Creating an Atmosphere of Mercy in the Home

How can a couple change the environment of their home from one of tension and strife into an atmosphere where mercy is flowing toward one another? Jeff and Rose Colón address that topic in this interview.

Host: Jeff and Rose Colón have joined me in the studio. Jeff and Rose, good to see you again.

Jeff: Good to be here.

Host: We want to talk today about the importance of creating an atmosphere of mercy in the home. Jeff, what do we have to say about that?

Jeff: The whole idea of creating an atmosphere of mercy in the home environment is a vital component for a godly marriage. If you think about it, any marriage that's going to glorify God and show forth His goodness is a picture of the Lord’s relationship with His church. Our marriages are supposed to exemplify that. The Lord had compassion on each one of us. Ephesians 2 says He died while we were yet sinners because of His mercy toward us. Is it too much for Him to ask us to show that same mercy in our marriages?

Host: As you were talking about that, I was thinking that if there's an atmosphere of mercy in the home, not only is there going to be peace in the home which every couple wants, but what a better testimony for others outside of the home that are watching that relationship.

Jeff: Exactly. And if we're in a Christian marriage, especially one that's having difficulties, we're really going to find out how Christian we really are and how much mercy we have in our hearts toward our spouse. I've told my wife many times that there is absolutely no reason why a truly Christian marriage should ever fail even after something as devastating as sexual sin has occurred.

Host: Amen. Now let's talk about how to go about creating an atmosphere of mercy in the home. Let's start with the husband. What are some of the things that the husband can do?

Jeff: I have dealt with this a lot with the men in the Residential program who have sinned against their wives. And one of the most important things I emphasize to them is to really be willing to bear the burdens of their wife. Not be defensive or react in an unbiblical way to her fears or things that she's still dealing with from their lifestyle of sin that they were living in for years in that home. He needs to give her the same mercy that God has showered upon him.
      I know in my own household, when mercy is in the atmosphere, then an atmosphere of fighting and disagreement has no hope of surviving. The Bible tells us to not be overcome by evil but to overcome evil with good. And I'm not saying your spouse is evil, but that's how we feel sometimes when we're wronged. And I know men can be a little touchy sometimes and we really need to learn to put our wives’ interest before our own and consider their needs more important than ours.

Host: Of course, the husband is half of the equation, but how can a wife help to create an atmosphere of mercy in the home?

Rose: She can create an atmosphere of mercy in the home by being patient and being willing to suffer long with others in the home. Not only with her husband, but with her children. Because a lot of times wives will reach a limit with their husband around the children, and they start yelling or they may even belittle their husband in front of the children. And when she's in that spirit, she's not creating an atmosphere of mercy in the home toward her husband or even toward her children. If she is acting that way, then she needs to learn how to be willing to admit that she’s wrong and not feel like she needs to prove that she’s right or win the argument. If she is willing to walk in humility toward her husband and to be willing to pray for him instead of voicing her complaints or grievances, she will create an atmosphere of mercy in her home.

Host: Jeff, I know that developing an atmosphere of mercy in the home is a challenge for any couple. We all have to bear one another. Is there an encouraging word you can give to a couple that may be struggling with this?

Jeff: Sure. As I said earlier, difficulties usually do come in a marriage and it's going to test us, but God has called us to go the Narrow Way. He's called us to be a disciple. In other words, to live and to walk as He walked. To love as He loved. And when we face those tough choices that go against everything that we feel and perceive to be right, we'll really find out how much we love God. And one of the greatest needs in any marriage is for mercy to be flowing freely from both parties. So, my encouragement would be, don't be stingy with the mercy God has given you. Let it blossom. Let it become the atmosphere of your home.