over time is increasing or decreasing. That should tell them whether they are really dealing with their heart issues or not.
God has POWER to restore even the most broken marriages. In our newest podcast series, Ashes to Beauty, we'll look at how He does it!
For over 35 years, we have watched God do miracles in even the most hopeless of situations. If your marriage has been reduced to a pile of ashes, you won't want to miss our newest series. We'll talk to four different couples whose marriages were horribly damaged by sexual sin, but who walked God's pathway to restoration and found that He is truly able to take marriages from ashes to beauty.
Dr. John Oswalt is back with us for the second part of our discussion about holiness.
When God says, "Be holy, for I am holy," it's like He's saying, "Become like Me." Wait, seriously? God is telling fallen human beings to become like Him? Dr. John Oswalt is back with us for the second part of our discussion about holiness.
God told His people, "You must be holy, for I am holy." But what exactly is holiness? And how do we, fallen humans, become holy?
After God delivered the Israelite's from slavery in Egypt, He said to them, “I am Yahweh your God. Sanctify yourselves, therefore, and be holy; for I am holy." These are solemn words applicable to every professing believer. But what exactly is holiness? And how do we, mere humans, become holy? In this episode of Purity for Life, Dr. John Oswalt joins us to answer these questions, and more!
If we will faithfully do our part, God will be faithful to fill us with His divine power and glorious nature!
Wouldn't it be wonderful to be filled with God's own life and glory? Well, the good news is that if we do our part, God will fill us! In the last episode of our series "A Firm Foundation" we'll talk about what we must do to experience the reality of God’s life and power.
In this "Story of Hope", you'll hear about how a couple went from utter hopelessness to seeing the Lord make all things new!
In today's episode we'll dive into the powerful story of how a couple went from utter hopelessness to seeing the Lord make all things new.
If we will faithfully do our part, God will be faithful to fill us with His divine power and glorious nature!
Wouldn't it be wonderful to be filled with God's own life and glory? Well, the good news is that if we do our part, God will fill us! In the last episode of our series "A Firm Foundation" we'll talk about what we must do to experience the reality of God’s life and power.
The key to victory is learning to "walk by the Spirit." Join us for Part 2 of our discussion on Galatians.
If you’re a true believer, you know that Christianity is war. And the war can be incredibly fierce at times, but don’t lose heart, because God has shown us how to win. In Galatians 5, Paul says, “Walk by the spirit, and you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.” That’s the key to victory.
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