Side Effects of the Proud Heart: Anger and Malice

Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility towards another person. It can happen when our will is crossed by people or circumstances, and we choose to respond by being annoyed and malicious towards them. Ultimately the self-life is at the root of these sins. We brought biblical counselor David Rodriguez into the studio to share his own experiences with anger and vengeance. Let’s see what can learn from how the Lord mercifully exposed his sin and began to set Him free. (From Episode #425 - Exposing the Pride that Needs to be Perfect).

Host: When pride goes unchecked in a person’s heart there are various sins that tend to come out of them. One of those manifestations is brooding anger, and if you desire to overcome its influence in your life, then understanding the connection between it and pride is critical. This anger isn’t the kind where someone explodes in a moment of rage. Instead, it sits just below the surface, where it can simmer and stew unseen by the eyes of others.

David: My thought life was full of revenge and anger. I saw someone getting something that I wanted, whether it was a job, a girl or a car and I was very frustrated towards them. I was just angry at others because I thought I deserved what they were getting. There was a lot of bitterness, and a lot of brooding over issues I thought I had been wronged in. I always wanted myself to be promoted over these people. I always wanted to step on them and step over them, and I was frustrated that I wasn't able to do that. So I wanted to bring them back down to where I was, which is what I thought they deserved. I was always replaying in my mind how I could best these people, teach them something they didn't know and show them up in some way that would kind of humiliate them.

Host: This brooding anger can sneak by without seeming to break any of God's commandments. Just as the Pharisees were blind to how their lustful thoughts were as wicked as adultery, so too are our evil thoughts toward others as wicked as actual murder.

David: Something I remember very specifically happened when I was in high school. There was a girl that I liked, and we were in band together. One day I walked into the band hall and she and one of my friends were holding hands. I remember my gut reaction was immediately anger. I walked outside and turned around immediately to try and hide my anger from everyone that was around me. I went outside and tried to get over it somehow. Eventually my friend came out. I remember looking at Him and thinking awful thoughts, wishing that he was dead and wishing that harm would come to him. I somehow managed to kind of repress those thoughts and keep them hidden. Even though we remained friends, I'm sure that I was always trying to somehow, in subtle or not so subtle ways, one up him or make him pay for what he had done to me.

Host: We can all be blind to the type of sin that broods in the heart, subtly tainting the way that we think and act towards others. We may act kind towards people that inside we wish would pay for the ways they’ve hurt us and excuse our actions because we aren’t acting out on those thoughts and feelings. But this isn’t how Jesus taught us to act towards others. He taught us that to desire something is the same as doing it. See Matthew 5. He taught us that our righteousness has to go way beyond the kind that is only outward. God requires real heart change, real love and a real renewing of the mind. If we don't examine ourselves through the lens of scripture, then our own sinful thinking, not the Holy Spirit's, will be the driving force of our thoughts and actions.

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David: I can clearly see now that this brooding anger and desire for vengeance was a mechanism that was deeply rooted in a strong self-exalting attitude that I had. I reacted to not getting to what I wanted, or not being elevated to a certain position because I had such a high view of myself. I thought I was worthy of attention. I thought I was worthy of promotion. I thought I should get whatever I wanted. So when I saw others getting it, I wanted to defend my honor, so to speak. I wanted to do whatever it took to get what I thought I deserved.  

Host: God wants to set us free from a self-centered existence because a life dominated by selfish thoughts and actions will trap us in misery. But to do this, He must deal with what’s at the root of this prideful way of life or we will remain trapped in sin and sadness.

David: I can see that a major part of my staying in that cycle was that whenever those things were exposed, instead of dragging myself out into the open to get dealt the blow that it deserved, I pitied myself. So, I was stuck in self-pity instead of letting the Lord deal with me, and instead of letting even my superiors deal with me. This got me thinking that I deserved better than I was getting.

Host: Those who remain stuck in this kind of anger, or in any kind of pride, will lack the true peace that comes from walking in a close relationship with God. But there is a way out. We don't have to stay in that kind of thinking. If we will pray for God to open our eyes and allow the situations, He places us in to expose what is really inside of us, He will change us. If we will humble ourselves and say we're wrong, then we can begin the path of repentance into real freedom from the sins that bind us.    

David: The Lord was very merciful to me. He brought me to a job where He began showing me what I was really like. As the bad fruits of anger and vengeance started coming out of me, He helped me to see what was under it: a self-exalting attitude that was always striving to get ahead at the expense of others. So I ended up in a lot of situations where He helped me to see my own pride. He taught me to, instead of being envious or vengeful, to humble myself and submit to where He had me.