Timeless Truths: Sexual Sin is About What We Worship

Every human being was created with the capacity—no, the need—to worship. In this Timeless Truths segment, Steve Gallagher shows how the natural sex drive can easily become an idol of sexual pleasure in people's hearts.

Host: Steve, I want to first focus in on the term that you used in your book, “At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry”. Instead of sexual addiction, you used the term, “sexual idolatry”. Explain why you used that term and give us some insight into what it is about us as human beings that even opens the door for these kinds of struggles.

Steve: Well, idolatry of course, is a term we find in the Old Testament. The Jewish people were tempted by the pagan nations around them into the worship of false gods. And these idols were in the form of Baal or Asherim or many other forms of false gods and religions. The term “addict” or “addiction” is not found in Scripture. So, the concept of sexual idolatry is really the biblical way of viewing sexual addiction.

Host: Well, what is it about humans that opens the door to that? Are we just by our nature going to end up worshiping something?

Steve: Yes, absolutely. The way the Lord created our inside world, our heart is going to be a place of worship. Something is going to be at that altar. It's just the way humans are. We have to have a purpose in life. We have to have something that is the most important thing that really makes us want to get up in the morning and go through the day. And most people have a number of things that compete for our affection and worship. Mothers for instance, hold their children in very high esteem and that of course is a normal thing, but even that can turn into idolatry. But no matter who we are, we're going to have things that become very important to us. And obviously, for some that becomes sex.

Host: What role does the enemy have in having an outside influence on people in regard to sexual idolatry?

Steve: Well, obviously the enemy hates us, he hates God, and he wants to do anything he can to lure us away from truly worshiping God and allowing the Lord the position of the throne of our hearts. So, he's going to do all that he can to get us to look in a different direction than the Lord. So, he's going to constantly tantalize us with outside interests or whatever to get our eyes off Jesus.

Host: That makes me think then that he doesn't really care what it is. If sexual addiction works, then that's fine with him. But even if it's something that may otherwise appear good, if he can use that to draw us away from our focus on God, then he's happy.

Steve: I wouldn't maybe go quite that far. It is true that he's happy to get us focused on anything else than the Lord. The only hesitancy I have to go that far though is that something like sex, food, drugs, or alcohol, can be so powerful. They can have such a powerful grip on a person that the enemy then has the further assurance that a person is probably not going to break free.

Host: Well, let's talk about the person that has been influenced either by the enemy or their experiences and they are in bondage to sexual idolatry. Talk a little bit about what this person looks like. What kind of routines or patterns might we see in someone that's in this position?

Steve: Well, first of all, it's important to know that they can come from all walks of life. All races and both genders. So, who the actual person is can be anybody in that sense. So, their routine of life is going to vary depending on what the person does for a living and what's going on in their lives. And the way that they get involved in sexual sin even will vary to some degree.
        Some people will go weeks without giving over to sexual sin and then all of a sudden, they'll throw themselves into it for a binge for a couple of weeks nonstop. More typical, I suppose is the guy, or even woman who gives over once a week and then for the rest of the week it drops off the radar. And then the momentum starts building again and then they find themselves overwhelmed with temptation and giving over again.

Host: What's going on in the inside world of these individuals? How are they looking at others around them? How are they looking at their jobs? What's going on in their own minds?

Steve: Well, they're in a prison of self, and anytime a person is in a prison of self, then the carnal mindset is going to be much stronger and more magnified in that person. If, let's say, that person is prone to being critical, they're going to be even more critical of others. If that person's prone to pride, they're going to be more prideful. The more you give over to an addictive type of sin like sex, the stronger the other types of mental struggles are going to be inside of you.

Host: Can you talk a little bit more about the general life of a sex addict? What kinds of things might one notice about someone that is in the bondage of sexual addiction?

Steve: There is such a marked difference in a person who is really walking with the Lord and someone who's bound up in sin. For a person who's really walking with the Lord, they have a softness to their countenance. They have a passion for God. They are talking about the things of the Lord a lot. You see them in the Word every day. You see them having a vibrant devotional life. There's something about them that reflects Christ. They're concerned about other people. That's what the Christian life is supposed to resemble.
        Someone on the other end of that spectrum, who's giving over to sin regularly, they're going to be the opposite of those things. They're going to be hardened against the things of God. They're going to be cynical. They're going to be more concerned and interested in the things of the world than they are the things of God. They'll go to church, but it's almost obligatory. There’s just such a complete opposite in the way that they live life.

Host: In regard to the person in bondage to sexual sin, the verse that comes to my mind is that the wicked flee when no one pursues. (Proverbs 28:1a) Do you find that there's especially a sense of paranoia in people who are given over to secret sexual sin that nobody else knows about?

Steve: Yeah, the full verse is, “The wicked flee when no one is pursuing, But the righteous are bold as a lion.” (Proverbs 28:1, NASB 1995) And it is true that especially with sin that is as shameful as sexual sin, there is the element that if you are secretly giving over to sin, you get the sense that people know what's going on inside you. It is like a paranoia or a fear that somehow those around you have figured out what's really going on in your secret life.

Host: And in that secret life, I assume that those who have been giving over to sexual sin for a period of time, it has become not only an issue in their life, but it becomes the identity that they relate to. Is that possible to overcome? Can you actually gain a new identity as you come out of this sinful lifestyle?

<pull-quote>Part of Christianity is all about transferring the old identity of self, who we have always known ourselves to be, and transferring that identity to Christ and His characteristics.<pull-quote><tweet-link>TweetThis<tweet-link>

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Steve: Yes, absolutely. Part of Christianity is all about transferring the old identity of self, who we have always known ourselves to be, and transferring that identity to Christ and His characteristics. And when a person really is converted to Christ, that resemblance starts to show forth in their life and you can start to see that is where they want to be.

Host: So that's where the hope is.

Steve: That's where the hope is. That you have within you the Spirit of the living God who is compelling you toward a righteous lifestyle.