Finding a Spouse after Sexual Sin
Mike: Steve, today we want to deal with a question that came from an individual that has a history of sexual sin. Their question really revolves around finding a spouse after being involved in sexual sin. How does one go about finding a spouse?
Steve: Well, there's a couple of different things this guy should consider. You know, first of all, the importance of repentance. When you are living in a lifestyle of repentance, it allows the Lord to go to work on restoring your innocence. And that's absolutely vital for a guy like this, because guys that have been in sin, they're single, and then all of a sudden want to get their life together and want to get married and all that. In their mind, they're going straight from this single life filled with perversion into married life. And they don't understand that their interior world needs to go through a complete upheaval, a complete changeover.
Mike: They have been just, completely corrupted inside if they've been involved in sexual sin.
Steve: Right, and they tend to think, "Well, I'll just get married." But they don't understand that they'll bring that corruption into the marriage. So, the first thing he has to do is to just let God do His work transforming him inside as a person.
Mike: Ok Steve, so after this individual has begun to allow the Lord to do a work in his inside world, is there anything else that you would share with him that would be of a benefit to him?
Steve: Well, one of the things that really stands out to me about his question is, "How does one find a spouse?" I really want to address that for a second, because if you're walking with the Lord and you're in His will, you don't have to be concerned about finding a spouse. God is going to do it for you. If you are in His will, He is going to bring the right person into your life, assuming of course it's His will. So, I really want to stress this because, there are so many Christians out there that are trying to take it into their own hands. You know, going through Christian dating services and singles groups just for the purpose of finding a spouse. And all that tends to do is to get them into relationships that are not God-ordained. It's so much better to just really pray about it and put it into God's hands and trust Him with the whole situation and then just get on with his life with God. And I have seen it happen so many times. When a guy is willing to do that, the Lord brings Miss Perfect into his life. He could have never found this girl himself, by his own efforts. But by allowing the Lord to do it, he ends up with the girl that he's meant to have.
Mike: We're so prone, particularly in America today, to try to take control of things ourselves. And this is just another one of those areas where we just don't seem to be wanting to trust God to have control over our lives.
Steve: Yeah, well it kind of touches on a larger issue which is: people say they put their trust in God, but do they really? This is an enormous decision for a person. You're going to live with the consequences of it for the rest of your life. And we say we trust the Lord, but yet even with monumental decisions like this, we immediately reveal the truth. The fact is, most people trust themselves and not the Lord.
Mike: We see so many examples in Scripture of the consequences, the very profound consequences sometimes, of not trusting the Lord and doing things, maybe not even seemingly evil things, but just going our own way in our own will. And certainly, the Scripture says, "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and then all these things will be added unto you."
Steve: Yeah, that's right.
Mike: So good advice and hopefully that will be an encouragement and hopefully some wise direction to those out there who may be seeking a spouse.
